Mental health and the art of being happy

As many of you may be aware, yesterday marked the start of Mental Health Week. As it happens, a report on the radio last week had already provoked me to write and I want to explore what it is to BE mentally healthy.

Surely, if we break it down, to be mentally healthy is to be happy or at least NOT unhappy. That is not to say "on a high" or "experiencing a rush" or "enjoying a recreational activity" although these may be part of the mix. To be happy is about overall contentment, whatever the ups and downs of life.

Why Mental Health Week?

According to the Awareness Days UK site the theme for 2017 is to shift from "surviving to thriving". Many people are experiencing a financial squeeze at the moment and life feels like a month to month, week to week or even day to day fight to get by, for many. If Mental Health Week can generate a conversation about what we can all do to improve society that is great BUT realistically there are always going to be pressures to deal with and there are always going to be unhappy people who have everything.

Know when to look for help

Awareness of the importance of mental health, that "it is okay not to be okay" and to seek help without fear of stigma is also a positive step. How many among us are drowning their sorrows in alcohol or throwing themselves into overwork without realising they may have a problem?

Take a moment to reflect on how you currently handle stress. Ask yourself what percentage of time in your daily life do you spend doing what you want to do or even doing things that you find rewarding. Consider whether your occupation, your relationships and your direction are as constructive for you as they may once have been.

Without a fully conscious, agile approach to life, it is very easy to slip into a rut without even being aware of it. That can create the conditions for unhappiness and depression.

Finding happiness - learn to identify unhappiness

Let's do what we can do change the outer world but we can't rely on it for happiness.

We do need to focus on happiness and how to generate it because without doubt the more unhappiness we experience, the more at risk we are to mental health conditions.

Things that make us unhappy

This sounds like the easiest thing in the world, doesn't it? Surely we can easily spot the things that make us unhappy and remove them? Not so, apparently. This article on a fashion site, for example, lists 10 "scientifically proven" causes of unhappiness. Enemy number 1 is spending too much time on Facebook (and, one would guess, similar sites). Ironically, one of the reasons that is not listed in the article is looking at fashion magazines and fashion articles.

Women - pay attention

Even as far back as 2012, it was known that 70% of women experienced a feeling of depression after looking at a fashion magazine for just three minutes! If this is alarming, the researcher I heard on the radio the other day made even bolder claims.

She said that the vast majority of women are unhappier after looking at a fashion magazine, not just those who had issues in terms of how they perceived their body image. Take note here, even the women who otherwise felt delighted with their physical appearance and carry an air of confidence in all they do will experience a feeling a unhappiness and dissatisfaction after reading a fashion magazine, according to research.

Even today, quoting a survey of 5,000 women, commissioned by REAL magazine, the Daily Mail reports that:

• Only 3% of women in the UK are totally happy with their body
• 73% think about their size or shape every single day
• 91% of women were unhappy with their hips and thighs
• 77% of women were unhappy with their waist
• 78% said they had cellulite

How much of this unhappiness is being driven by an unhealthy media obsession with the concept of physical perfection?

What about the men?

In this article it is reported that:

• 38% of men would trade at least one year of life to achieve their ideal body weight
• 78% wished they were more muscular, particularly in the arm and chest areas
• 23% would avoid exercising because of concerns about their appearance to other gym users
• At any one time, 18% are on a high protein diet and 32% use protein shakes and supplements

I love the gym and I train as often as I can. While my primary motivation is because of how exercise makes me feel - fitter, stronger and more mentally resilient - and the fact that I train people in self-defence and believe I should be fit for the role, I can definitely relate to anxiety about body image.

As for others, I am stunned at how many men are running around with these protein shakes. They are being sold to, big time, and the reason they are buying these products in droves will not always be a healthy one.

Don't buy into unhappiness

We all have a choice, moment to moment. Do you want to do something constructive that will make you happy or do you want to do something that is self-harming? Personally, I avoid alcohol, but then I had quite serious problems with it many moons ago so I will always be cautious of it. That said, when I was drinking moderately for a period last year, I discovered that I was never quite as laid back the next day, regardless of how little I had drank or the absence of a hangover.

Regular drinking, in my own experience, had a dampening effect on my joie de vivre and stressful events hit me harder. On Friday last week, I had my first whisky since Christmas eve - I was celebrating a very successful April and the completion of quite a long and laborious writing project. While I can't say that the drink had a detrimental effect, the benefit was hardly earth shattering so it will be a while before I have another.

Why do we spend so much time on social media platforms, especially if they are making us unhappy? People who control the time they spend on social media are more productive and happier.

Learn to love yourself

Getting rid of the things that make us unhappy can seem counter intuitive at first. They are often things that we think we are doing because they make us happy. On the other side of the coin, the most unlikely things can bring enormous happiness.

Take the time to reflect and identify what makes you happy. It could be something as simple as taking a walk by a lake or dancing around the room on your own to the sound of Kylie. Either way, it is not about what others like or what others think. It is about what you think.

The power of mindfulness

One of the most powerful tools for happiness that I use and share with others is the practice of meditation. Sitting in silence may not seem particularly appealing compared to sticking something on TV, chatting to friends or a trip to the pub, but just 10 minutes per day of mindfulness practice brings a plethora of benefits:

• Mental toughness/resilience - the ability to bounce back quickly from a setback or negative experience
• Improved concentration - a wandering mind can be an enemy to happiness. Improved concentration means the ability to focus on positive things and to be more productive
• More creative thinking - creative thinking allows us to see things and consider things we would otherwise miss, allowing us to identify solutions where we would otherwise find dead ends
• Increased empathy - this leads to a greater understanding of ourselves and others, and therefore better relationships (and a better relationship with ourselves)

These are just a few of the benefits.

See the wood for the trees

The take away is that yes, we should all be making an effort to make our world a better place, for ourselves and others. Look out for others while ensuring that we are mentally intact and look for the help we need if things are getting us down.

More importantly, realise that even if we can't control everything that happens in our world, we can take steps to steer us in the direction of mental health and HAPPINESS. Who doesn't want that? Meditation puts us in touch with our deepest self, and will help us to identify the things in life that make us happy and the things that don't. It shows us the path to a more authentic and happier life. It is great for mental well-being.

It will soon be time for me to do something simple that brings great joy to my daily life - picking up my youngest son from school.

Do something that brings YOU joy today.