Memory versus Observation
The past is a beautiful and disturbing place. It’s where live our successes and losses; our moments of first discovery and cold disappointment. In the past, we can take comfort or hideout. We can enjoy each moment of love and belong or review a bitterness failure.
The past is like a forest where you find majestic elk or see snakes hanging from the branches. And what shows up depends in part on what you’re looking for. If you seek evidence you’ve been loved, chances are you’ll find it. But if some dark part of you is bent on proving you’re unworthy, you’ll find reasons for that too.
So what do you do with this goldmine or minefield—your history? You can start to see it for what it is—a place your mind can go. Or leave. If it gives you refuge, enjoy it. If it hurts, come back to the present moment and calm yourself in the here and now.
The “now and then” shuttle is a way to facilitate movement from the past to the present. This exercise allows you to migrate back and forth until time-hopping feels easy. Start with a memory—any memory—that you can vividly recall. Anchor yourself there for a moment. See the shapes and colors of the scene. Listen to the sounds—wind or waves or voices. Feel that moment—the temperature, the textures.
Now shuttle to the present. What do you see right now? Let your eyes take in everything around you. Notice what you are hearing, even the tiniest of ambient sounds. What are your hands touching? How does the world press against your body? Do you feel warm or cold? Stay with the moment for a minute or two, and take it in.
Now return to the past—to another memory. It can be anything that comes to mind; it’s completely arbitrary. Try to see it, hear it, and feel it. Give the memory a moment to come alive. Focus on the experience until you can feel what it was like to live it.
Switch again to the present. See your environment. Listen to whatever sounds there are. Notice what your skin tells you.
Now keep shuttling back and forth, returning to the past and present three more times, spending a few minutes in each place.