Mental Health Awareness Week 2024: My Story

? Trigger Warning: Suicide & Baby Loss ?

I have thought long and hard for months as to whether there would be a right time let alone build up the courage to speak openly on a public forum about subjects that can often be seen as taboo and constrained to our private lives.

Only a few people closest to me are aware of the full details however many more will probably associate me with my smiling, reserved and jovial personality which has often masked personal struggles.

In August 2023, our world was torn apart when we lost our beautiful baby boy Zachary in difficult circumstances. Whilst we were fortunate to spend 3 precious hours with him before he passed away peacefully, nothing prepares you for the shock, pain and upset of loosing a baby or child; something no parent or person should ever have to experience.

Less than 6 months later, tragedy fell on the family again when my father-in-law passed away following a short illness and then just over a week after his funeral my step-father-in-law passed away suddenly having only been with him the afternoon before.?

What most people aren't aware of is that I have been finding life difficult for a while; in recent years I have been struggling to deal with sexual abuse I experienced from a responsible adult (not family member or friend) as a young child and how that has somewhat defined my life and the way I live.

On Saturday 11th November 2023 whilst home alone and unable to cope with recent and historic events as well as the pressures of life, I decided that I wanted to go to sleep and not have to wake up again.

I made an attempt on my life having lay in bed and taken a significant overdose of paracetamol and codeine. After collapsing and falling unconscious briefly I was rushed in to hospital by ambulance and spent 3 days receiving urgent medical care.

The hospital's Mental Health & Crisis Team advised that the overdose poisons in my blood were considerably over the lethal limit and that I was incredibly fortunate to have not caused permanent damage to my organs or worse.

Prescribed anti-depressants and weekly home visits, I was reassured that I would be provided all of the care and support I needed under the condition that I regretted my actions and would seek help in the event I was considering an attempt on my life again; I agreed but only on the basis I received the help I needed as I could not guarantee that I wouldn't "crash" again if confronted by traumatic and difficult life experiences.

The sadness, grief and pain of recent months has been incredibly difficult for everyone in the family.

For me the life challenges and lows continue and whilst there has been so much love and support during this time from friends, neighbours, colleagues and business partners I am not sure I would have been able to have coped without the professional care and support I continue to receive from the NHS and Community Mental Health Teams.

So why share my story??

In addition to helping me in opening up and talking about things, today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week; a subject fraught in embarrassment and taboo I hope this post will help in raising an awareness of this national emergency and more importantly help others who might be struggling silently and in need of support or someone to talk to and listen.

Our professions, careers and work has a direct and immense impact on our families, health and personal lives. We often don't know what is going on behind an out of office email response or voice message, or how someone might be feeling whilst trying to maintain professionalism in a meeting or on a phone call.

Sustainability is not just about protecting the environment and delivering on the economic profitability of a business; as important, if not more, it's about our mental wellbeing and our ability to live happy and healthy lives.

Whether an entrepreneur, business leader, colleague, friend or fellow human being, humanity is defined by our compassion, kindness and understanding to one another.

It is therefore imperative that we are mindful that anyone could be struggling and that no one should feel the need to suffer silently.

I pledge to always be available for anyone that wants to talk.

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek