Men’s Fire Circle: When Men Came Together to End the Gents-Ladies Segregation

In public, we want to project a gender-segregation appearance but privately, we are all human. Has it ever occurred to you that while public facilities often segregate ‘gents’ and ‘ladies,’ at home, everyone shares the same toilet?

This simple yet eye-opening observation underscores the shared humanity that transcends gender differences - a stark reminder of subconscious biases society has instilled in us for generations. Yet the truth is that our common experiences and challenges should unite us rather than divide us.

This reality came alive recently at what is now known as #TheMensFireCircle, organized by KenGen Kenya in collaboration with Radio Africa Group , shining a ray of hope and enlightenment, toward addressing the bifurcated challenges faced by men in today's world. Held under the visionary leadership of KenGen Managing Director and CEO, Eng. Peter Njenga and Patrick Quarcoo , the dynamic CEO of Radio Africa Group, this event was a clear departure from the typical men’s conferences that often played out as mere rhetoric rather than putting forward actionable insights.

I was privileged to moderate one of the sessions and picked some life-long lessons that frankly speaking, I wish not to keep to myself but share with you here today in the hope that this will inspire deeper and more meaningful discussions on the role of man in the modern world.

A Confluence of Thought Leaders

This inaugural Men’s Fire Circle was headlined by an impressive lineup of speakers who brought diverse perspectives and unmatched wisdom to the table. Eng. Njenga opened the conference by highlighting the role of leadership and social responsibility in fostering a progressive society. Njenga’s insights were grounded in his extensive experience in the energy sector, where he has consistently advocated for sustainable development and corporate responsibility.

Beyond his professional background, the versatile electrical engineer also heavily relied on his strong Christian faith and deep family background to illustrate his contributions during the half-day gathering of men.

For his part, Charles Murito , Google’s Regional Director for Sub-Saharan Africa and a key figure on Absa's Board provided a global perspective on leadership and innovation. Murito's journey through the tech and finance sectors brought out the importance of adaptability and forward-thinking in navigating the rapidly changing landscape of modern business. His emphasis on digital transformation and ethical leadership resonated deeply with the audience, highlighting how technological advancements can be harnessed to drive positive change.

But one of the most captivating speakers of the day was the one and only Nzioka Waita , MGH , a strategic leader at Momentum Africa , who brought a wealth of experience from his roles in both government and the private sector. Waita’s candid discussion about the principles of values and discipline provided a robust framework for understanding how personal integrity and professional ethics can guide men through the complexities of modern life. His reflections on failure and the lack of regret for past decisions offered a powerful narrative of resilience and self-acceptance.

Peketsa Mangi , General Manager of Geothermal Development at KenGen, shared his expertise in the energy sector, emphasizing the critical role of sustainable practices in ensuring a prosperous future. Mangi’s focus on environmental stewardship, community support, and innovation underscored the need for leaders to balance progress with responsibility, setting a standard for future generations.

Describing himself as one who leads a team of people who are sometimes regarded by society as ‘failures’ yet go on to create lasting impact, Alex Nyaga , the Group CEO of Parapet Group and a dedicated Rotarian, spoke passionately about the importance of community service and the impact of giving back. Nyaga’s contributions to the dialogue highlighted how business success can be leveraged to support community development, advocating for a model of leadership that is deeply rooted in social responsibility.

Also, from KenGen, the man responsible for the investments docket, Paul Wambugu , expanded the conversation to include financial literacy and wealth creation. He emphasized the importance of strategic investments and savings as pathways to financial independence.

Wambugu championed various investment vehicles such as bonds, stocks, and venture capital, which allow individuals to grow their wealth without requiring daily oversight. He discouraged reliance on gambling and betting as financial strategies, noting that these are often traps leading to financial ruin rather than wealth creation. Instead, he urged men to focus on establishing solid systems and structures that attract investors, highlighting that investors look for sound business models and reliable systems rather than just ideas.

Henry Ithiami , KenGen’s Blue Energy Patron, brought a philosophical dimension to the conference by discussing the journey of life. He reminded the audience that “we are all part of a continuum” with many people ahead of us, behind us, and at the same point as us. He encouraged men to seek communal support and shared wisdom rather than isolating themselves and believing their problems were unique. Ithiami’s insights underscored the importance of learning from others’ experiences and the value of solidarity in overcoming personal and professional challenges.

Navigating the Complex Challenges of Modern Manhood

Central to the Men’s Fire Circle was a deep exploration of the challenges that men face in today’s society. The discussions provided a comprehensive look at the pressures and expectations that shape the male experience, offering strategies and support for overcoming these obstacles and fostering personal and communal growth.

Eng. Njenga’s reflections on the pressure to excel professionally while maintaining a balanced personal life struck a chord with many of the men present. He pointed out that the relentless pursuit of career success often comes at the expense of personal well-being and family relationships.

This dichotomy is particularly pronounced in the corporate world, where long hours and high stakes can lead to burnout and strained relationships. Njenga advocated for a holistic approach to success, where professional achievements are complemented by strong personal connections and self-care. His call for balance and integration highlighted the importance of prioritizing mental and emotional health alongside career aspirations.

The Weight of Societal Expectations

Waita’s candid remarks about societal pressures revealed the often-unspoken burdens that men carry. From a young age, men are frequently subjected to rigid expectations regarding success, strength, and emotional stoicism.

These societal norms can create an environment where men feel compelled to conform to ideals that may not align with their authentic selves, leading to stress, anxiety, and a sense of inadequacy. Waita’s emphasis on the importance of values and discipline provided a pathway for men to navigate these pressures by staying true to their principles and defining success on their own terms. His personal anecdotes about embracing challenges and learning from every experience offered a reassuring reminder that growth often comes through perseverance and self-discovery.

The Role of Mentorship and Community Support

Murito’s insights into the benefits of having role models and mentors underscored the value of guidance and shared wisdom in navigating life’s complexities. He pointed out that mentorship can provide a crucial support system, helping men to develop their skills, build confidence, and make informed decisions.

Nyaga, for his part with his deep commitment to community service, emphasized the importance of collective support and the impact of giving back. He brought out his experiences with Rotary International illustrating how community involvement can foster a sense of purpose and connection, reinforcing the idea that true leadership extends beyond personal achievements to encompass a commitment to societal well-being.

A significant and recurring theme throughout the conference was the call for men to embrace vulnerability. Traditionally, men are expected to be stoic, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved, which can inhibit open communication about their struggles and feelings.

The Men’s Fire Circle challenged these norms by encouraging men to be more open and authentic. Discussions highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence and the ability to express vulnerability as strengths rather than weaknesses. This shift towards a more solid understanding of masculinity was seen as essential for building stronger, more resilient men who are better equipped to handle life’s challenges and form meaningful relationships.

A Spiritual and Ethical Perspective

Pastor Ambrose Nyangau of Parklands Baptist Church added a spiritual dimension to the conference with his insights on the biblical perspective of men’s roles. He described men as the “head” and women as the “body,” a metaphor that emphasizes leadership and action.

According to Nyangau, men should lead with vision and wisdom, while women play a crucial role in implementing these visions. His teachings highlighted the importance of mutual respect and cooperation in relationships, advocating for a balanced partnership where both genders contribute their unique strengths. Pastor Nyangau’s emphasis on attentive listening, clear communication, and the need for men to be present and engaged provided a valuable ethical framework for personal and professional conduct.

Throughout the Men’s Fire Circle, a crucial message was the need to move beyond the adversarial narrative that often characterizes discussions about gender roles. Rather than viewing the empowerment of men as a zero-sum game that comes at the expense of women, the conference emphasized a more inclusive approach.

The focus was on empowering men to become better partners, fathers, and community members, thereby contributing to a more balanced and harmonious society. The speakers repeatedly stressed that fostering the growth and well-being of men does not diminish the importance of women’s achievements and struggles. Instead, it creates a more supportive environment where both genders can thrive together.

As the Karen sun set in the yonder of the Ngong hills, one thing was for sure, that the Men’s Fire Circle was not just a conference but a call to action. By addressing the unique challenges that men face and providing a platform for meaningful dialogue, the event set the stage for not only building strong leaders but introducing well-rounded men into the equation for the good of society.

Ends…