Memorize a Go-To Response for Offensive Jokes, and Other Actions for?Allies
Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better?ally.
1. Memorize a go-to response for offensive jokes
Given the news about comedians making racist comments at a recent political rally here in the U.S., I feel compelled to address how we can respond when hearing offensive jokes in our workplaces.
When I was doing research for my book, Belonging in Healthcare, I interviewed Shikha Jain, MD, FACP . She told me that when she was doing her training, an attending physician would make sexually explicit jokes about her in front of patients and the team. She admits laughing it off to just get through her rounds.
Eventually, it got to the point where it was uncomfortable for the entire team. Yet, no one spoke up. Jain told me, “I think it’s because people figured if it wasn’t bothering me, they didn’t need to say anything.”
But here’s the thing. As better allies, we should say something. If we don’t, we become complicit in allowing the joking to continue. We send a message that we’re okay with the behavior.
So how do you go about speaking up? The easiest way is simply to have scripted responses in your back pocket. In the moment, you might freeze up and doubt yourself, so memorizing a few stock callouts is a great way to prepare yourself to confront inappropriate jokes and comments.
Here are a few suggestions:
2. Designate safe spaces for political discussions
In Navigating Politics in the Workplace, Adrienne J. Lawrence of changeforce provides practical strategies to foster a respectful and productive work environment during contentious election seasons.
Lawrence recommends designating safe spaces for political discussions. She explains, “Some companies create designated spaces, both virtual and physical, where political discussions are encouraged in a controlled and respectful manner. For instance, online forums or lunchtime discussions moderated by a neutral facilitator can allow employees to engage in political discourse without disturbing others who prefer to remain apolitical during work hours.”
Even though the U.S. election is taking place in just a few days, consider how you might designate a safe space for discussion next week.
3. Welcome veterans to apply for your job?openings
In the U.S, November is National Veterans and Military Families Month.
One way to support veterans is to intentionally welcome them to apply to your openings. For example, waste management company Republic Services prominently lists “Veterans” in a Careers menu on its website. Selecting it leads to a page with a Military Skills Translator with this message:
“Republic Services is proud to employ thousands of veterans, translating military skills into civilian careers. Our organization’s five values?—?Safe, Committed to Serve, Environmentally Responsible, Driven and Human-centered?—?align closely with the compassionate- and service-forward values of the military. As a veteran, you have skills and experience we need, and we have a track record of helping further develop these qualities in those who have served.”
Of course, they’re not the only company seeking to hire veterans. If you’re looking for additional ways to focus on veterans, check out 48 Companies That Hire Veterans. In it, reporter Dawn Kawamoto featured many veteran-friendly companies that offer skill matching, on-the-job training, and support.
4. Create an accessibility channel
“If your organization has Slack, Teams, or any other messaging program, you should have a dedicated accessibility channel. This would be a great way for everyone on your team to learn together by sharing links, posing questions, and reviewing alt text, among other things.”
Whether you decide to start a channel or have one already, here are some resources to consider posting (brought to you from my newsletter archives):
5. Community spotlight: Avoid misgendering someone
After reading last week’s newsletter where I recommended using “they/them” until you learn someone’s pronouns, a subscriber suggested some alternative approaches to avoid misgendering someone.
One idea is to rephrase your sentence not to use pronouns. Instead of “I saw Alex raise their hand; let’s hear from them next,” we can say, “Alex, do you have a comment or question? Please unmute yourself.”
This subscriber also implores us to take the time to ask about someone’s pronouns, writing, “It sounds laborious, but I feel so happy when I’m asked because I know the person asking respects me and isn’t making any assumptions about me based on my name, how I present, or anything else. It makes me feel valued.”
I’ll add something I learned from Jeannie Gainsburg , author of The Savvy Ally, “remember that sharing pronouns should always be optional. Think of the sharing of pronouns as an opportunity, not a requirement. We shouldn’t force people to share their pronouns, and we shouldn’t question folks if they choose not to share.”
Gainsburg also points out there are ways to ask someone respectfully, perhaps making the situation more comfortable by sharing the pronouns you use first. For example, introduce yourself and add, “I use ‘she’ and ‘her’ pronouns. How may I refer to you?” This approach gives an out if the person doesn’t want to share pronouns. A simple reply might be, “You can call me Jay.”
If you’ve taken a step towards being a better ally, please leave a comment and tell me about it. And mention if I can quote you by name or credit you anonymously in an upcoming newsletter.
That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.
— Karen Catlin (she/her), author of the Better Allies? book series
Copyright ? 2024 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.
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