Memorial Day & Man's Best Friend

May is a month of dual importance for VALOR and S&P Global, as we honor Military Appreciation through our Tribute Center, while also celebrating Mental Health Awareness.

This Memorial Day weekend, these two themes intersected for me in a personal and profound way. Last Memorial Day, I invited my neighbor, Michael Unold, as a guest speaker for REACH’s learning session We Are More Alike Than Different. There, Mike spoke quite movingly about the challenges he has endured caring for his brother Tommy, who has Down Syndrome.

As the sole caregiver for his brother, Mike has faced innumerable challenges, but they came more sharply into focus at the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis. With limited homecare support, Mike has been looking for new ways to support Tommy. It just so happened that I found a way--the result of my own struggle.

As anyone who is managing through this pandemic alone will tell you, the road ahead is a difficult one. But for those living alone AND owning a pet, the circumstances are even more daunting. For the first few weeks of the outbreak here in the U.S., I stayed in as much as possible, attempting to find balance between work and virtually connecting with family and friends. The pitfalls of solitude were remedied daily by my canine colleague, Simba:

A Jack Russell terrier—and a rescued dog—Simba's energy is tough to keep up with on most days, but the unconditional love and emotional support certainly makes up for it. However, as stay-at-home orders began to ease across the U.S., I began venturing back into the outside world. Unfortunately, I didn't account for the immense separation anxiety that I'd encounter with man's best friend. Several noise complaints from my tenants, coupled with Simba's stubborn nature, added to my general stress levels leading into Memorial Day weekend. And although I'd purchased a number of pet training resources beforehand, I knew that they'd take time to make an impact.

So there I was last Friday, looking for any opportunity to get some fresh air for the holiday weekend without incurring the wrath of my neighbors. Particularly with some recent family loss, nature would be the perfect solution—I just couldn't get outside on my own. Enter my next-door neighbor Mike. From the moment he met my dog, Mike had always taken a liking to him. Never having been a pet owner, he was eager to spend time with Simba.

On previous occasions, I'd invited Mike and Tommy to my apartment, but it seemed that being away from his home base frightened Tommy. He'd often get scared and retreat. On "their home turf," as Mike put it, they'd surely get along better. Mike volunteered to watch the dog at various points for three days--three crucial days that not only allowed me to get fresh air, but also to check up on family members and stock up on essentials. The exchange of favors was not lost on either of us; over the past few months, we've purchased supplies for one another, as needed. But this was altogether a different experience. Leaving my dog with Mike for long stretches of time, all while tending to his brother. Wouldn't this be too much of a burden?

The answer came late Monday evening, after a long weekend of funeral services and personal struggle. I received this note from Mike:

Best weekend I've had in a long time. Tommy did well--I'm pleasantly surprised, and it was good for me, too. Simba laid next to me when I sat on my couch, and whenever I got up, he'd follow me. Tommy would laugh and say, "Look, look who's behind you!" Thank you for trusting me with that little fella! Please find a bit of peace and satisfaction in the knowledge that you made two oldies happy.....

That message, followed by a discussion with Mike where he told me how mentally stimulating the dog's presence was for his brother, set the tone for the week. More important, it put everything into perspective. Pain and hardship are often easier to bear when we face them together. And every once in a while, it takes man's best friend to get us there.