Mental Health Month Tip: What to Say When Someone Tells You They Are "Fine", And You Know They Aren't.

When someone tells you they're fine, but they're not, it's important to read between the lines. Whether it's the subtle cues in their expression, the shift in their tone, or a change in their behavior, recognizing distress can be subtle yet vital. It's natural to want to offer support in such situations. Tailoring your response based on your relationship with the person, here are some phrases to consider creating a safe space for them to open up:

• "Are you sure you're, okay? I'm here to listen whenever you're ready."
• "I sense something is troubling you. I'm here if you need to talk about it."
• "I've been in that 'fine' place before. If you need to vent, I'm here for you."
• "Would you like to grab a coffee/lunch? It feels like we could catch up and talk."
• "That 'fine' didn't sound convincing. I'm here if you want to have a chat."

The DO's and DON'TS:

DO:

• Practice active listening, focusing on the speaker without diverting the conversation to personal experiences unless requested.
• Inquire about what they may need to feel better and offer your support to discuss and address their needs.
• Maintain confidentiality unless the situation is life-threatening.
• Normalize their feelings by reassuring them that mental health concerns are common and that various resources are available for support.
• Plan to follow up by exchanging contact details, checking in after a few days to see how they are doing, and offering resources if appropriate.

DON'T:

• Avoid saying, "You shouldn't feel that way," as it can invalidate their struggles and the courage it took to share them.
• Refrain from using the term "crazy" as it can be stigmatizing and hurtful.
• Instead of giving unsolicited advice, ask how you can assist them.
• Recognize that sometimes individuals just need someone to listen and empathize rather than provide solutions.
• Avoid making comparisons or minimizing their feelings by suggesting things could be worse.
• While offering help is important, refrain from trying to fix all their problems, especially when professional intervention may be necessary.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org . You can also reach Crisis Text Line by texting HELLO to 741741.

For more resources and tools for your well-being visit:

Resources - SheShatters

To your success and well-being,