Men, it’s more than equal pay. Women deserve an equal experience.

I grew up with a single-working mom pretty much the moment I was born. When you are young you basically take everything for granted. Things just happen for you. You need to be somewhere, you are suddenly taken there. You need food, BAM, there it is. It's like magic. Things just happen. As you get older you realize more and more what it takes for parents to make that kind of experience for you. That said, I'm amazed at how much my single-working mom must have done to provide for my brother and I. 

Where am I going with this? Several years ago my mom and I were talking about the business world. During that conversation she mentioned how she was turned away from jobs not long after I was born because she was told by employers – who were men – that they wouldn’t want to see her having to deal with the male workers if hired. In other words, being exposed to sexual harassment and sexist behaviors. My mom had two young kids to feed, so she would tell them she’d learn to deal with it because she really needed the job. But the employers would still say no, thinking somehow they were doing her a favor. Now how ridiculous a situation is that? No outcome here is acceptable. Yet that was the choice.

My mom would eventually get a job, earn an income and work through the sexism and sexual harassment that was much more out in the open in her time than it is now. Meanwhile, during all this, things just "magically" happened for my brother and I at home.

Now have things gotten all that much better than when my mom worked? Revelations and lawsuits at Fox News, Uber, branches of the Armed Forces, and the tech industry show us it hasn’t at a rate that’s anywhere near acceptable. I myself have either seen or have been told of sexism and sexual harassment by coworkers my entire career. Most all of us have. But my work path has been void of these added hurdles and mine fields. Why? Because I have a y-chromosome. 

This is why it’s important to provide equal experience as much as equal pay. Because equal pay doesn’t remove sexual harassment, chauvinism, or misogyny. Equal pay doesn’t change work customs and organizational platforms based on how men best operate, manage, and work. And equal pay doesn’t help women get promoted, listened to in meetings or mentored effectively. Only an equal experience can do all of this. And the only way that can be provided is through the active involvement of all men, not just the ones that decide salaries, hiring, and budgets. All of us need to be leveling the playing field.

Now creating a level playing field doesn’t just mean removing the uphill struggle for women. That's only half of it. It also means voluntarily removing the downhill advantages men benefit from. The two are connected like the wood plank of a see-saw – the movement of one side determines the other. This means men will lose more job opportunities to deserving women. And we should. This also means we will make less in average salary, raises, and promotions so women can continue to get fairly compensated for the same work. And again, we should, as the quest for an equal experience relies on redistributing our historical pay and recognition advantage. For equality, this dynamic has to happen. There is no other way it can. 

So if you’re a man that supports equal pay for women, please do not lose sight of the bigger picture. Please notice the visible and the invisible elements in your work environment that unfairly obstruct women. Then work to remove those barriers, even if it means more effort and less benefits for you.

I also would suggest that guys ask their moms, sisters or daughters about the sexism and sexual harassment they have experienced. It's important for you hear these things from them. They won't tell you everything, but even one story will have an impact greater than any news story you read.

Look, I don’t pretend I am saying anything new here. This is more a reminder that awareness of this issue isn't good enough anymore. Men need to be active in helping to solve this on all levels. If women and men can achieve an equal experience in the workplace, maybe we’ll do better in achieving that on a larger scale. You know, like on this planet we all share.

My mom and me:)