MEMORIES - GOOD OR BAD?

Everything is just a memory one day; good or bad life goes on.

Good ones are a constant joy - it’s the bad ones that can always cause sleepless nights.

It’s true - the good events and happenings , when remembered over the years, instil a warm glow of happiness, contentment and pleasure giving enjoyment as you linger over the memories. However, when you look back on the bad events in your life – even decades later - they can still stir up the emotions and feelings that you had at the time like a sense of injustice, fear, despair, sadness, anger and stress. Linger on those bad memories and they’ll have the capacity to once more enrage or depress you leading you into a black mood until you force yourself to stop thinking about them. Not easy once they’ve reared their ugly head.

We can’t change the memories good or bad but the way we deal with stressful and unhappy situations when they happen can improve the outcome and make the eventual memories less painful. So, it’s how you handle the bad experiences in life that makes the difference.

When a dispute lands up with me I’m 100% aware that it’s the people in that dispute that caused it but also have the capability to end it. No one wants a dispute and it’s my job to help people find a route to resolve them. I can’t promise them happy memories but in over 90% of cases I can get them a solution.

However, I find in many cases that if I had been called in earlier to mediate a dispute the issue would not have spiralled and the parties involved wouldn’t be creating so many bad memories of lost money, mental exhaustion, sleepless nights. I’m often called in after parties have tried to resolve the issue through solicitors and have spent thousands on legal fees and endured months of stress and anxiety.

I’d urge anyone with a dispute to try mediation as your first option – you can come to your own resolution with the other party, its a fixed cost so you know what you are committed to, and importantly it’s a quick process that can be arranged swiftly so stress is reduced.

Life is about negotiating – we do it when we buy a house or car, when we ask for a pay rise, when the kids want a new Xbox – mediation is negotiating through a 3rd party to get a result you’re happy with………. and in the long term create better memories of that dispute.