No-one Ever Called Me a Bitch! Bias in all the Wrong Places!

Watch out for Bias in Talent Development Conversations: Be careful when you say the “A” word!

The events described herein actually occurred one day during a global organizational talent development review. Albeit, I’ve mixed in a few bits to make the story more intriguing. It serves as a reminder to all of us, especially men, about the attributes we use to describe the talented females in our organizations and the subtle underlying biases that they convey.

What’d he say?

Let’s set up the situation first. I’ve spent my life in hi-tech so it’s no secret that there are more men than women in the industries. The leadership team was overwhelmingly male and the high-potential talent we were reviewing was similarly un-diverse.

The purpose that day was to discuss, support, challenge, and align on the highest potential leaders in the organization. Most of us knew most of the individuals getting the spotlight that day.

The day started out well. Since we were going through the people by job level, the initial wave of talent was well known by the group. Then it happened.

She wasn’t the first female on the docket that morning. She was strong and respected as a functional manager in the organization. The next thing you know, the word surfaced. “She’s too aggressive.” He didn’t flinch or realize the implication of what he thought was an innocuous statement.

At first, there was no reaction. I chimed in, more or less in passing, that this was the first time we had used the A-word and a male leader said it about a female. There was a bit of discussion, a few peers acknowledged the point and a few said, “Well, she is a bit … assertive.”

We moved on.

The second instance

The day was progressing smoothly. A lot of very productive discussions developed. He’s strong. She’s a great leader. She’s really communicating better. He still needs to establish himself outside of his narrow strength window.

Then it surfaced. Again.

“She’s a bit too aggressive,” he said.

I could not wait. “We have used the adjective ‘aggressive’ twice now. Both times were by a male to describe one of our female leaders. That is not right!” We had used “assertive” for a few men by this time.

There was very little pushback this time. My boss and the HR leader both acknowledged it and reminded us to be careful. They reminded us what the goals of the discussions were and reset the expectations to aid the rest of the dialog.

No real harm. But, clearly a real foul.

The coup de grace

It was getting late. We had worked through over 40 people in every function in our group with a few breaks and lunch. There was just a handful of people left to discuss.

Strong. Growing. Could use a mentor. How about a job rotation? International assignment? Didn’t do well on that last presentation. The usual.

None of us were expecting it. Some time had passed since the second instance. Then it hit.

“AGGRESSIVE!”

Barely a second passed when you could feel the air leave the room. The silence was awkward.

“Folks, that was 3 for 3, all women, all called aggressive by men!” I was emphatic this time. No one debated. No one acknowledged. My boss sunk his head in exasperation.

And, in the end …

Fifty people. About 10 women. 3 instances of “aggressive.” All women. All by men. There were more than a few men who were at least as aggressive as the women who got tagged. But they were called assertive.

As leaders, we need to listen closely to the attributes that are assigned to the people in the organization. In this case, a gender overtone crept into the conversation and was so blatant it was embarrassing for everyone. These biased descriptors, especially when used in isolation to a specific type of person or group of people, should not be part of the lexicon of any talent management or development activity.

We need to keep them out. Forever.

The purpose of the story is not to blame as no one was harmed. However, the team, individually and collectively, learned a lot about how we evaluate people in the organization. We also learned that it is critical to keep each other honest and to hold each other accountable for the use of appropriate descriptors across the entire population.

ciao…mam

Michael Massetti is a supply chain executive who has led, coached, mentored and developed many talented women … and men. He’s also raised two daughters.

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