Men Don't Listen to Women

People will hate this because it goes against the social narrative but this is the truth; Men don't listen to women. And if you don't believe me check the ratio of coaches and mentors for men:-)) Men are predominantly coached and mentored by other men. Alpha males or men who are fully in control of being alpha or men opt for female coaches because they understand the power of balancing masculine and feminine and how that feminine energy is what they need to keep them in check. Read here.

Xmas present: You can access my CliftonStrength A-Z course for free until the 14th of January.

Back to men!

I often meet and monitor masculine (personality trait not physical) women and they always tend to have a very difficult time especially when they are in senior roles working with men (same seniority). The problem is many fold but let's just keep it simple.

As women, we have an attribute that is highly underutilised today, that's called influence. Women don't have to tell men what to do, we have to influence them. It is the same at work and at home. Unfortunately, we are not using this attribute because we have been told over and over again that we are equal and all that. Yes, we are equal in terms of legal rights, access to opportunities and all that. We are not equal in terms of biology and will never be.

Women, including me, unintentionally have been taught to be masculine and now we need to learn to know when we need to be masculine and when we need to step into our feminine side where we are the strongest. This is our strength whether you like it or not.

I asked this question many times from women who are masculine and behave like men in the corporate environment; how do you use your feminine power? There is never an answer or when there is it sounds something like; I am not a woman in a professional environment they need to listen to me because of my role or my expertise. Good luck. Only a few can afford this approach and you are likely not one of them.

Men who need to be told by women what to do is a child, no matter the age. Men who are told by women what to do feel like children and you don't want that. When women tell men what to do we remove their masculinity and competence. If the man goes along with it that's a problem because now we removed the basic programming of his existence. If the program is strong enough he will push back and we have a fight of masculine and feminine. Sometimes it is needed but most of the time this fight is engineered by society. So be careful what fight you are fighting.

Here is the thing, men play the masculine game and when women enter that arena with masculinity they have no idea what to do with it. It is unnatural to them, they have no idea how to respond to it. They know they cannot use their masculinity to deal with the situation because men generally know that masculine power is designed to protect feminine power not to destroy it. But they have no tools to handle masculine energy in a feminine body (women) so the only option they are left with is to reject her. And there you have a new LinkedIn post born titled "The patriarchy is alive and kicking." No it's not. It is our inability to be a women.

As Iyanla Vanzant said it so beautifully; "If a woman really understands and knows who she is, she can walk in a room and take control of every man in the room. How she walks, how she sits, how she talks, how she be. We don't know how to be women. We don't know how to do what women do."

We don't, I don't. But here is the thing, when we are in our feminine power we give men the opportunity to step into their masculine power and they need that. Removing their power by telling them what to do is not doing any good and women lose that game more times than men. We will be rejected as colleagues or partners and there you have a society full of single men and women. There you have workplaces filled with equality agenda and policies that tell men "Do not interact with women because they will get you into trouble." My partner told me that I could easily accuse him of mistreating me and he would not stand the chance of defending himself. And you know what, that's true. So I told him better behave:-))

Women in the workforce, especially in senior roles, you have the expertise, the skills, the knowledge and you worked bloody hard to get there yet, you feel like nobody is listening to you. Could it be because you have stepped into a different power? A masculine one and now nobody knows what to do with you so you have been rejected. The power that you took on is rejected not you or your competence for the role. Men don't reject you for being in that role, they reject working with you because you stole their power, their identity, one of the main thing they are born to do. You are taking that away from them and you want them to just accept it?

Ladies, use your feminine power of influencing because women don't have to tell men what to do.

PS: Yes, we do need to tell you what to buy in the grocery store, to take the bin out, or where the bloody ketchup bottle is in the cupboard!:-)) There are things we will be telling you so just be cool with that:-)))

Also, women went overboard with their maternal instinct and created a whole kindergarten called workplace. I also have a theory about childless women and how they compensate for it by making their workforce their children. That's just my theory but work thinking about it.... Here is the kindergarten we created: