Mental Flexibility in Dealing With the Unknown - Personal Lessons From Leading Through Crisis

"In October 2017, I boarded a plane after 'only' two weeks in Bangladesh, where I had worked with my small team at the onset of exhausting and long-lasting crisis response for the Rohingya refugees. After working in leading crisis preparedness and response management for many years worldwide, I thought that I had seen most of it, but these 14 days took me completely off guard and took me to my limits. This mission put my leadership skills and mental flexibility to an unprecedented test, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. "

I won't refer to the extensive and excellent literature and research on crisis leadership in this article. It is merely a personal account and lessons that I learned from almost 15 years of working with managing crises, leading crisis teams, and training emerging leaders. It is an honest account of the challenges. I will try to put a structure to what helped me navigate complex, unpredictable, and fast-changing contexts and helped me make decisions in seemingly endless dilemma situations and face my limits. I will outline some of the dilemmas in this article without reference to any persons or organizations or revealing the decision. These are not tips or advice as such, though I hope that they may be relevant to the many crisis leaders, managers, and everyone who faces similar challenges in the current situation. Dealing and managing the unknown with mental flexibility means dealing with the different elements of the crisis.

1. Dealing with Context

"Eight men were standing around me trying to explain to me the rules. All were speaking at once, fast and in an English that was close to incomprehensible. I was about to meet his highness, the regional governor, who decided on the permission to access the conflicted areas with our emergency response operation. I was told how important it is to behave correctly and show respect, and I became increasingly nervous because everyone else was so agitated and seemed intimidated. Finally, two men come in, and a large commotion starts. I greet the first one, introducing myself and telling him what an honor it was to meet his highness and follow him as he walks through the room. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard someone saying with a smile: 'So you are from Europe? Wherefrom?'. It was the governor, the second man I had ignored completely."

A core characteristic of crises is that the situation is dynamic, and things change rapidly and are unpredictable. However, to handle the crisis effectively, I found it to be a key that you can scan the situation and identify the new facts, challenges, limitations, and opportunities. Wherever I worked, I found it essential to understand the context to the extent possible as an outsider, yet reminding myself that I won't ever be able to fully comprehend its complexity, let alone blend in and thoroughly become part of it. It helped me accept that I am a small part of a gigantic system and that I have to learn the rules as quickly as possible to play by them and use them to my advantage. I regularly faced what I found to be my tempting enemy, namely my assumption that I know a context and "figured out how things work." This was hardly ever true, and currently, this might be more challenging than many of us might realize. The current situation plays out in a highly familiar context, our countries, cultures, and homes for most of us. They have turned into something unfamiliar through limitations, restrictions, and the situation's effect on our social interactions. It has adopted many characteristics of a crisis context, and each one of us is now challenged to adapt and learn quickly to maneuver and be able to deal with the context. These points helped me previously:

• Take a bird's view no matter how familiar you are with the context to be able to keep analyzing the changes and facts.
• Do not ever assume that you know and understand the context and how things work.
• Sticking to facts - this is what I know, and this is what I do not know - and avoiding knowing everything. It won't ever work.
• Try to become part of the context and blend in, but do not get absorbed because it will limit your flexibility.
• Sometimes being a stranger to the context is an advantage because you can ask the "naive" questions.

2. Dealing with dilemmas

"We were about to leave for the visits to the potential sites for the hospital that was to be the main health care facilities to hundreds of thousands of refugees when I was informed that the influential senior politician and decision-maker for our hospital, who was joining me in our officially marked car, also was known as the regional drug lord and supposedly involved in human trafficking. He was waiting for me at the car to take him into the refugee camps."

Hold back unused equipment and tools to people in extreme need in order not to risk their safety or hand them out; firing a staff member because coping with a challenging experience got him to break the rules in the highest crisis or not; closing a refugee camp while increasing numbers were arriving for security concerns or not; spending money on insignificant things to not reduce the budget for subsequent years emergency operations or not; deciding whether a car that was illegally on the road in a war zone at night to return the shorter way into the fighting zone or continue the all-night drive on the long path into an area with a high risk of kidnappings; approving the illegal import of equipment to be able to set up what was developing into one of the most significant humanitarian response operations in history or not; these are just a few of the dilemmas that I faced over many years and where I had to take the final decision.

Working in and with crises is dealing with dilemmas. In crises, I almost constantly had to make decisions that I had insufficient information for and hardly ever knew what was right or wrong. In retrospect, there were better options for some of my choices, and yet, I am confident that all choices I ever made in crises were the right ones. I made those decisions to the best of my knowledge, conviction, and following my set of values as much as the context I was operating in.

Currently, countries choose different approaches to deal with covid19. While it might not seem obvious, these choices are dilemma decisions: are we willing to sacrifice lives in the short run to secure the country's stability in the long run, or are we trying to save everyone we can and collectively take the consequences? We do not yet know what the "right" approach is. However, this is important to remember also later. When the decision was made, there was no right or wrong; it was dealing with a dilemma. Here are some things that I remind myself when facing difficulties:

• Accept that you have limited information, but try to identify the facts. Avoid making assumptions or using rumors or unconfirmed information as decisive elements for decision-making.
• Do not look at decisions as right or wrong but good or better. You might not know until long after, if ever, whether the decision was the best possible.
• Once your decision is taken, let go and move on. Do not doubt decisions because they will influence your communication and stop you from moving on to the next one with a clear mind. In crises, I experienced that one might sometimes get a second chance to reconsider because the context changes quickly.
• With a few exceptions, most decisions I had to make were not to be taken in seconds. Even under pressure, take a breath, zoom out, and reflect on the information before deciding.
• Consider how and what you communicate. Less is more, and stick to facts. Keep your explanations short and focus on the reasons for the decision.
• Learn how to use time pressure to your advantage. I often observed in leaders and myself that under stress, the brain naturally reduces our decision-making to considering only the most critical factors for us and our core values.
• Do not hesitate to get others’ perspectives, and do not ever think you have to solve situations alone. However, remind yourself that the final decision is with you and that you have to stand for it.
• Know your core values and make sure that you use them as decisive core factors when deciding over dilemmas.

3. Dealing with myself

"Three little children, maybe 5 or 6 years old, came up to me, no shoes and wearing just t-shirts. It was -8 degrees and had snowed overnight. It was the same children we had seen a week before, which led us to distribute warm clothes to their families. The parents did not give it to their children. I was warned that they wouldn't because it would stop the children from earning money when sent out to beg. I should have been angry, furious, shocked, compassionate, in disbelief...I wasn't. Instead, I was numb; I felt nothing."

I facilitated many trainings for crisis preparedness, high-security awareness, and critical incident management. I do think that there are things you can train and prepare for. However, one thing you cannot qualify for is how you will react when you are confronted with a crisis for the first time. The funny thing is that no crisis is like the other, just as no reaction is like the other. In a way, every time is the first time. One of the biggest dangers that I have seen and experienced many times over the years is assuming you know how you will react when faced with a crisis because you have been in one many times before. I saw people starting to inexplicably laugh hysterically without being able to stop when they pointed a gun at me. I saw people getting very calm while others talked non-stop. I saw people hide and people running to where a bomb went off minutes before, and I often saw leaders emerge whom nobody would have ever thought to be a leader. Whether we are leaders or not, we are all human and have human reactions, which is crucial to keep in mind.

Another important thing is your triggers. Knowing yourself is a crucial element to successfully leading through a crisis. I faced many of my demons and motivations, like in the example above, where I was confronted with suffering children, and my system was overwhelmed.

I learned the hard way to accept that part of getting through a crisis is dealing with myself:

• Shift your focus to totally unrelated and banal things, even jokes, from time to time to find breaks and time to debrief and get the headspace to sort your thoughts.
• Consider the priorities when making decisions. Do not apply the time management rule that you do first what can be done quickly. In crises, it is the opposite because the tough choices will pile up.
• Accept your reactions, even when you have reactions that might be opposite to what you experienced previously, and do not try to overcome them.
• Accept your limitations and try to set personal indicators when it gets too much. Remember that no emotional reaction/numbness is most likely a warning sign. You should talk to someone if either occurs.
• Do not neglect basic needs such as food, water, and sleep.
• Fear, insecurity, pressure, stress, etc., are normal feelings in crises. However, also accept that you might like to work in and with crises because of the adrenaline, the kick, and the positive sense of achievement and pride, when you make it through it.

4. Dealing with expectations

"We handed out water to the approximately 50 villagers that had walked for more than an hour to meet under the ?talking tree? that provided shade from the brutal heat at 40 degrees celsius. After introducing myself and informing them that we were here to get to know each other and listen to each other's concerns, as I was informed was expected of me by the team that organized the meeting, elders jumped up and started throwing things shouting at each other. Their expectations were to be informed by me about when the boreholes were drilled that were part of their peace agreement with each other after 20 years of violent conflict and who would get which. They knew each other far too well and knew what they wanted; only I didn't."

Leading through a crisis is also about handling expectations. Expectations that might not be visible, clear, and outspoken are omnipresent. Whenever I go out to challenging situations and contexts, I leave with expectations to myself. This is often premature as I might not have even seen the situation, known the crisis, and understood my role. But there are always expectations around us, like in the current situation, whether our children, families, colleagues, managers, or people are suffering. They look up to us, need support, and want us to ensure that things will be fine. They want safety and security and/or look for someone to give them direction. Combined with the context and my expectations, I found this at times an unbearable weight. It often seemed like a million things needed follow-up, and each person around me wanted something from me. I often thought that I could not handle the situation and would fail everyone around me. Over the years, I learned to see this a bit more relaxed. Sometimes all it takes is recognition or a small action that does not require much to deal with expectations:

• Try to identify what is expected from you and not act on your assumptions. Distinguish between expectation (nice to have) and need (must have).
• Be honest and explicit in your communication about what people can expect from you, and do not ever pretend or promise things.
• Be clear about what you expect from others and make it explicit to avoid adverse reactions when they are unknowingly not met.
• Avoid trying to fix everything and find ways to support people around you in solving their situations. Put your energy where you can make the most impact.
• Be aware of what is influenced by previous experience and what is influenced by the actual situation.

5. Dealing with assumptions

"After intense negotiations and finally agreeing on the lease terms, I took a picture of the signed lease agreement for the land that would allow us to set up a hospital that would provide large-scale health services for the population in need. I sent it with the message: "Finally, we did it; you can inform the Secretary-General!" I was so relieved, exhausted, and proud of the team who supported me, and I was scheduled to fly home two days later. The door knocked. I opened, and a man stood outside and introduced himself. My colleague translated: ?This is the man who owns the land where the hospital will be.? I looked at him, then at the man. It was not the man who signed the lease agreement.

Assumptions are the mother of all f*@% ups. I learned that this statement is 100% accurate. Not being aware of your assumptions and acting based on these are some of the most dangerous things in crises. As outlined above, dealing with all the different components include avoiding assumptions. In crises, assumptions can cause much delay, work against you, and cost much additional energy. Whether as a leader with your team, a parent or a partner, or a friend, not making thoughts, assumptions about feelings and explicit considerations can lead to misunderstandings and affect the typical approach to dealing with the crisis. Dealing with a crisis is constantly coping with assumptions:

• Do not ever assume you have the situation under control until you know you do.
• Never assume everybody else sees, feels, and experiences the situation the same as you do. Do not conclude what others think based on your thoughts.
• Do not assume you know what is going to happen next.
• Do not assume you know or understand everything.
• Avoid thinking that you have the perfect solution.
• Keep asking yourself whether you 'know' or you 'think.'

6. Dealing with the consequences

"I got a phone call from a nurse who had just been to an Ebola operation. She had worked tirelessly to fight the virus in West Africa and was now in the 21-day mandatory quarantine to observe the development of potential symptoms. She was angry at me and in tears. She shouted at me that I didn't tell her that she would be an outcast in her hometown, that nobody wanted to see her, and that her children would not be allowed to go to school because of the fear they would infect people. We talked for a while before I asked her whether, knowing what she knew now what she would face after her return, would she go again? She was silent for a few seconds before she answered: "In the blink of an eye."

Whether you remove yourself or the situation changes, another crisis overtakes, or the situation calms down and turns into opportunities, every crisis eventually ends. As naive and dull as it might sound, the time after a crisis is the time before another crisis. I found it essential to find a way to digest the previous one, learn from it and prepare for the next one that will come. I often felt tired, both physically and emotionally, after working with a crisis, and I often struggled to function and readjust and I got sick every time. In my early years and after my first experiences with crises, I just moved on and did not take a breather or a break to work through things. It cost me personal friendships and it cost me much energy. I did this to avoid facing the consequences and do not have to reflect on whether I met my expectations, if I did what I could, and if I took all the right decisions - I knew the answer was no. I also avoided it because I wasn't sure if I could justify being in the so-called 'normality' again when the crisis was still going on - of course, I couldn't. I certainly didn't want to talk about it because nobody could even remotely relate to what I was going through, or so I thought. And yet, worst of all, I could not wait to go back to my familiar crisis setting. It was a tough and long road, which I learned is never over, to know when it comes to dealing with the consequences:

• Take a break and be honest about what you feel, think, and went through. Please find a way to express it; it will serve you as a mirror and reminder and share your vulnerability.
• Ask yourself why you want to work in crisis and what it means to you. Establish a purpose.
• Listen to your body and accept the signals it gives. Do not try to cover up your health issues with adrenaline.
• Do not expect that people who do not know your situation and view of the crisis, understand. Do not judge them when they cannot relate or do not show your expected reaction, compassion, or understanding. Also, do not judge them for having seemingly more ?banal? problems than the ones you had to work with.
• Accept that you can only do your best when you are at your best.
• Nurture social relationships as a source of energy and shift your focus from the crisis mindset by talking about other things.
• Do not fill the emptiness after what might have felt like a rewarding and meaningful experience with another kick, another crisis.
• Do not judge yourself for potential negative consequences that decisions you made might have had.

When boarding that plane back in Bangladesh, I thought that in my years of working with and in crises, I learned that we have many innate tools, skills, and potential to face these situations and successfully deal with the unknown. I also learned that being human makes handling crises the most difficult, yet it can also be our biggest asset. Right now, we are facing a situation that is a different crisis for everyone and brings completely unknown problems right to our doorstep. Yet, once we look beyond the fear, the complexity, and the uncertainties, there are many opportunities, and we have more than enough skills to deal with this crisis that concerns every one of us.

Thomas Lahnthaler?founded GroundworkAS in 2013 and is a managing partner. He is an experienced international facilitator, mediator, and crisis manager. Thomas led crisis teams in conflict and disaster contexts and worked later as a trainer and mentor of leaders and high-performance teams. He focuses on the design and facilitation of learning methodologies and leads the development of game-based learning solutions.