Men's Reluctance to Seek Suppport

Men’s Reluctant to Seek Support: 

By Dr. Kelli Palfy

Research shows that male sexual abuse occurs more commonly among infants, youth and even adults than ever previously been suspected. Despite our increased awareness of this, disproportionately few males still never seek support. They remain silent. In their minds, even as young boys many believe they need to protect their families from information they believe would be "too hard for them to handle".  They often cope through acting out, isolating, numbing out, engaging in hyper-masculinity, misusing substances, engaging in sexual promiscuity or eventually becoming first class students or workaholics.  

My new book: MEN TOO: UNSPOKEN TRUTHS ABOUT MALE SEXUAL ABUSE discusses why males so seldom discuss their abuse. It is written for male survivors, their supporters and helping professionals. It is an educational, honest, heart-wrenching look at the stories of 13 male sexual abuse victims and why they never said anything, often for years.  It is written from their perspective, but with the insight I gained when working as a police officer investigating sex crimes committed against children, and with the knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained as a researcher and as a trained trauma therapist. 

Through their narrative accounts, this book offers:

?          Male victims - Healing through recognition of both their positions as victims and understanding the deep impact of their sexual abuse. 

?          Parents and teachers - Strategies to identify common, yet sophisticated predatory grooming tactics, plus ideas on how to better protect children from potential abusers. 

?          First responders and helping professionals - Information to better recognize the signs of traumatized children and adults, examples of male abuse with detailed explanations of who their offenders were,  when it began, how it was maintained and why the victims remained silent for so long. 

Studies indicate that males generally need to hear other people talking about an issue to know that it's ok to do the same. MEN TOO: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse is based on my doctoral research and highlights the many unique and complex barriers boys and men face when considering disclosing, and what stops them.

For the sake of the boys and men, who need help - discussions about male sexual abuse need to increase. PLEASE START TALKING ABOUT THIS !!!!