Memorial Day: Keep it Alive

Ahh, Memorial Day! The last Monday in May, the federal holiday that indicates summer is upon us, it’s time to get outside for some Vitamin D and fire up the grill.

All good. But let’s also consider the reason the holiday exists in the first place, and what it represents beyond a day off work.

As US society has shifted over the decades, fewer people are intimately associated with those that have served in the military. Out of that number, even less know someone who died performing their military duties in the United States Armed Forces.

Memorial Day recognizes and remembers those that have made this ultimate sacrifice. Arguably, this is now more important than ever since we have become further detached from these sacrifices and those who made them.

Not so in the past.

The precise history of our Memorial Day is obscure and complex. The practice of decorating soldiers' graves with flowers is an ancient custom. Many of the origination claims are myths, unsupported by evidence, while others are one-time cemetery dedications or funeral tributes.

Not long ago, many of us had living parents, grandparents, or great grandparents who fought for our country. However, the last members of “The Greatest Generation” have drastically dwindled. Those that remain are over 100 years old.

My father went through the University of Oklahoma on a ROTC scholarship and when he graduated, he served as a Captain in the U.S. Army Reserve for 5 years. He finished his service in 1964 as a communications officer and was never deployed to Vietnam. When he died in a private plane crash, the U.S. Army sent my mother an American flag encased in a wooden and glass box. I display it proudly every day to remember my father, but most importantly to remember all who served and sacrificed for our freedom.

I know that many of us have mixed feelings about the military. Some have unpleasant associations from the era when the US had a draft, pre -1973. The Vietnam War was a controversial moment, with great cultural upheaval in the ’60s and ’70s. Some, with a touch of isolationism, don’t wish for us to be the world’s police. The greater humanists among us may lean toward a more pacifistic worldview.

Today, some of us feel that going into the military has its perks, that it’s a job like any other. This view tends to be more restrained when military casualty figures make the news. But even though those who enlisted signed on knowingly, accepting the risks, we generally have sympathy for the families of the fallen.

My own view has a touch of the young boy gazing at his father’s flag. To have volunteered to serve his country: How noble! How brave! How heroic!  Indeed, the romantic notion prevalent in many centuries of human conflict pays homage to these ideas of heroism and glory, of individuals being tested and persevering through unimaginable challenges. There is something of the human spirit, of striving against all odds, of sacrifice, of bravery, that suffuses our myths and legends.

Then there is patriotism itself. We can agree that one doesn’t need to serve in the military to be patriotic. Yet, the willingness to put life on the line, whether from a sense of bravery or the noblest of patriotism, is not for everyone. Having a volunteer armed force is a direct acknowledgment of this.

Fighting for your family is instinctively correct and is perfectly defensible. Fighting for extended family, broadening out to your tribe, is too, but a little less so. Fighting for your nation becomes even more abstract. It’s not quite the same. But doesn’t the underlying principle that justifies fighting for your family also apply to your country?

Memorializing the fallen can be separated from these philosophizing meanders. Whatever the political context, whatever the conflict, whatever the specific circumstance of any soldier's death, what unites us with them is our humanity. They are people who have made higher-risk choices than the rest of us. Their reasons for doing so are their own. They deserve to be recognized. Remembered. And Appreciated.

As you open that beer and flip the burgers, take a moment to consider the meaning of Memorial Day and those that gave their lives in the service of our country. As we’re reminded daily, the US is far from perfect; but the sacrifice of lives was not for any one party or even any one war. It was for the highest principles our country stands for, our noblest ideals. Those heights of human aspirations are worth fighting for, and for the few of us, worth dying for.

In this piece, I’ve taken a moment to recognize my father’s service to his country, and everyone who made a sacrifice for our freedom.  If you wish to honor someone you know in the military, please do so in the comments.