Menhood!! What it is NOT.......

I was around 10 Years old when my father dropped me off to take a bus 
on a long 13 hours journey from my village to Ajmer, to be in a hostel 
for my class 6th as we did not had a good school in our village. He 
ensured to make me sit in front seat just adjacent to driver 
(requesting driver to take care of me until destination and beyond 
with helping me get an auto to reach school) which had a rear view 
mirror, and to my surprise he kept his tears hidden until bus left 
but they oozed out the moment bus was in moving. On seeing his tears,
I also used to have my eyes wet

Fast forward 7 years, college days were full of camaraderie and deep 
friendship, especially with other hostelers. ?We used to get in to 
fights (literal hand fights) for friends without even knowing the 
reason of fight. The only thing we were not supposed to do was to 
cry even when we were hit badly.

Fast forward 3 years, having joined Officers Training Academy, Chennai, 
we had Ustad’s (instructors), who were ruthlessly strict to ensure 
that we pick up physical fitness, discipline and mental robustness 
in 2-3 months and any of our attempt to show weakness invited their 
fury with punishment accompanied with comments like don’t be a 
CUNT (Literally that’s what it is while you undergo officers 
training for armed forces) (Pardon me for its usage but the intent
is to be genuine).

Fast forward 2 Years, I am in Commando School, Belgam and the sheer
pain of training that is most ruthless, extensive, and both 
physically and mentally draining, especially when they keep you
Prisoner of War(PoW) for 4 days in the last week of 42 days of 
training was unparallel for even the toughest and yet you got to
keep pains suppressed without any getting sign of it.
?

Fast forward 7 years, I am Deputy Leader of Mt. Everest Expedition
and for the training undergoing Siachen Glacier acclimatization 
in peak December winters at an altitude of around 20k ft. with
-56 degree temperature at night. Followed by expedition itself 
of around 2 months through Kathmandu, Beijing, Shigatse, ?Gyantse,
New Tingri, Everest base camp and beyond. Atleast 100 occasions
in these 1.5 years where each one of my team member motivated
the other in his bad time to be Man and get going while difficult
time shall pass.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fast forward 17 Years, Now it is 2023 and I am 42+ Years old. 
A lot has changed in last few years and specially in last few 
months of most trying times personally. I normally am sitting
between my daughter and son watching movie in PVR and in the
emotionally taxing scenes, it has become a norm that my 
son/daughter wipes off my tears and me theirs. When there 
is National Anthem/patriotic song is being played, everytime 
by default I have goosebumps and eyes wet. It is so normal for 
my Son/Daughter to kiss me and say I love you and vice versa. 
What has also changed is that now it is so normal for me to say 
with moist eye to my Father & Mother “I love you” (Infact my eyes
are wet while writing these last few sentences).

With age I have come to realize that Menhood is not suppressing 
your emotions but to show them with pride.

You come face to face with me to look in to my eyes and will still 
see the aggression and machismo, if for you that is Menhood. But 
someday like me, you shall also realize that suppressing emotions
and show of empathy for others is disillusionment of Menhood.

Fate of time: Few days from now my son will be going to hostel 
to pursue his B.Tech (CS) and this time, we both don’t have to 
hide our tears and expression of love in pursuit of fake Menhood...