Meet Lilac

What can we learn from pets?

Our son loves animals. He has an ant colony. He used to have fish. He takes care of bunnies and birds in the yard. And he loves many other animals to the point that we are members of several zoos and aquariums. After several years in the US, and thanks to the move to MN, we finally got a pet dog for him at the end of 2019. She has proven a great companion during these unprecedented times. The dog has helped us learn many things.

As many of you might know, I have been interested in studying relationships since a young age. I am a middle child. And during my master's degree dissertation in 1996, I had the opportunity to study relationship marketing. (At the time I was totally passionate about retail.) So, with this background and a curious research spirit, I started observing our dog.

I observed how she builds relationships with me, my wife, and our son.  I first noticed that when she relates to me or my wife. she often does so with a very clear interest; she wants something. Even though the relationship is based on trust, it is primarily transactional. When she satisfies her need. or when we are not willing to satisfy it, she moves on. She is not loyal, but she trusts us.

With our son, the relationship is totally different. He doesn’t feed her. He doesn’t walk her. He doesn’t take her to the vet. And he probably doesn’t even give her the attention she wishes all the time. But she is always there for him. And, as I learned recently, in his unique and subtle way, he is always there for her too.

This seems to be a typical example of a loyal relationship based on love, not interest. As I continue to observe how organizations tend to focus their resources on acquisition of new customers and not retention of their current customers, I go back to our dog experience. I wonder if many, unconsciously, could be simply incentivizing transactional behaviors instead of focusing on creating the deeper bonds that may not be as visible.

For example, when I used to research HR topics, I learned that companies often conduct exit interviews to understand why people are leaving. But rarely do we see "stay interviews". Perhaps companies need to better understand why the most loyal people are staying.

I wonder what your experiences are like and what you think of the above. Does it make sense? I am curious to hear and learn with your insights. Thanks in advance for sharing. Rubens