MEDITATION IS TIME FOR OURSELVES
Making time for ourselves is not something many of us are ever taught to do. In the Western world, it’s viewed as a self-centered waste of time-- time we should spend thinking about, and doing for, others. We’re taught that we should sublimate our own needs, and dedicate our time to the services of others.
Serving others is, of course, a worthy and noble goal but what about us? Can’t we also serve ourselves? Does one necessarily exclude the other? Of course, not. Small wonder the practice of meditation has been regarded with skepticism, if not outright disdain, by many in the West. Meditation is something “they” do -- but not us.
Concededly, depending upon the tradition one follows, meditation can focus on phenomena other than what I would like to talk about, but for this piece, I am focusing on us-- not the finer points of the practice. Whether, and how meditation can actually impact our thinking or our conduct-- that’s something that many curious people are concerned about.
As I see it, a culture that recognizes the importance of “I” or “me” is not anathema to a culture that also recognizes the importance of “us” or “we”. Neither exists to the exclusion of the other. One might even go so far as to say that the “me”/”we” dichotomy is a false dichotomy, insofar as it may suggest that “me” doesn’t include “we”-- they both include each other.
A healthier, happier “me” also contributes to a healthier, happier “we” -- just as sure as 1+1=2. The former is not in the least bit exclusive of the latter. So, the question naturally arises: Can meditation really contribute to a healthier, happier me?
I don’t mean to get too far into the weeds over simple semantics but “I” or “me” is not the same as “my” or “mine”. Maybe that’s where the disconnect is, for some people. Recognition of one’s self does not necessarily mean that the selves of others are somehow excluded, or compromised. In fact, it actually confirms what we already know (i.e., we’re all individual, with our own unique perspective of things).
Contrary to what many of us have been taught, being unique doesn’t mean we’re not also members of a larger family. Sure, we don’t always agree with other members of our family, but unless their idea of “I” or “me” really meant “my” or “mine” most of us in my family, generally got along.
For old Beatles fans, I confess that I was a George supporter. I immediately connected with him, even though (probably because) he wasn’t one of the other band members. But I do have one bone to pick with him: I do not believe that “I” and “me” are in any way connected with “mine”. All respect to the late George Harrison, but even though “I, Me, Mine” may be a good lyric, it’s misleading-- and not accurate.
For example, take the expression “my way, or the highway” -- it may be definitive, but it’s also likely to make anyone who hears it feel diminished, and less agreeable. That’s where meditation comes into play-- in the world of meditation, the notions of “I” and “me” are welcomed and encouraged. The notions of “my” or “mine” are not.
Hence, the title of this piece and my thoughts on the matter. For me, meditation is a lot of things but most importantly, it’s about me. I believe that the practice of meditation makes me healthier, and happier. It also made me more effective and more accessible, during the last few years of my work in the legal profession.
Since retirement, I’ve had plenty of time to look after myself. Before I retired, I did not. My antidote then-- as well as now? Making time for “me”, in silence and stillness. Making time for meditation!