Meltdowns: Discovering Communication

Years ago, it was not uncommon for me to show up to work with bruised arms and broken glasses. A few times I had to rush home from work due to my son's meltdowns. For those who worked with me, you may remember those days.

There were times when our son would have meltdowns that would last for several hours, leaving us with broken walls, broken windows, broken hearts, and feeling helpless. Bruised bodies, possible concussions, and with our egos humbled, we were without any answers as to what could improve these moments.

Picking up the pieces and trying to figure out what triggered these meltdowns took several years. Going through each moment leading up to a meltdown gets analyzed and reviewed, searching for what could have been the final straw before any action on his end was made.

Was it too noisy? Was the TV too loud? Were the light bulbs emitting an irritating frequency? Did we forget a step in a routine? Are we asking him too many questions? Not enough?

The reality is that these things that were contributors to his meltdowns were not his fault, nor did they make him a 'difficult kid'. He's a great kid, and normally very joyful.

The challenge was us as parents trying to figure out what was going on with him, as there was no translator to describe what he was going through to us. In short, there was a communication breakdown that was between him and his mom and me regarding what was going on with him. If I ever mention a struggle regarding my son, it isn't his, it is ours.

He was trying to communicate, we just had difficulty learning to listen. It serves as a reminder that when someone says he had 'behavioral issues', the reality was he was doing his best at trying to communicate with us what he was going through. He was in pain, he was hurting, he needed help. The biggest challenge on his end was his ability to verbalize what he was going through. He was communicating, just not in a language we easily understood.

How often do we get frustrated when no one is listening to us? How often would you be prone to hit something out of that frustration because no words worked?

While all of these questions, and more, were visited and revisited every time a meltdown occurred, we kept searching for answers within our local community. This was our effort to attempt to discover what he was trying to say to us. We were on a journey to find something that could translate his actions into words - at the very least allowing us to understand what he was trying to say in these situations.

Then, a most unlikely - but explainable reason - became the answer to our son's situation. It allowed us to dive into solutions rather quickly. The results were pretty immediate and long-lasting.

This Friday I share what we discovered, and how it improved our son's challenges - and our home, forever...

Subscribe to our podcast on your preferred platform, just search for "Autisable Dad's"

Feel free to also follow us here on LinkedIn at

https://www.dhirubhai.net/showcase/autisable-dads-podcast

Podcast News...

I'm incredibly grateful that you are following this journey. Please consider becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/autisable.

I'm also on the hunt for sponsors for the podcast. The Podcast, Autisable, and helping folks with their digital marketing efforts takes time, and bills have to be paid. Here's a little note as to why I'd love to have a coffee sponsor, but I'm not limiting anyone from supporting this effort: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/hunt-podcast-sponsor-joel-manzer/

We've come a long way in the past few years, and as such we are in the process of converting many of our older seasons and putting them on YouTube. I'll share more once we have several posted.

And now, for more!

Sometimes individuals and organizations need a bit of a shoutout, as they are making great strides in helping the autism community in some way. Here are this week's highlights:

If you have a company or individual that needs a shout-out, leave a comment:

1. Elaine Hall and her efforts with The Miracle Project can be regularly seen in several films. The folks she works with, and even herself, can be seen in the latest streaming show about Autism called 'As We See It'.
2. Jeff Snyder is an autism self-advocate and travels regularly, sharing his experiences and educating people about Autism through his blogging and public speaking efforts.