Meet the Happiness Concierge- Rachel Service

It's my pleasure to share my sit down with the passionate and inspiring Rachel Service, in the lead up to our event next week.

Rachel, what do you think would be the determining factor to improve happiness in the coming years of digital era?

Approximately 80% of people who attend our workshops, don’t know what they want, making it practically impossible to go after the promotion / life / job / relationships of our dreams.  

My one piece of advice is this: book in one hour with YOURSELF this weekend, or even tonight. No Instagram, no family, by yourself. Let your brain wander and see what it comes up with. (And if that’s a bit overwhelming try this free worksheet).

If everyone got clearer on what they wanted - and then took one teeny tiny step towards that, it actually doesn’t matter what the outcome is. The message it sends to your brain and self esteem as someone who does what they say they want to is enough of a step in the right direction.

 Like so many people it seems that you had to learn the hard way before deciding that you should be able to be happy while being successful at your career. Can you please tell us a bit about your story?

I am a recovering workaholic and, after suffering from anxiety, depression and burnout throughout my career, I had a breakthrough moment in New York City. It was at a Beyonce concert, of all things, that I decided there had to be another way to enjoy work. A few months later, I founded Happiness Concierge: the kickass training company to help you ace your work and life. We have since trained thousands of people across Asia-Pacific and North America.

You could definitely say that I learned the hard way, and that I’m still learning, but what I now know for sure is that there is another way. It is possible to kick ass in your career and in your relationships. We might not be able to do it all at once but there are so, so many things we can do to top up our mojo and be happier, more successful and more satisfied with the 24 hours in each day.  

I know this because it is something I am actively working on every day.

How often do you come across others who have burnt themselves out?

Every single day. So many of us have a story just like mine that starts with ‘well, I burnt out and then I realised I needed to do things differently…’, which only changes if we get fed up with feeling like that, you know?

The nature of our work means our team is often the first responders for people who need support (our online community in Slack as well as weekend coffee and running clubs to support this demand), and more often than not it’s a simple rejig of priorities and saying no to things that no longer serve us in a way that frees people up to say YASS.

It would also be misleading to imply I don’t have those feeling myself at times at Happiness Concierge. Our work is ‘campaign’ based meaning we have a pre, during and post for every event and corporate assignment as well as the needs of our coaching clients to continually deliver, so each Happiness Concierge (myself included) have developed hacks to ensure we have enough mojo in the tank to slay for ourselves and share that mojo for others. Ultimately that’s what our clients are paying us for: our mojo, resources (all free on the website), in person counsel and life changing experiences: it’s our most valuable resource.

If we haven’t been through it ourselves, we know someone who has. It’s a big reason why I believe in what we’re doing at Happiness Concierge so much, it’s something I’m managing myself every day and so is our community.

What can individuals and companies do to avoid this?

It isn’t one person's ‘fault’ rather a series of contributing factors. These can be lessened by:

Teaching your team how to communicate with each other. Show them what healthy boundaries look like at work. Learning how to give timely, clear and helpful feedback that gets your team closer to their professional and personal goals.

Demonstrate through action that communicating constructively is not ‘conflict’, rather it’s the opposite, it’s about kickass outcomes. Reward constructive conversations by thanking your team for their passion and honesty. Swallow your pride when they give you feedback, instead: thank them for their courage to share that with you.  

Our research and interviews tell us the conversations individuals are having with us are not conversations they’re having with their employees or colleagues. Here’s a common scenario we see when we go into organisations keen on helping their team slay:

The employee is unclear on what is expected of them. Instead of clarifying, they focus on ‘working harder’, to avoid a conversation, and as a result their employer wonders why they are so ‘stressed’ and makes the assumption they are not efficient. Over months and years this gap widens and the relationship becomes strained.

 We coach our clients into how to have a constructive conversation with their employer so they can ace their work and expectations. We help the individual flex their personal boundaries so they can take that pride and confidence into work. We work with the employer to design a programme that helps the team re-enact those positive outcomes through efficiency, communication and team bonding scenarios that help everyone flex their superpowers and work together collaboratively (which is the most efficient way to work playing on colleagues superpowers instead of doing it all ‘yourself’).

Once the team does have a conversation, it’s a relief on both ends: they have the tools to help one another slay and realise they always have a choice of how they ace their work. As individuals becoming skilled at managing expectations, this gives us space to be more productive. From batching our work into our most productive hours and getting clear on the things that top up our mojo, to having mental head space to learn from coaches to continually slay at work which is good for everyone.

 Do you think the digital era has helped or hindered burn out?

I don’t believe it’s helpful to think of technology as totally good or totally bad.

We have a flexible team who work across Australia, so we find at Happiness Concierge video conferencing, online communication channels like Google Drive, Slack and recording software definitely made some things in our office more efficient, meaning we can turn around briefs, checklists and assignments faster and to a higher quality.

On the flip side, it can also make it more tempting to avoid ‘switching off’. I certainly know I can feel the pressure to be online and available 24/7, but I would argue that’s not because of technology solely. Work has always driven me and I derive a lot of joy from performing well at work. Colleagues of mine who find joy from non work related hobbies don’t report this to be so much of an issue, ha ha!

 What type of steps would you recommend an individual take if they are heading down the burn out path, or are simply not happy with their career?

• Book in with your GP. Ask for recommendation to mental health care plan (this means your GP may be able to recommend a therapist or counselor and allows for discounts on seeing them).
• Ask for help or reach out to someone who cares about you. Tell them how you are feeling.
• Jump onto happinessconcierge.com and check out one of our 20 free how to slay your work and life. (Life Audit is a small step if life is getting you down, otherwise try Mojo Career on tips to identify steps towards a career where you slay).
• Engage a coach: each Happiness Concierge has a private coach and it is a continual practice. Invest in the most important project you’ll ever work on: you or even better, get your employer to pay for it.
• Come along to any Happiness Concierge event in Australia. It’s one step in the direction of telling yourself ‘I am doing something about it’. We’d love to have you (our most popular event is Find Work That Matters).

What steps can an organisation take to ensure their people don’t reach burn out?

Some of our leadership clients physically walk around the office turning off people's computers at 5pm.

Outside of that, here is a powerful, tactical tip each leader can have in their tool box:

Have a dossier on each team member and break into five groups based on their individual strengths, motivators and risks. (Examples include: people pleaser, perfectionist, work as primary self esteem, avoidance of home life, and ability and comfortability to ask for help, these are the most common contributors to those who experience burnout). Knowing this influences how you give them work, how you check in with them and how frequently.

For example, knowing you have a people pleaser means showing them how to say no to you, and demonstrating a positive consequence to saying no to you as a leader, so they feel empowered and proud of flexing their boundaries (leading to better quality work and they feel awesome, too).

Knowing you have a high performer who crashes on deadline due to a fear of asking for help, setting clear ‘check in’ dates early and asking, ‘what are you working on, what parts do you need help with, and what is the consequence if we don’t get help on X’ helps them see asking for help is part of delivering quality work and you’re on operation ace this assignment. Showing other team members asking for help and the leader celebrating them asking for help also demonstrates it is ok to do so.

 Knowing how your team tick under stress helps you to better understand people’s ways of working and allows you to put the right supports and culture in place so that your people don’t reach burn out. You don’t want a burnt out team: it’s less productive and it’s a higher risk of losing top performers. Instead, you want a productive team who know themselves and how to slay work and life.

(If you’d like help learning how to identify these personality archetypes in your team, contact us).

And celebrating the wins regularly. Ask your team to collate their achievements regularly and share. It is not through the sharing but the individual reflection that builds confidence in your team members: that's the ‘aha’ moment you are looking to guide them towards.

Is there anything else you would like to share?

What our community tells us is so many of are waiting for this moment when we will finally feel ‘qualified’ or ‘confident’ or ‘worthy’ enough to go after what we want.

The Happiness Concierge definition of confidence is: evidence + validation + self belief. It’s like a three legged stool: you need all three to ace it. Tactical ways to build this include:

• Achievement audit: regularly taking stock of what you have achieved, what you learned and what you’d do differently next time (so you prime yourself to continually refine and associate that with success)
• Asking for the opinion only of those you respect, and seeking ‘one piece of advice’ from someone you admire professionally
• Creating a mantra you will live by. For me, the promise I made to myself when I started Happiness Concierge which I continually repeat to myself most days is: “I am nervous because I’m excited. I’m excited because this is important to me. Because this is important to me: I am going to try my best.” This helps me navigate from nervous to mojo.

Can you share some of your tips on how to avoid burning out in the digital era?

Switch off all notifications on your phone. That form of validation is addictive and unhelpful. Instead, I log into ‘indulge mode’ when I want my Instagram fix as a ‘treat’. (I’m still unsure how to get out of it however…)

When you commit to a deadline, respond with when it will be delivered, and then schedule when you will work on it in your calendar. This will immediately alleviate ‘when will I get it done’ anxiety. I know from my own experience and now experience managing a team, when we say yes we give ourselves a false sense of having completed a task and then often don’t complete the task, which leads to panic when all of a sudden it is due…

Instead of writing, ‘I will…’, first schedule it into your diary, outline how you will do the task, and then respond ‘I have scheduled to do this…’. It tricks your brain into feeling accomplished, it reassures the person asking you of your organisational proweress and alleviates anxiety of ‘how will I get this done’.

Consult your diary before saying yes. Map out how long a task will take (multiply x 3 if a new task you’ve not done before). Same with social engagements.

Instead of replying with ‘sorry….’ or ‘apologies…’, try ‘thanks for the reminder!’. More positive signals to your inner people pleaser and less beating yourself up.

Rewards after completion of work. I batch tasks, meaning I go deep into work mode, then schedule a break to celebrate. (Let’s face it, that’s Instagram). What this means is I don’t leave for a switch off until I’ve finished a batch of work which means I feel accomplished. It makes me more efficient and effective, which in turn tops up my mojo because I feel like I’m actually ‘achieving’ - and so begins this really wonderful feedback loop.

Get to sleep before midnight.

Remind yourself nobody wants to hear from you if you’re in your ‘yellow’ and ‘red’ zone and it will impact your reputation and influence others respond to you in future if you do respond in that zone.

Visit someone much older or much younger than you, regularly. Mental health care professionals recommend it. It puts it all into perspective. My nephew is cheaper than therapy: and way cuter.

Instead of telling yourself what you ‘will’ do, remind yourself what you ‘have’ done. And tell us about it over on Slack.

Join us 3rd October to meet Rachel who can take you through her words of wisdom in depth.

• 3rd October 2018
• 6-8:30pm
• Nibbles on arrival
• Pommery Door Prize
• Book signing https://coreconfidence.com.au/
• The George on Collins- 162 Collins Street, Melbourne 3000
• https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confidence-happiness-in-the-digital-era-tickets-49808408290?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

What an incredible night we have planned with these two superstars, Kate Boorer & Rachel Service. Kate Boorer will take us on a journey looking deeper into what makes us confident, highlighting all the research she has uncovered and provide practical examples of what it takes to grow your own core confidence. She will outline how can this help you with your own personal brand in this Digital Era.

Rachel Service will take us on a journey to look at Happiness, Rachel exclusively speaks of opportunities for businesses to retain, develop and grow their people. Whilst providing key tools to help people ace in life and career, she will outline hacks to find happiness in the digital era for both companies and individuals.

https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/confidence-happiness-in-the-digital-era-tickets-49808408290?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

Many thanks,

Angela Mellak MCIM

Judge for Anthills 2018 Top 100 Innovative Companies

Ranking Top10 LinkedIn influencer 2017

Director and Strategist - Digital White Space 

Co-founder - Digital Women's Network 

Georges on Collins

Level 3, 162 Collins street, Melbourne 3000

M: +61(0)466 619 631

E: [email protected] 

https://digitalwhitespace.com.au

https://www.digitalwomensnetwork.com

https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/angelamellak/

“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card and how you leave people feeling after they dealt with you becomes your trademark".. Angela Mellak