Memorial Day Memories

As a veteran I always find it a bit awkward when someone thanks me for my service on Memorial Day. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture. It’s that many don’t understand that Memorial Day is for those we can no longer thank. Since entering West Point, I’ve lost too many friends, Soldiers, and comrades to accidents, deployments, or perhaps the worst, suicide. But I always take time to reflect and celebrate their lives, if only to help improve my own. And maybe this can help you too, because the world needs more people like Chris Goeke.

Chris always seemed superhuman- a real life Ken doll, a premier athlete and scholar-the only thing he loved more than his country was his God. Chris and I met as freshman teaching Sunday school where we debated Kantian ethics in between drawings of Noah’s Ark. We both served as paratroopers in the Army’s premier 82D Airborne Division and deployed to Afghanistan. Unfortunately, he never made it home. But fortunately for me, I got to spend a few great years with him.

Live with a Purpose

From the moment I met Chris, his life priorities were clear: God, family and service. Sure Chris had other interests. He was an avid runner, ultimate Frisbee player, star student, philosopher…the list goes on. He really seemed to excel in everything. But he was very focused and exacting with his time. Chris lived his life with a purpose, to love others and serve. You could find him living out this mission in all that he did.

Be Courageous

Chris taught me that once you’ve found your purpose, you’re proud of it. Those who believe in what they’re doing want to share it with the world. They don’t fear criticism, skepticism, and even rejection. They are so committed that social acceptance no longer matters. I can remember an ethics debate where the opposing team questioned Chris on the legitimacy of military ethics during the height of the Iraqi war. He used this as an opportunity to educate them on the importance of military service for utility, to promote the greater good. I don’t recall winning that debate session, but I can still remember Chris’s passion. 

Accept the Consequences

I still find it a bit ironic that one of Chris’s favorite moral arguments was social contract theory. He would describe how Socrates accepted the death penalty to uphold the Laws of Athens, which he knowingly violated. Likewise, service members today volunteer knowing the potential sacrifice. While this is unsettling, it helps to know this decision was made willingly. Chris was incredibly thoughtful; he understood personal accountability, and the importance of accepting the consequences of decisions, even those with less than ideal outcomes.

I believe that every hardship builds strength, and every loss brings a lesson. I try not to dwell on losing amazing friends like Chris. Instead, I feel blessed to have known them, and am a better person because of it.