A Mental Challenge - Tor des Géants 2022 - A Personal Account

Once again our friend & colleague Shane O'Rourke undertook the mammoth feat of competing in the incredible Tor des Géants. This ultra run is not for the faint hearted. It is aptly named the Tour of Giants primarily for the mountains it takes in, however "Giants" is the only name you can give to the people who undertake this phenomenal personal challenge.

Shane, your account brings to life not simply the physical fitness it takes, but it highlights the mental strength, battle & ability it takes to compete and finish such an event. You have our complete admiration & pride. Well Done!

Shane's Personal Account - Tor des Géants 2022

"In February this year, I returned home from a trip to see an email from Tor which I was afraid to open! Despite swearing 2021 was my only Tor, I had entered the lottery for 2022 and was granted a place!"

I didn’t expect to get a place but now that I had one it was hard to turn down, so away we go again."

For anyone who hasn’t read my 2021 report here is a quick recap.

"350km and 28,000m of elevation gain and loss (3 times the height of Everest) in the Italian Alps, the never ending Tor des Geants (Tour of Giants) is regarded as the toughest running race in the world. It is called Tour of Giants after the 4 large mountains along the route, namely Mont Blanc, Gran Paradiso, Monte Rosa and the Matterhorn. Push your body to its limits and keep going for a long time after that, that is Tor. It is brutal, but every year more than half the runners make it around; so why not me?. The fastest runners will take 70 hours, but to simply complete this race is an enormous feat for anyone who makes it. The race is called Tor330 but everyone’s Garmin measures at least 350km when all the little turns are measured."

"150 hours or less non-stop, its more than twice as long and high as UTMB (Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc). 25 peaks over 2,000m, the highest is Col Loson at 3,300m (3 times the height of Carrauntoohil). It’s the equivalent of 35 Croagh Patricks in 6 days but at 4 times the altitude. Constant up or down, altitude, vast distances, steep rocky terrain, rain, snow, high winds, freezing at night, 30 degrees during the day, sleep deprivation and staying ahead of the cut-off times are the challenges. To keep going you must eat and drink all the time (and keep the food down), not get too hot or too cold, mind your feet and quads all the time and basically not fall apart or lose the will to continue. You must sleep enough to stay upright and not fall off the mountain, or make stupid mistakes like getting lost or losing stuff you need."

"So at 8am on Saturday 18th September 2021 I fell over the line after 140 hours of hiking up these peaks at various speeds, and flying or falling down them, with non-stop hallucinations in the second half of the race, various falls, getting lost a few times, losing both big toe-nails, losing my mind for about 6 hours, meeting loads of amazing people, eating very little and sleeping for about 6 hours total including in the forest/on the trail."

"Determination, despair, joy, pain, elation, confusion and crystal clear clarity all rolled into one in the space of 6 crazy days and nights. What an amazing race and place. Unbelievable scenery and people and the chance to repeat the toughest race on earth are the reasons for going back and wanting more. And winning a place in the lottery. To spend another week in Tor world. You only live once!"

Training

"Training followed the same routine as last year, but cutting back on the pointless miles, focusing on quality over quantity. Long days and downhills in Silvermines, fast runs and marathons in the forest and long uphill treadmill hikes with heavy pack. Thanks to Teresa and kids for the multiple drives up and down that same hill in Silvermines. We all know it very well now. Thanks to this my quads really held up well during the race."

Pre-Race

"I arrived into Chamonix on the Thursday evening before the start on Sunday, but when I see Mont Blanc ahead of me a dark cloud comes over me. I recognised this from before – I got the same feeling during the rainy first night of the 2011 UTMB. It’s a feeling of foreboding caused by knowledge of what lies ahead – and the pain associated with it. In a few days I have to climb these huge mountains and run down the other side of them. I battle this dark cloud as best I can for 3 days with positive thoughts until the race on Sunday – meaning my sleep is broken and not what I had hoped for in the lead up to the start. You could ask why re-enter a race that might cause such feelings and induce so much pain. The human body and mind is conditioned to quickly forget pain – this is how humans evolve and progress. This is how women give birth multiple times. And I wanted another notch on my belt. But when I saw the mountains again my body and mind knew what lay ahead and this triggered a defensive response."

Courmayeur to Valgrisenche 0-50km

"This dark cloud was still with me as I approached the start line in Courmayeur on Sunday 11th September despite multiple phone calls back home to try to relax and instill confidence. I knew it would take a lot for me to quit – I still had that absolute determination to keep moving forward no matter what. Keep knocking off the mountains one by one, day and night. I have the familiarity of what happens at the life-bases and refuges as well as the knowledge that I won’t be eating much of the food, so I am armed with a few time-saving tips I learned from last year."

?"I edge towards the front third of the runners, knowing there will be a bottleneck for the first climb, so changing position won’t really happen in the first 3 hours. With 1,112 starters its 400 more than last year, in the non-covid world. The Pirates of the Caribbean music starts and I have a brief feeling of exhilaration as the gun goes off but nothing to what it should have been. I am now in another world where time stands still and all that matters is the next climb, the next descent, the next checkpoint, the next life base, the next piece of food/drink, the next sleep, the next day, the next night. Mind your legs and feet, mind your gear, stay in a group if you can, don’t get lost, keep your mind strong and keep moving."

"A large bottleneck forms at the start of Col d’Arp – and a conga line forms which is hundreds of metres long twisting up the mountain. Everyone must go at the same pace – there is nowhere to pass, and no point in trying. Col d’Arp is a 1,347m climb out of Courmayeur – twice the height of Croagh Patrick, and the first of 3 big climbs in this leg."

"I am moving fine but in a constant battle with negative thoughts. We all make the fast descent into La Thuile, which is in party mood with bands out playing in the streets as we run through. Everyone is on a one-way road to extreme fatigue but no-one cares right now. I start the second climb in the same depressed mood and notice several runners coming the wrong way back down the mountain – pulling out of the race after 3-4 hours. I noticed this last year as well – some people are just in too far over their heads and at least have the sense to recognise it now rather than prolong the pain. It is 28 degrees – the hottest day of the Tor and several other people drop out due to heat stroke / dehydration. I am looking for any little wins to keep my mood up and one hiker sees my name on my bib and says “Good job Shane” – which I was delighted to hear. Maybe I am doing a good job? I’m moving well, I don’t care about the heat, I’ve trained well, I’m an experienced operator. I keep repeating all this as I go up the climb. Its dark as I get to the base of the 3rd climb – I know this is super steep and tough but I slog it out. At the top I say a little prayer at the memorial to the Chinese runner Yang Yuan who died here in 2013 – I ask him to give me strength for the days ahead."

"But as I arrive into the first life base at Valgrisenche I am in a bad way mentally and looking for help. I try to sleep but there is no chance. I call Teresa at around 2am Irish time and she gives me a good talking to – in a nice way – saying “you have to start the next climb and see where it gets you – then call me in the morning and we`ll re-assess”."

Valgrisenche to Cogne 50-106km

"I leave the life base and head up the tough Fenetre climb to 2,840m. I know I can’t be on my own here if I’m to stay in the race and get behind an Italian and an Australian, hoping I can stay with their pace. Luckily, I can and also luckily the Italian is in front, with the Australian second and then me. The Italians generally don’t talk English but I know this so it’s the Australian I’m interested in, a young enough guy called Mark Gordon from Melbourne. I tell him this is my second Tor and he is surprised to hear of my mental struggles but I give him the full sob story about my race so far – explaining my fear for what lies in the days and nights ahead. I said I promised my wife I would do this climb and then call her again. We get chatting about lots of things which distracts me for a few hours, for which I am grateful. I lose Mark on the descent and my mind spirals back into a negative tailspin again as I approach Rhemes-Notre-Dame. I try to sleep, unsuccessfully, and call Teresa again on Monday morning. I tell her that I have come to terms with pulling out – I just don’t know how to do it. She says “you’ll regret it Shane”. She knows the chords to pull to keep me going and to coax a response out of me. We again agree that I`ll do the next climb. This is the last time we`ll speak until Friday. But even as I hang up I want to call her back and explain to her how I have agreed with myself that’s its ok to pull out, the pain is just at an unacceptable level. I sit on a stairs on my own for 5 minutes with my head in my hands. I say to myself “Tough shit Shane – you got yourself into this – there’s only one way out – up that mountain”. So I start climbing again."

"I again try to stay in a group but get no English speakers this time. I find it hard to stay with the Italians and French but battle to stay with them. My mood is beginning to change. And my legs are beginning to adapt to the endless climbs. The climbing is becoming easier. I know that the next climb, Loson, is the toughest in the race – if I get over that, the hardest third of the race will be behind me. With this in mind my mood is much better as I go up Loson to 3,300m – it is still painful to stay in a group but I’m not losing ground. At some point up the 5 hour Loson climb I am gone past the crisis mood level and resolve that I will finish the race one way or the other. I am now helping other people as they follow me. On the long descent after Loson I am more than 100kms into the race and finally fully into the race. Now the experience gained from last year is an advantage and no longer a hindrance. I know what to expect and am ready for everything. Plus, I know that the next leg is the easiest and will get me close to halfway, so no point turning back after that."

Cogne to Donnas 106-151km

"From this point on I start to accelerate – my brother tells me I pass 250 people from here to the finish. But there is still a long way to go.

"This section is one long climb to Champorcher and then a 26km descent (from 2,827m to 330m), and is the most enjoyable section. It sounds crazy that you can be descending for 16 miles. You are tempted to speed up on the descent but you have to mind your quads and feet for later. You have to take it slow, particularly at the top or you risk falling off. I look forward to the unbelievable scenery I remember from last year – the huge boulder fields and waterfalls, and the rope bridges that collapse down in the middle as you cross them. I know a few people that would scream upon stepping on these bridges."

Karma & Gratitude

"As I passed through a little village before Donnas I kneel down and shake the hand of an old lady out cheering in a wheelchair. She must have been 100 years old. Her relations around her are incredibly thankful that I had taken the time to stop and acknowledge her but fair play to her for coming out to cheer on the Geants as they passed by. The good karma between us was more valuable to me than it was to her."

Training, Mindset & Wisdom?

"The Tor des Geants sounds impossible to most people but to an experienced ultrarunner it is not (once you get your head right). You build up your endurance slowly over the summer, with long mountain runs, and shorter runs with heavy pack. You build resistance in your quads and feet to the constant bounding of the descents, by doing repeated long descents on road. This means you spend most of the summer with sore quads and feet. Then tempo and fast interval work (with sore quads) improves your fitness and breathing for the altitude. None of this training is easy and some of it is hard. For one of the long days (10 hours) in the Silvermines it was 28 degrees and no cloud – I got my water from the mountain streams. The training builds resilience in your mind that you can keep going for long periods. You then break the race down into each of the 7 segments and you take them one at a time, knowing that you will get a good rest after each. You know you have the experience to deal with problems as they arrive. I was in the wrong mindset at the start but now that I am passed that I can relax and enjoy. Don’t push too hard, just keep chipping away at the miles. Remember that you are part of a select few who are lucky enough to take part, so enjoy your week in Tor world. Keep that yellow ramp at the finish at the front of your mind and you will get there."

Donnas to Gressoney 151-207km

"I was determined to treat myself to an ice cream and was on the lookout for a gelateria on the way out of Donnas. When I spotted one, I went in and straight to the top of the queue – everyone in there laughed as I took out my credit card and got the biggest cone I could buy! – great value at €4.50."

"I have the feeling that failure this year would make 2021 also feel like a failure, even though this is not true. After last year I feel that I have something to live up to. I was lucky in the end last year (even though I deserved a bit of luck). Now I intend to use my experience to maximise my chances and do as well as possible. So the main thing in this second half of the race is to run or hike well when I am moving, but to stop for good short sleeps if I can every 12 hours. I know that mad things can happen (or seem like they are happening) during sleep deprivation – I know I must try to minimise the occurrence of these things."

?"Refugio Coda is 1,894 vertical metres and 16km up out of Donnas and it is the official half way point in the race. I purposely wait for a group to leave a checkpoint so that I am not on my own – and then end up leading that group up the mountain. Which makes a change from a few days ago. Most time is lost at checkpoints – so I cut down on time spent in these and move from group to group gaining places. The descent after Barma is a real mindbender in the dark – with sleep deprivation everything looks the same and you think you are going in circles."

Gressoney to Cretaz 207-248km

"I can now enjoy the scenery, the company of the runners and the hospitality of the volunteers. I take the pain when it comes, whether it’s a little niggle or something more. In a race of this length you know that pain will come and go – unless it’s something significant it usually won’t last for more than a few hours. I have a small pharmacy worth of painkillers to dull the pain when I need them."

?"I am not too stressed. I am sleep deprived and hallucinating but not exhausted – my mind is still sharp and I make the right decisions. Hallucinations happen because your brain is tired and deprived of oxygen, as it goes mainly to your legs, and as a result your brain is unable to process the signals from your optic nerves. Which means rocks are interpreted as sheep, and little rocks are interpreted as insects. Strange looking trees look like people. Forest cabins are interpreted as the same cabin you passed a few miles back, making you think you are going around in circles. This is where experience kicks in on a long ultra. Experience tells you that you have nothing to fear - you just have to keep moving forward in the right direction. Every step takes you closer to the end."

?"You know that you must eat and drink something. My diet consisted of chocolate, oranges, bananas, a little cake, coke, my running fuel Tailwind and gels. You know that you will get some sleep one way or the other. You are happy in the knowledge that your legs will transport you around this amazing place, and you will end up in Courmayeur sometime at the weekend eating pizza and wondering what happened."

Kindness & Courage

?"Somewhere around Champuloc I feel a blister on my small toe and stop to take a look. I take out a safety pin to burst it. I don’t get too many blisters compared to most runners and my tactics are fairly simple when I do – burst them with a pin and wrap them in tape. As I burst this one an old French hiker is going the other way and stops to help me. He hasn’t a word of English. He holds out my baby toe as I wrap it in tape, and then helps me put the sock back on without messing up the tape.

"He then grabs me by the head and starts shaking my head, trying to impart some courage (or sense) into me. I stand up, shake his hand and he starts shouting....

"Courage, Courage!!!"."

"At Champuloc checkpoint I asked for a bed and was told it would be a 15 minute wait. While I waited, I started trying to eat. 10 minutes later the volunteer said I could sleep in the medical bed beside the doctors desk. Grand I said and I lie down. As soon as I lie down the doctors radio starts blaring away so I picked up the bed and walked out of the hall with the bed, going anywhere else quiet. The volunteer saw me and stopped me. I got angry with him and told him to move the radio. He hadn’t a word of English. I realised this was all a waste of time and energy – I can sleep in the forest if I have to, so packed up my stuff and out the door."

"Cretaz is the 5-star life base in the big school with loads of room for everyone and everything. I found a nice bed out on its own at the far end of the hall and went off to sleep for 30 minutes."

"But when I wake up I didn’t know who I was or what was going on.

This happens due to lack of sleep."

"I recognised this and knew I just needed to go about a few things and move around. So I went out to the canteen to try to eat and then washed my teeth. It slowly came back to me what I was doing and realised what was going on – I was two legs from home. I wasn’t going to be stopped now."

Cretaz to Ollomont 248-298km

"There is only so much you can write here about this race – this is the mother and father of all races. Things happen in this race that you forget, or that you remember in a few days time and laugh about. Things happen in this race that you want to forget. You are not a normal human in this race. The volunteers understand this (even the young ones), and they all treat you incredibly well, despite your crankiness. They treat you like a child – they understand that you can only think about the most basic things. You can just about think for yourself. Most of your blood, and therefore oxygen, is diverted away from your brain and to your legs to keep them moving. They are all incredibly patient, especially with the ones who can’t speak Italian. They understand that the runners are liable to do random things that make no sense. Like last year when I also forgot who I was and didn’t know what the yellow flags were for. They knew I needed sleep and laid me down on a steel table, where I started dreaming about weddings I had been to years ago."

"Runners in the second half of this race are like zombies that don’t eat people.

"They know that they have to keep moving forward, they know that they have to stay on the right path. They don’t know a whole lot else. The lucky ones who finish are the ones who forget who they are and set whatever is working in their brains on a relentless drive to Courmayeur, and think about little else for the last 2-3 days of this race. Nothing can stop the zombie march."

?"This is the most remote section, with no civilisation at all except in a few isolated valleys. Totally wild and remote with ibex, lynx and some of Europes last remaining wolfpacks living in the area. But I wasn’t interested in wolves, I was now in full zombie mode to get to Ollomont as soon as possible, knowing that once there I was one leg from home."

?"The last life base is Ollomont. Last year I made no attempt to sleep here – this time I did try to sleep but no good – I knew I could probably sleep at the refuge on the next climb Champillion."

Ollomont to Courmayeur 298-349km

"So off I went up the second last climb, moving quickly. They had some nice spicy soup in Champillion and were a bit shocked to hear how little sleep I had so far and showed me to the most comfortable sleep room yet. Totally dark and quiet – I went to sleep for 60 minutes. That is one bed I did not want to get out of. I resolved that I wasn’t going to waste all my hard work now, lying in a bed, so out I went at 2.45am on the Friday, up and over the top of the climb. Down the long descent and it was bright when I got to Bosses. While jogging to Bosses I had plenty of micro-sleeps – where you sleep for a few seconds while moving and then wake just before you fall. These are ok when on a long flat road but dangerous on exposed climbs. French runner Melanie from Marseilles and I were laughing at this as we stumbled along. “Where are you from?” I said. “Fraunce” she said. “Fraance” I said? “No, Fraunce” she said. What a bogger she was talking to."

"I didn’t hang around in Bosses too long and started the last climb to Malatra. Knowing where I had gotten lost here last year, I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. Another short break then at the Frasatti Refuge. A guy puked in his pack here because he didn’t want to puke on the floor. Myself and another guy looked at each other. “You should have puked on the floor” I said. Out of there and up and over the famous last col Malatra."

?"I crossed Malatra 12 hours before a snowstorm covered the climb in a foot of snow, preventing 187 runners from crossing the col. They all had to hunker down in Frasatti during the storm. These people were desperately unlucky – after a huge effort for 130 hours they were unable to complete the last 20k through no fault of their own. They were rightly all awarded finishers medals on Sunday.

"I kept moving quickly through the last 2 checkpoints. I wondered would the volunteers at the last checkpoint recognise me from last year, if they did they’d be out with the straight jacket. As it goes they didn’t, so its on to the final steep 5km descent to Courmayeur. This is the one that all finishers dream of. All the descents before this are painful and slow knowing there is always another one to come, but for this the pain is overwhelmed by the satisfaction and pride of knowing you are almost there, in my case a 2x time Geant. You float down the mountain on a bed of air. Every switchback takes me closer to the holy grail. It is all worth it now, all the training, the early mornings, all the pain and stress, worries about injuries, huge blisters, food I can’t eat, freezing cold, boiling hot. All the worries about finishing are gone, you have repeated the Tor des Geants, you are in a very exclusive club. You hear the sounds of the town below, all you have to do is stay upright and you will make it. That yellow ramp is within reach."

?"This final descent is my best bit of actual running in the race. For some reason lots of people are trying to steal an extra position or two on this descent as we approach the town. Why?, I don’t know. – what is the difference between 206th, 207th, 208th etc.. Surely it would make better sense for everyone to hold onto their position instead of trying to steal someone else’s. I am descending ok but not pushing it as two Spanish guys approach. They are running together – so there is no real reason for them to pass me out – I am going at good pace and between us we won’t lose our places. But they come past me and I decide I’m not going to let them get away, despite the pain in my toe. I decide I’m going to stay with them for 5 minutes and see what happens. 10 minutes later we are still going down the switchbacks in forest and I can hear them muttering away to each other in Spanish, probably hoping this stupid Paddy would be gone by now. As we get near the base of the forest they slow down and beckon me to push past – which I do and leave them behind."

"I take a wrong turn in the town but it doesn’t matter – I know the right direction and the streets well enough to get back on track. Experience pays. I slow to a walk 100 metres before the finish and feel enormous pride at having made it. I walk slowly up the ramp and create an enormous racket at the top – shouting and roaring the place down. I had earned it."

"I finished at 4pm on the Friday in 207th place in a time of 124.04.31. Out of 1,112 starters. 516 starters didn’t make it. An improvement of 16 hours on last year. I was 3rd out of the 9 Irish starters – 5 of them didn’t make it."

"Obviously I was delighted to spend the Friday evening and night relaxing in the town and hotel and not stuck up on the mountain in a snowstorm."

"I knew beforehand the importance of the mental side of things in ultrarunning and battled my negative mindset as much as could until I got to a point in the race where I had covered enough ground to allow my mind to justify the pain and effort needed to get to the finish. The mind controls everything. So the first 100k was a battle – my mind said why are you going through this again and how can I stop you. Thanks to Teresa for playing a key role here – I needed an outside voice to keep me ticking over long enough to get far enough to turn the corner into a positive mindset. Once I could feel my legs adapting to the climbs I used my experience and training to move quickly after that."

?"Thanks also to Aileen for endless physio on my hip – as usual it all came good during the race and I could run injury free. Thanks to JJ and Mam for bringing me to the airport and Barry, Padraic and everyone else for your messages of support."

?"A two-time Geant should be enough for anyone – there is only one other Irish runner to have repeated it and he is a pro. But what an amazing place in northern Italy. We plan to oneday return and go up some of these climbs with the family. Whether we do or not, these mountains will be in my dreams for a while now and the lessons from this run will stay with me for a lifetime."

Shane O'Rourke.