Meet your new superpower: Negotiation

So, let's dive into something that's been on my mind – the art of negotiation. Full disclosure, I wasn't always a negotiation queen. I grew up in a difficult, patriarchal culture where my Dad made the rules. He told me not to have an opinion, and my mom told be to be a nice girl. These weren't exactly the stepping stones to a high-powered career.

It cost me big time when I entered the work world - talk about a disability. I didn’t know my worth or how to advocate for myself, or know how to negotiate. Without asking any questions, I accepted what was given to me. That’s what nice ladies do. No feather ruffling of others.

It took a while to realize that those 'nice' rules weren't getting me where I wanted to be. So I started doing some research on women/negotiation. I stumbled upon the book, "Ask For It" by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. It felt like they were reading my mind – sharing stories that hit close to home and nudging me to step into my own power.

Breaking Free from "I have no control" mindset:

This is an engrained mental trap in most women. There's a feeling that we don’t have much of a say because we have no control over our circumstances -- it's all up to the employer. Yes, they are your employer, but you are also a valued asset to the company. Our power is in how we respond, embrace, drive, and thrive through change, negotiations, layoffs, re-orgs -- you name it.

Knowing our worth is how we can be prepared in a negotiation. Back in the day, I'd undervalue myself. I didn't know what others were earning. People were not encouraged to share salary information. The advice from the book about being assertive but armed with facts struck a chord. So, let's dig into research. Let's understand our industry. Then, we can confidently ask for what we deserve.

Cooperation Over Competition:

And that 'playing nice' syndrome? Yeah, I've been there too. The studies in the book made me reflect on how being too bold can sometimes backfire. Let's communicate assertively but with a touch of finesse. We'll use a tone that gets us what we want without losing our authenticity. Cooperation over competition – that's the sweet spot. Yes, I wanted to win the negotiation. I couldn't do it at the expense of not understanding the point of view or company context. A bull in a china shop is not usually how to get what you want, unless you don’t care about the bridges you burn in doing that. The company could feel hostage to giving you exactly what you want. They might scrutinize your work to death or lay you off in the first round of layoffs. So finesse, is key.

Focus and Patience – Our Secret Weapons:

Now, let's chat about focus and patience – my Achilles' heel. The 'Closer' in me didn't always stay focused on the upper target number. I'd settle too quickly because I worried about making someone mad or having an outlandish request. How dare I ask for a big raise? Who did I think I was…ah, the self-sabotage. The book opened my eyes to the power of patience in negotiation. We don't have to rush; we can control the tempo. Take your time, make your moves strategically, and watch the magic unfold. I can’t say it enough, be patient.

Here’s one scenario where patience and balancing short-term/long-term thinking is key:

Let's break it down. Say, for instance, you're negotiating a starting salary, and your initial ask is $90,000. The employer counters with $82,000. Accepting the lower offer might seem like a quick resolution. However, caving in too soon could lead to a substantial pay gap over time. If you had stuck to your initial ask, the compound effect over the years could mean earning thousands more annually. It's not just about the present; it's an investment in your future financial well-being.?

Navigating Through Caving-In Pressures:

So, how do we navigate through the pressures of caving in? First, recognize your own worth. Understand the value you bring to the table, and let that knowledge be your anchor during negotiations. It's not just about the immediate gain. It's about securing fair compensation. This sets the stage for future advancements.

Develop a fallback position, your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). Knowing your BATNA gives you the confidence to walk away from a deal that doesn't meet your minimum acceptable standards. It prevents you from settling for less than you deserve.

Lastly, seek support and mentorship. Connect with women who have successfully navigated negotiations. Learn from their experiences, and don't hesitate to seek advice. Solidarity brings strength. Having a support system can make all the difference. Alternatively, work with an experienced intuitive coach, like me. I have been in these situations before.

Be prepared that they may say no.?

Negotiation, as empowering as it can be, isn't always a walk in the park. We face hurdles – let's call them negotiation blockers. One major stumbling block is the fear of rejection. It's that nagging feeling that if we ask for what we want, we might be turned down. Reframe rejection as redirection – a chance to learn, adapt, and come back even stronger. Embracing rejection as part of the negotiation journey can be liberating and get you out of the mental trap that something is wrong with you because you want more. Remember, you took the time to go to the plate and ask for what you want. Your manager and/or company will remember that - that you value yourself, your work, and contributing your best to the company.

The Importance of Strategic Timing and Building Alliances

Timing is everything. Don't rush into negotiations without strategic planning. If you're eyeing a promotion or raise, consider the timing carefully. Know your company’s business ebbs and flows. Evaluate your company's financial cycles, performance review schedules, or key milestones. If it’s a public company, sit in on the earnings calls. Read the 10K reports. Listen to what the analysts or reviewers are saying about the company’s trajectory. Align your negotiations with moments when your value is most evident. This will make it difficult for decision-makers to ignore your contributions.?

Building alliances within your workplace is another strategic move. Having advocates who recognize your worth and accomplishments can significantly impact negotiations. Seek out mentors, allies, or even colleagues who can vouch for your abilities. A united front makes it harder for decision-makers to overlook your value proposition. This means taking the time to invest in these alliances. Know what is top of mind for them and what they are looking to accomplish as well. Support each other.

In conclusion, negotiation is not just about financial gain. It's a holistic approach to shaping our lives. It's about asking for that flexible work schedule you need. It's also about getting the resources required for your projects. And it's about getting the acknowledgment you deserve for your hard work. Don't shy away from making bold requests that align with your personal and professional aspirations. This isn't just about getting what you want. It's about rewriting the rules and creating a path for all women to step into their negotiation power.

My journey taught me that owning your career, wins, and overall narrative is a game-changer. Share your successes, highlight your unique skills, and let your narrative amplify your worth. Your story is your superpower. Incorporating it into negotiations can humanize the process. This makes it a collaborative journey, rather than a transactional exchange.

Ready to Unleash Your Negotiation Superpowers? Join Me on This Journey!

I'm here to guide you through transforming your career. I will help you get what you want and negotiate for the best possible outcomes. I use emotional intelligence, intuition, and my corporate experience to help you achieve your career goals.?

If you're ready to rewrite the rules and break free from the 'nice' trap, let's connect.

A free consult awaits you at serinsilva.com.