Menopause - where did my words go?

I have started this article about 9 times in the past few years but my courage has failed me on each and every occasion. The last time I put fingers to keyboard was just after International Women's Day where the theme was choose to challenge and I thought I should challenge myself to share my lived-experience of peri-menopause and menopause. I didn't succeed. However this week a British television presenter @Davina McCall produced the following TV programme and I thought if not now, when? https://www.channel4.com/programmes/davina-mccall-sex-myths-and-the-menopause/on-demand/71025-001 (If accessible to you in your region, watch it. All of you. Watch it.)

For me, peri-menopause and menopause has sucked. The worse period of my life in terms of health and well-being. I grew up in a time where Cissie & Ada - creations of two British comedians Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough - when discussing women's issues only ever mouthed the words and nodded knowingly. The "change" was never discussed nor taught as school, unlike every other part of what my body did or was going to do. It wasn't widely discussed or acknowledged later in my life, either. In fact finding quality science-led information and educating oneself about menopause has been patchy at best. I can recommend Liz Earle's book "The Good Menopause Guide" which women should read in their 30s rather than in the 40s, or later.

I won't bore you, reader with my experience of hot flashes that come on unannounced and suddenly made me look like I had just completed the Great North Run (not great in the middle of a client meeting) or having not had a decent night's sleep in years or going from having a waist to looking like I was 9 months pregnant (without any change in my diet or exercise routine) - and still won't shift with diet and exercise, yet. Nor, the battle with my G.P. regarding HRT. All that is what is as part of menopause, unfortunately. What I want to talk about and links to my professional life is how my brain stopped doing what it had done for the past 45 odd years. The single biggest challenge and what I have struggled with the most and is still extraordinarily frustrating is my brain fog.

I have always been able to speak fluently. I have always been able to access the precise and exact word for what I wanted to say. I have also always been able to remember details from years ago. A face, a name. A skill that is essential in my line of work. For the past 3 years it has been like the dictionary and memory in my brain had a "computer says no" moment. Constantly. Which has meant I started to say "er" a lot. Or I go round the houses to make a short point or even more concerning I say the wrong word, because it is the one that is offered up by my brain even though I (sort-of) know it isn't the right word. Or I totally forget something or someone.

I did think perhaps that this was to do with possibly a more worrying or serious mental condition such as early on-set dementia but thankfully it isn't. No, it's the menopause.

My experience can't be unique. I can not be the only woman who is battling this professional "incompetence." So, what to do about it? Well, first we need to acknowledge that it is a problem and that's the reason why I am writing this article. We need to be confident in speaking about this. We need to be brave and vulnerable and share because if not now, when? And if we don't what example are we setting for those coming after us? We shouldn't mouth the words in shame like Cissie and Ada. We should share that our lack of words or memory isn't related to incompetence or ignorance. It is because our oestrogen and testosterone have buggered off and ain't coming back without help and intervention. And most of all we should treat ourselves with kindness and offer a helping hand to others who may be experiencing similar symptoms, regardless of gender and age.