Memories Beyond Studio23

On my way looking for jobs with sort of gloom,?a message from a former client popped up on LinkedIn?asking?about my interest in joining a panel talk. This invite threw me back to a middle school memory – a scene filled with an exciting yet challenging question, tinged with a hint of loss and self-doubt, which was one of those pivotal moments that could've been a butterfly effect in reshaping my character.

My junior high PE teacher, who was also our class advisor, must have noticed my Tigger-like bounce during activities. After a flag-raising ceremony on a Monday, he asked if I’d be interested in hosting and speaking at the next one – in front of the whole school. Why me? He?genuinely thought my Mandarin was authentic. Quite the peculiar "talent" for someone from Szechwan-Chongqing? (we speak dialects in our daily lives)?Imagining myself, trembling, stuttering through the script in front of thousands, waiting for the echo of my voice to fade before continuing, was daunting. My classmates, my cousin among the audience, and even the parents lingering behind, clinging to the fences for a glimpse of anything novel – they would all be watching. Before that moment, I'd never done anything like that. Would I mispronounce words? What kind of impression would I leave? How would they judge me? My mind?was?filled with endless questions.

From a young age, I've always considered myself extremely sensitive, concerned about others' perceptions, which society often labels negatively. The more I indulged in potential bad outcomes, the deeper I sank into self-doubt. Even before anything had happened, just the thought would send my heart racing and my body into tremors. I declined my teacher’s offer in a tone that I realize now was laced with hesitation and a subtle self-denial.

However, up until the end of high school, whenever I saw someone on the podium, I’d fantasize about how I would do it – my cadence, my eye contact, my gestures. I realized I had a yearning to express my views and connect with people from that stage. But a missed opportunity is hard to regain. It wasn't until my undergraduate days when I got another chance to speak on stage. I still remember pacing under the moonlight, reciting my speech on the curb, pretending my audience was right there.?

I have to say embarking?on this talk #studio23 #bccampus was a challenge, especially as an ESL(English as a Second Language) speaker. Language has always been my inner demon– including but not limited to panicking when listening to videos without captions or freezing when faced with confused expressions. But I knew I would overcome all of them. The closer I became to the people and life here, the stronger my resolve. I am surrounded by luck and love – those encouraging words always echo in my ears, and I’ve come to realize that being sensitive is not a flaw. It has armed me with creative thinking, a greater capacity for empathy, and, most importantly, learning to accept it has made me comfortable.?

So when that message appeared on LinkedIn, I chose to embrace it, heart racing and all, refusing to let fear dictate my choices. Experiential learning is charming because it boosts confidence through exploring unknown yet deeply desired territories. It brings alternatives to indecision and helps navigate methodologies tailored to one's personal approach to problem-solving, enriching both personal and professional life immensely.

Gratitude overflows for the companionship along the way, our talented Dialogue Doctor team that may doesn't like apples Linda Liu Kamsiyochi O. Clara Park Jiefang Li Shurui Ren Brianna Drew , the fertile ground provided by collaboration with the JIBC project Junsong Zhang , Kent HIGHNAM , Jennifer Jasper , Robert Walker , Becky(Wanqiao) Wu , Susannah Skerl , Mary L. , the invitation and successful hosting by BC campus Helena Prins , Leva Lee , the fresh perspectives gained in discussions with Jedidiah Chiusa and Paola Ortiz , the warm mentorship from Rebecca Shortt , the confidence?from Dave's Dave Fracchia improvisation class at Centre for Digital Media?that allows me to drop the script later on, the vivid experiences Roz McNulty brought to me, the playful yet sincere encouragement from fellow En-Li En-Li Su , the vibrant language coaching from Aida @Aida Elisabeta Osian, and the countless unwavering gazes and supporters behind me. You might not have been aware, but the gifts you’ve given me are brimming with hope. This journey might have had its turbulence, but I'm thrilled to have landed successfully!