Men need to cry more.

A good cry can also be a good way to kill bacteria. Tears contain the fluid lysozyme — also found in human milk, semen, mucus and saliva — that can kill 90 to 95 percent of all bacteria in just five to 10 minutes. A 2011 study published in the journal Food Microbiology found tears have such strong antimicrobial powers they can even protect against the intentional contamination of anthrax. Lysozyme can kill certain bacteria by destroying bacteria cell walls — the rigid outer shell that provides a protective coating.

Men need to cry more. Does this necessarily mean because of discussions with the wife? It probably wouldn't hurt. After a tough call where people died and you're damn frustrated at that reality every winter? Yea. All of you. After certain parts of Band of Brothers? Definitely. Even if you can't explain why. Just cry. Let the tears do their work, which also include mood and vision improvement, and a relief of the situation while off loading some of the hormones stress produces. And given the high levels of chronic stress, that can hardly hurt, yes?

The graph is telling us that for every female that commits suicide, three men do. Three. And have for over half a century. They have that much pain. I certainly had my own.

My Mom and I were never attuned, so developed no secure attachment. I spent years trying to figure out how I could get her to love me like my friend's mom loved him. Even through high school, I wanted the parents of my friends, because they were engaged at least to some degree. I got into drugs and alcohol because there was acceptance. Then into the addiction of religion, and again, acceptance. Until there wasn't. And from tribe to tribe, getting that acceptance until there wasn't. That childhood black hole of emotional neglect set the stage for sexual abuse, the drugs, no ability to discern properly, and so financial and job scams, poor relationship choices, no learning on money management, I had a blue collar undereducated life.

in 2011 I had a personal crash and burn on an emergency call, as a responding EMT. It was total. I was a zombie for months, and in 2013 was introduced to a healing modality that I thought would work for what I thought was just service related PTSD. As I healed, I learne3d otherwise. Fast forward to 2019 where the circumstances of my life crashed and burned, and that was when I learned what grief is

Ah, grief. Oh, did I grieve. In April and May of 2019 I lost my primary meaningful relationship (SO), the vehicle I had access to, where I was living (I was homeless after the breakdown. Not a fun time), then my job, then my Krav Maga class, then a high school friend died, and then my step Mom. I know people who have had more less than that in short order!

I spent the rest of 2019 grieving. I kid you not. I didn't give a scat who saw me cry because I had healed and built enough character between 2013 and 2019 to not care what others think. What other men would think, because I knew, know, that a lot of men need to grieve. They hurt. I cried for 8 months as I secured another job, replaced my vehicle, started my own Krav Maga business, and was able to come to completion for my Mom, Dad, and other losses over the lifetime. And you'd be surprised I think about emotionally liberating that is.

Men, many women are turned on by a man who can be vulnerable enough to cry. Yea, they made fun of it in Sleepless in Seattle. Just let the tears flow, just a wee bit. then another wee bit, and then maybe a wee bit+. For whatever reason.

One of the experiences I had with this ability was with my last SO. I was watching her once, anmd just started to cry because I felt the good fortune I had to be with her. She was smart, talented, insightful, caring, and beautiful to look at. I was lucky. And evben though in the moment she responded appropriately, yet, she couldn't handle my vulnerability, my ability to be open. She had a lot of her own unprocessed grief and so when I was open, she started to withdraw her heart. I had to end that relationship. It hurts to this day, but my heart isn't a yo-yo or a punching bag. It was an amazingly painful photo of what it's like when hearts do the work to heal the pain, and when they don't.

Men Cry. They fail. They break down. They commit suicide in numbers that are too high. They can be vulnerable. They can be emotional. They can be caring and show it, and still be men.

I know, because I am one. If you want to talk about it, you can dm me here, and my profile has my website and e-mail.