Mental Breakthrough! How to Feel Enthused and Optimistic About Public Speaking

A Lesson No Longer Needed

Have you ever felt you’re different or something is wrong with you because you get stressed out, fearful, or feel sick when you have to give a presentation to a group?

It’s normal to have these reactions to speaking.

Why?

Because human beings are ‘wired’ to feel intimidated, or even afraid, to stand in front of a group.

There is no scientific proof of this,?but author Scott Berkun makes a strong case for it in his book, “Confessions of a Public Speaker.’ He points out our earliest ancestors didn’t have access to tools and weapons, they had to stay in packs in order to survive.

The individual who was separated from the pack was alone, without a weapon, out in the open, and was looked at by the eyes of surrounding predators.

What is public speaking?

It is an act of being alone, without a weapon, out in the open, and being looked at by many eyes.

At a base, animal level, your brain is sending you the message, “Hey! Dude! You’re in danger here!”

How to Quiet the Voice of Fear

This lesson served early humans well. It kept them out of danger.

But, like a 2-year old child who learns irons can be hot and you shouldn’t touch them, a lesson can outlive its usefulness. (If you’re not familiar with this reference,?click here .)

Being afraid of public speaking doesn’t serve us well in our highly connected world. Fortunately, we have a higher brain that can step in and quiet the animal brain.

Here are three insights to help quiet the voice of fear and feel confident the next time you speak:

1. People WANT You to Succeed

Think about the last time you physically went to an event where there were speakers. I realize it might have been quite a while, but think back.

While you were traveling to the event, did you at any point think, “I hope this is a terrible event! I hope the speakers are lousy, they don’t give me any useful ideas or insights, and they waste my time!”

Did you have any thoughts like that?

No?

Of course, you didn’t.

Guess what?

Neither do the people sitting in front of you when you speak. They have busy lives and many other choices of what they could be doing rather than listening to you speak.

For this reason, they want you to succeed.

When you’re preparing to go on stage, think like an audience member. Remind yourself they are there to see you succeed because if you do, they will have gained benefits that can improve their lives.

2. It’s Not About YOU

One of the most valuable early lessons I learned about speaking is one I share with all of my clients…

You have to have an ego to stand in front of a group and believe you have something important to say.

However, you must always remember this:

If you had a last-minute problem and couldn’t speak at an event,?it’s going on without you. It would be an annoyance to the organizers, but the show would go on.

This was a revelation. It’s embarrassing to write this but, for the first seven years of my speaking career, I focused on my appearance, my rehearsed and staged delivery techniques, and my ability to memorize every word of my talks.

Do you notice the most frequent word used in the previous paragraph?

It’s “my.”

As in, “me,” “mine,” “I” — Look at me! it’s all about me!

Thankfully, I had excellent mentors who whipped me into shape and reminded me about the purpose of every speech — to provide benefit and value to the audience.

This was freeing because it allowed me to stop thinking about being perfect, or worry about clothes and hair, and instead be a more conversational communicator focused on the listener.

Another thought for you before you step on stage or before a camera is, “They’re not going to remember how I dressed, how my hair looked, how my hands moved, or if I said every word perfectly. They?will?remember how my stories and ideas made them feel and think differently.”

3. YOU Were Asked to Speak For a Reason

With few exceptions, there are hundreds or thousands of speakers who can give a talk about your topic.

When you are asked to speak at an event, there are specific reasons why. The meeting planners saw something in your perspective, insights, and style and believe you are the best choice for their group.

Don’t complicate the issue. If the voice of self-doubt or fear creeps into your consciousness, remind it of this fact:

“I?was chosen for a reason. The group sees value in what I have to say. So, Voice of Doubt, please leave. I’m busy and I have a speech to prepare for.

“I’m sure you’ll try to come back as soon as I step off the stage or away from the camera after the speech to tell me what I did wrong. But, I’ll deal with you then.”

When you’re getting ready to speak to a group, and you feel doubt, insecurity, or fear, remember these three points.

I hope you’ve picked up I try to have fun with this because, in the end, our speeches are not going to create world peace or inspire massive global change.

What they can do is provide help to people who are struggling, give insights for those who are feeling challenged, or entertain individuals who just need a break.

Those are good enough reasons for you to manage your fear and give your best effort every time you speak.

Pick Up More Keys to Business Success

Would you like to save time, frustration, and energy which other people have expended to succeed in their businesses?

If so, join me for my weekly Livestream program, “3 Questions to Better Business.” Every Friday, I interview successful entrepreneurs and business owners from various fields.

2021 interviewees included a 2012 Olympian and a New York Times bestselling author who worked closely in the improv world with people like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. 2022 promises to bring many more outstanding individuals who will provide their unique perspective on business success.

To drop in on our interviews, join me on Facebook Live, Linked In Live, or YouTube Live every Friday at 4:00 pm (Eastern) / 1:00 pm (Pacific). No need to sign-up, just show up and enjoy the presentation. You’re also welcome to join us for questions by logging in to the show at?LiveWithSpeakingCPR.com .