In Memory of Mom

My dad was one of the reasons I chose to pursue a path in healthcare and clinical research. I never imagined that twenty years later, my mother would be one of the patients in need of advanced treatment as well. Mom was resilient beyond words and fully embarked on living each moment to its greatest extent. Unfortunately cancer won out, one day before her 70th birthday, but not before she had the chance to make the most out of the next five years of life following a Stage 4 diagnosis.

Thank you to all of the people who were so supportive during the journey. I could write an entire book simply about her perseverance. We are extremely grateful for Dr. Debenardo and the Cleveland Clinic miracle workers that gave us extra years with mom. It's tough to squeeze a lifetime into a three and a half minute speech, but here I share her eulogy, not only to honor her memory, but to hopefully inspire others to make the most of the time:

1/26/2023

?Thank you for being here with us today to celebrate mom’s life, the life of a truly remarkable woman; She was a wonderful daughter and sister, an incredibly caring wife and the absolute best mother and grandmother. She was a friend to many throughout her life, at work, around the neighborhood, and in the community.

?The outpouring of love from so many people over the past several days personified the way mom chose to live, not as someone who succumbed to circumstance, but as someone who always remained optimistic and full of hope.?Mom will always be remembered for her caring nature, her selfless giving in the way she raised three rambunctious boys while often working two jobs, in the way she cared for dad through his chronic illness, and in the way she was there for many others throughout their lives.

?For years Mom had a post-it note on the calendar that read, “Life is what happens while you're busy planning for the future.”

?And though the odds may have seemed to be stacked against her at times, mom always pushed forward, unwavering, not with complaint, but with heartfelt laughter.?She remains the face of perseverance and the epitome of a sign that hung above her kitchen sink for years that simply read, “A smile is contagious.”

?Many expect this to be the most difficult day of their life, to say goodbye to a parent; to say goodbye to mom. I thought that fateful day in September 2017 was going to be the most difficult, when we first met with her Oncologist.?Many people stop living the moment they receive a Stage IV cancer diagnosis. Maybe not physically, but spiritually and emotionally. However, I should have known better from experience.?

?Mom took it in stride and for every magic potion that doctors could conjure up, mom continued to live everyday just as she always had with one simple notion, “I just want to live as long as possible.”

?And live she did.

?She was a continuous presence at sporting events and competitions across the Valley cheering on her grandchildren, just as she always had for her children, and nieces and nephews. She still loved sitting out in the sun as much as she loved shopping and keeping JC Penney in business. She spent her retirement years traveling often to visit her grandchildren in North Carolina, along with trips to South Carolina, Nashville, and Florida. Mom was a true force of nature.

?The lasting?image?that remains etched upon my mind was an impromptu trip?Mom and Nate made to North Carolina in August where we managed to find a last-minute room in Wrightsville Beach. As the morning sun rose over our last day and her grandchildren ran about in the retreating waves at low tide, Mom sat there peacefully in her blue lounge chair under an umbrella, cup of tea in hand and a smile on her face; the perfect picture of contentment.?And as much as I wondered about what she was pondering – whether it was the pelicans soaring inches above the calm seas touching the tips of their wings where the warm sun shimmered on the surface of the ocean, some deeper introspective thoughts, or simply enjoying watching her oldest grandson playing with her youngest grandson - the moment was just too perfect to interrupt.

?So in Mom’s honor I ask you to remember the countless memories and moments in life she gifted us,?to reflect upon and to look back at with a smile.?Mom provided a reminder that life will not always go as planned but what matters most is that we keep pushing forward to make the best of it.

?There are always trade-offs, everything must have balance to exist in harmony. No song is created with a single note, nor is life composed of a single moment. Highs and lows continue to flow like the changing tides, but you only get one chance to live life. Life truly is living one moment at a time; precious opportunities to be. Mom proved that fulfilling time was fulfilling life.

?Thank you all for being a part of mom’s life and for being here for her today. Take care of each other and be well.?