Memorial Day Memory

A few days before we were set to come back to the states from Kuwait, one of the Marines in our platoon Lance Corporal Thomas Tormanen from Milford Michigan was killed when his foxhole collapsed on top of him trapping him beneath the heavy sand. By the time, we realized what had happened and were able to dig him out but it was too late. He had stopped breathing. We tried desperately to bring him back to life but it was too late. We could not save him. As I sat next to him so many thoughts raced through my mind. I thought about his family, his wife and his child who he never had a chance to meet before we were deployed. I wondered why something like this would happen to someone with so much to live for. When I came back home I thought a lot about his son and how he never had a chance to meet his Dad. When my father passed I thought about him. When I was feeling sad about my life, I thought about him and as more time passed those memories faded and my life changed. I had a wife and two daughters, I thought less, and less about the son who lost his father. Last year on Memorial Day, I was thinking about him again. Maybe it was because of the lockdown or maybe it was because I had fewer things to distract me. I had an overwhelming feeling that I had to reach out to him.

I looked up the son on Facebook and sent him a message. I knew it was the son because he had pictures of his father posted on his page. When he responded I was both excited and a little scared to read the message. For about a half an hour we messaged back and forth. I told him that his Dad was a good man and that he was among friends when he passed. I told him I was sorry that it took me so long to get up the courage to reach out to him. I told him that I hoped he had a good life and that he should be very proud of the sacrifice his father made and that I could only imagine how hard it was to grow up without him. He had told me that I was the first person that had reached out to him from his Dad’s unit about what happened that day. I was surprised. I thought for sure others would have reached out to him. He thanked me. I was happy he had some closure and I felt like I had completed something that I procrastinated about for a long time. We finished our conversation and went to bed. As I laid down, I started to think about how much time had passed by since Tom died. I realized it had taken me 28 years to make that call. 28 years was such a long time but I never forgot about him. I carried that memory with me every day of my life and still do. I will never forget him or his son. I guess my point is that Veterans never forget. Their families never forget. No one should ever forget. Enjoy the Memorial Day Holiday but please take a moment to reflect and remember not just the men and woman who made the ultimate sacrifice but also their families who did too.