MEDITATION GUIDE

As a beginner or intermediate meditator, you may have many questions about how to meditate, how to integrate it into your life, and how to deal with some common obstacles that come your way. Or perhaps you are a mindfulness instructor and are looking for a resource to help you answer some of the common questions about meditation that people have.

What is meditation about

Different things for different people. For some people, it’s about a specific benefit (better health, performance, creativity, etc.), or about personal growth and healing. For others, it’s about spirituality, awakening, and transcendence. Whatever motivates you to start meditating is good. Your goals may change by time.

How to get started?

How to start meditating?

How long until I see some results?

That is actually a very good question, and one that many people have.

There are four essential points about how to make meditation a permanent part of your life.

(1)     Just Start - There is no preparation needed. You can start today. Choose a time of the day and a place in your home to do your meditation. Make any small changes you need to make to your schedule and lifestyle, so that this habit is encouraged and has its place. For example, setting up an alarm clock for the meditation time, or preparing a cushion and corner of the room for the practice. Commit to practicing every day.

Starting even with one minute per day is ok, as long as it’s every day.

(2)     Have No Expectation - Expectation is the antithesis of meditation. If you learn to do meditation for meditation’s sake, its wonderful benefits will come to you in time (not in one week though). Think of meditation like taking a shower, or sleeping. Simply something you need to do every day.

(3)     Depth - Don’t worry about this until you have already built in the habit, otherwise you might end up being discouraged or building expectation. But, in general, depth means to have the attitude, during the meditation session, that the object of meditation is the most important thing in your life. At that moment, have the attitude that it’s the only thing that exists in the universe – your whole life. Meditate as if your head was on fire – that would get your full attention wouldn’t it? That type of attitude. Yet, don’t worry about succeeding at it. Just keep building it. This is the practice.

(4)      Integration How to take the space you find during meditation and integrate it in your daily life? Well, one activity at a time. Pick one new activity every week (like walking, eating, talking, dressing, etc.) and focus on bringing the meditation energy to that activity, whenever it happens, during the whole week. Then, in the following week, you keep doing it but add a second activity. Do this for 20 weeks, and mindfulness will have impregnated your life.

When to meditate

Is it better to meditate in the morning or night?

It depends on the person. I personally started meditating at night and after a few years moved into the morning. All things being equal, however, meditating in the morning is better. The main reasons are:

     You can focus better – you are more well rested, refreshed, and probably have fewer things going on in your mind.

     You also set a better tone for the rest of your day.

     You make sure it gets done. Leaving it for the night can be a sure recipe for postponement.

On the other hand meditating at night does help you have a better sleep. Also, if you are a night person, you may find yourself more alert for practicing at night.

Where to meditate

Should I always meditate in the same place?

Meditating always in the same place and time is a good help in focusing the mind. Your brain associates that place with the practice, so it is easier for you to focus. There is less distraction involved.

So, to sum it up: have your favorite meditation place in your house, but from time to time try different places. You should not be limited to finding your inner peace only in one or two places.

Session length

How long should I meditate for?

What’s the ideal session duration?

You can start with anything – even 1 minute a day is good. The most important thing is that it be every day. After one week you can then increase to 3 minutes, then increase 2 minutes per week until you arrive at your desired length – I suggest 20 minutes for beginners.

If you have good discipline and willpower, you can start with 20min straight away. As long as you do it every single day, and increase it little by little, it doesn’t matter how you start.

There is no “maximum time” for meditation. However, in any case, don’t meditate longer than your motivation – or you may get tired of the practice. Don’t stretch your motivation. Protect it. This is very important.

Remember that consistency is the most important. 1min every day is better than half an hour once a week.

Self-creation or self-discovery

Do you believe we create ourselves, or discover ourselves? Why?

We create ourselves as person, as ego and personality – this is a power few are aware of.

We discover ourselves as Self, as Consciousness – this is a journey few are attracted to.

Postures

What are the best postures to meditate? 

Is it okay to meditate in bed to build habit?

The body and mind are VERY connected, so they influence each other. The posture you take can help concentration, or can act as a distraction. The ideal position to meditate is seated down, without leaning your spine. You can sit on a cushion on the floor or, if that is too hard, on a chair. The key element of this posture is having the spine fully erect and unsupported (from the pelvis to the neck), and your arms and legs relaxed.

Having said that, it is definitely possible and good to meditate laying down also. Especially if you are in your first weeks of practice, or if you are doing guided meditations, I would not worry much about doing it laying down. Whatever is comfortable for you and get you started, is great.

Eyes Open or Closed ?

Should I keep my eyes open or closed?

Meditating with closed eyes has the advantage of helping you move into deeper states of meditation. However, beginners may find that the mind wanders more if the eyes are closed, or is more likely to fall asleep. Meditating with eyes open helps your mind be more present and alert, and may make integrating the meditation state in your daily life a bit easier so both are possible. 

In some traditions the eyes are closed during meditation (mostly the Hindu based practices); in others the eyes are kept half-open, with the gaze resting in a place in front of you (usually in Buddhist and Chinese traditions).

Breathing & Meditation

What is the best breathing method for meditation?

For meditation and yoga, the best is diaphragmatic breathing, which better oxygenates the blood and calms the mind. Once you get used to having diaphragmatic breathing your default breathing pattern (for your whole day, not only meditation session!), if you then try to do “chest breathing” again, you will see the big difference it makes. Most adults move their upper chest (not their belly) when they breathe.

Meditation Tips For Starting The Session

Start your practice with clear thinking and strong intentions. Make a part of your routine that Inhale 3 large breathes from Nose and Exhale from mouth then I say to yourself to you my mind: “At this moment I’m not interested in anything else in this universe. I’m not interested in any thought, memory or feeling. I’m only interested in the meditation. During this time, there is nothing more for me to think or do – only this! “ Starting with the right foot” like this, the distractions are usually less than before.

The best meditation

Is there a form of meditation that is better than others?

Yes – the one that works for you.

All authentic forms of meditation will yield a certain set of common benefits, common results. There is no reason for you to force upon yourself a certain type of meditation. Try different ones, explore, and stick to what works for you. By time you may also change practice, as your needs change.

Which technique to follow

Which meditation technique should I do? Should I stick to one or try many?

In the beginning it is a good idea to go and try all the ones you feel attracted to, but make sure to practice each of the ones you like for a few days at least, to have a real taste for it. Once you’ve found one that matches you well, then you will grow more by sticking to it, instead of jumping around to other practices. Otherwise it will be like moving one inch in ten directions (instead of ten inches in one direction).

Is meditation dangerous?

Most scientific studies found only benefits for meditation. However, some people – which had latent psychotic or bipolar disorders, or strong PTSD – have reported that certain types of meditation practice increased their symptoms. Other people report other types of problems (such as social alienation, dissociation, repression of sexual desires, etc.), although they are usually only present in people that intensely practice meditation as part of a spiritual path, or in a cult.

We can hurt ourselves with basically any activity, so using common sense is important (although not always enough). Just like physical activity is excellent for health and promotes well-being, but can also cause injury depending on how it is done, meditation is also great for you, but needs care and attention.

Am I actually meditating?

How do you know if you are actually meditating vs. just sitting quietly?

If during your whole session you were distracted with your thoughts, and were just physically there, you were not meditating. On the other hand, if you were exercising some control over your attention, bringing it back to your object of focus, and noticing when you get distracted, then you were meditating as simple as that.

What changed in you?

What is the difference you see in yourself as a result of meditation?

This is very personal, so if you ask 10 long-term meditators, you may get 10 different answers. It should be inner freedom. Not being a slave to any feelings, thoughts, or self-talk anymore – which is a result of realizing the true nature of myself and the mind. You should be able to quiet your mind at will, and to dissolve any thought simply by looking at it.

Insights during meditation

What to do when brilliant thoughts and insights come during meditation?

Meditation helps clear the mind. So it is natural that creativity will flow better. Many meditators know that they have their best ideas or insights when they are meditating. I also feel the same.

You don’t want to interrupt the meditation, but also don’t want to lose the insight. So, what to do? When you have thoughts just give message to your mind with strong intention that you will not forget and will be able to work on after your practice. You might need a bit of training to do this, but it’s definitely possible. And it will make your mind stronger.

Deep meditation signs

How to know when you reach a deeper level in meditation?

Signs that you are in a deep meditation session:

One-pointedness of attention

Lack of distractions

Absence of discursive thinking

Body and mind feeling one

Forgetting about time

Deep sense of quietude

Body gets immovable like a mountain

You forget about your body and everything else

• feelings of joy, bliss, or deep pleasure in the body and mind

Different traditions point out different signs, but these seem to be common to many.

How to deepen my practice

If you have already built up the habit, and now wish to deepen your practice, here are a few things you can do:

§ increase the length of practice (if you were doing 20 min, try now 30, 40, or 1h)

§ increase the intensity of the practice (by increasing the focus and the intention)

§ increase the breadth of your practice (by bringing meditation more and more to your daily life, via mini mindfulness moments during the day)

§ participate on some meditation retreats

§ read more about meditation, meet different meditation teachers and practitioners

• Before meditation
• Relax your body and breath, to calm down and center yourself;
• Gladden the mind with gratitude or other positive feelings;
• Have strong intention in your mind
• During meditation
• Don’t feel bad about getting distracted
• Find delight in the moments of concentration
• After meditation
• Move out of meditation gently
• Take notes in your journal

You can also try other techniques as well. Finally, pay attention to your first moments after you finish you meditation. How you transition from meditation to activity greatly influences how much of the “meditation feeling” you will take into your day. Transitions smoothly; do not hurry into the next task.

 Meditation and affirmations

Is it ok to combine meditation with an affirmation exercise? Or should I keep them separate?

It would wise to keep them separate, as they are different exercises and have different purposes. Do your normal meditation practice and, at the end, practice your affirmations. They will be much more powerful once your mind gets quieted by the meditation.

Meditation and visualization

Is meditating and guided visualization the same thing?

No, they are not the same thing. Guided visualizations are good, especially for a start. But in terms of benefits they are like the little sister of meditation.

In guided visualizations you are keeping quiet in body and mind and focusing only on one thing. So in this sense it is similar.

The difference is that instead of focusing on something that naturally exists in you (like your breath), you are focusing on something that is directing you from outside. And you are actively using your imagination (unlike meditation).

It’s a good way to start. But I encourage you to move to meditation practice when you feel ready.

Sharing your insights

Should I share with other people the insights I get through meditation? Or write them down?

Having a like-minded friend or partner on the same journey can be empowering. If you do, it can be great for you both to share these things; you will grow. This is one of the reasons why practicing in a community (sangha) is useful.

If you don’t have “meditation-minded” people among your friends/family, then you may feel that it’s better to keep your insights to yourself, rather than to expose yourself to the misunderstanding of others. These insights are deeply “personal”.

My partner does not meditate

Any tips for carving out meditation time when your partner doesn’t meditate?

Try waking up earlier than him or her, and doing your practice first thing in the morning. If waking up earlier does not work, I would suggest clearly explaining to your partner that you are building up this habit of meditation, and that you need his/her support. You can explain that it’s only going to be a few minutes per day that you will be “unavailable” and it would mean a lot to you if he/she helps you with that.

Meditation while at work

Any tips for integrating meditation while at work?

Try to bringing tiny mindful moments to your day. You can set an alarm beep or notification on your phone, and meditate one minute every hour. That will probably give you more results than 10 minutes of meditation once a day (although both are good and necessary).

If you work in front of a computer, for example, nobody will even noticed if you stop for one minute and bring your awareness to your body and breath. Sometimes even just having three deep, mindful breaths, can make a big difference.

Meditation and exercise

Should I meditate then work out, or work out then meditate?

If your exercise makes you exhausted, then meditate first. Because with your body exhausted you may fall asleep during meditation.

Otherwise, I feel it is better to exercise first, and then meditate. Practicing meditation after some light exercise can be very soothing. You may find that your mind is more vigilant and less busy with thoughts. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to calm down the breathing and heart rate after the exercise, so your body is more relaxed and calm.

Mindfulness in daily life

What are some hacks to integrate mindfulness in your day-to-day life?

It is essential to integrate mindfulness in your daily life. Your “formal sitting” will make your practice deeper; but bringing mindfulness into moments of your life will make your practice wider.

Both seated practice and “daily life practice” are essential; one is incomplete without the other. It’s like the two wings of a bird.

Here are moments of your day when you can stop, look inside, and take a deep breath:

While commuting

When you stop at the traffic light

While waiting for an elevator

Before unlocking your phone (when a notification beeps or call rings)

Before opening up your email inbox

Before starting a meal

Before you open the door of your house

When you start your car

Next time someone asks you a question or says something that you bothers you

When you hear the alarm clock in the morning

Try these. After a few days you will see that these “tiny moments” of mindfulness will make a real difference to the quality of your day, of your mind.

Watching the breath without controlling it

I can’t seem to focus on the breath without trying to control it

This is a very normal thing to happen in the beginning. Let it be. Give it some time. Just keep observing without the intention of changing it. If it changes as a result, that’s fine, but don’t do it intentionally. Be aware of the breath changing. That is enough.

How much do you wander

What percentage of the time does your mind wander during meditation? How much is “normal”?

This varies from person to person, and depending on how long you have been practicing. More important than the amount of time you are distracted is how many seconds it takes you to get back to your focus.

In general, however, do not think much of quantifying the quality of your meditation practice. It’s hard, because we always want to know “how well we are doing”, to then either feel proud, or bad about ourselves. This is not helpful, and this is not meditation. Simply follow the practice to the best of your ability. Keep your interest and your effort alive. Practice every day. This is enough for you to reap most of its benefits.

With time your ability to stay with the meditation object, undistracted, increases.

Micro-correcting your posture

What do you think about micro-correcting your posture?

Correcting your posture is a good thing. The posture is there to support your practice – the body affects the mind, so sitting in the meditation posture will help you keep focused and alert.

I would just be careful of not being too obsessed about it (I have been there…), as that will simply bring you more distraction. After you have sat for a few weeks, your body will likely find the right posture more quickly, and will feel more comfortable to stay with it.

Body Itching

What to do when the body itches during meditation? Or when my mind keeps playing songs?

Feel the itches and hear the songs. Label it mentally “body itching” or “memory of songs”; or simply, “sensation”, “memory”. Then guide your attention back to your meditation object.

One of the beautiful gifts of meditation is training not to react. Showing us that what we perceive is one thing, what we think/feel is one thing, and what we choose to do with it is another.

When it happens, see that you have a choice. And exercise your power. Your awareness will get more acute, and your self-control will be more powerful. Your body and mind are trying to distract you from the practice. Hold firm. You are the master of the house here.

Motivation swings

My motivation to meditate swings and it’s hard to keep at it

It’s absolutely normal to feel your motivation for meditation swing. It will happen many times. Each time it happens, you have a choice: to “follow” the motivation swing and give up, or to keep doing it no matter what.

Practice every day, even when you don’t feel motivated to do so. Practice even when you are busy, tired, angry, or messed up — actually, especially in those cases. Have it in your mind that meditation everyday is not an option; it’s just an essential part of your day. Think of meditation like taking a shower, or sleeping. Simply something you need to do every day.

The stronger is your resolve to continue meditating no matter what, the less these mood swings will have any impact on you. As Jack Canfield once said: “99% is a bitch; 100% is a breeze”.

If you decide that you will do meditation 100% of the days, no matter what, then motivation swings will not matter to you at all. And don’t question your determination, once made. This is the way to iron will, and it will serve you greatly in other aspects of your life as well.

Strong emotions in meditation

What to do when strong emotions come up in meditation, or in everyday life?

[Disclaimer: This is not medical advice, simply sharing an experience and insight from experienced meditators]

This is a very important question, because you need to take your meditation into your daily life. It is not meant to stay on the cushion.

Once you are in meditation, bring in, mentally, all the triggers for your aggression. And then be there. Keep breathing. Notice what happens to your body, to your muscles, to your nerves. Notice what is going on in your mind. Feel it deeply – but keep seated in meditation. Relax in it. Breathe into it. Don’t move. Don’t try to push this experience away. Let it be whatever it wants to be. You are experiencing everything from a neutral space, without reacting.

Now notice how you are the observer of all this. How you are capable of letting it all is there in your system, without you acting upon it. You are observing from a quiet place, a place of awareness. This is power.

Once in meditation visualize your deepest fears happening to you and If you felt it very vividly in your body and mind intensely then you should allow this image to subside and just go back to my breathing. I did this with fear, attachment, sadness, and other negative emotions. I must say that, as a result of this meditation exercise, they never again had the same power over me.

This may not be advisable for beginners, or if you have a strong trauma to work through. In this case, stabilize yourself in your practice for a while, before you start gradually bringing in strong emotions. Also, Yoga and Pranayama (breathing exercises) can be a stepping stone.

Infinite Regression ?

Regarding Self-Enquiry, does asking “Who am I?” or “Who is observing?” produce an infinite regression? When trying to observe the mind, I see myself going backwards endlessly.

This is a really good question – and also a product of a misconception. Inside yourself there is ultimately only one subject, which is your consciousness (yourself!). Everything else, however subtle, is simply phenomena being observed by you. Let’s say there you are observing your breath. Breath is the object, and you, consciousness, are the subject. Now let’s say you ask yourself “who is observing this? Or, by any other means, you turn your attention to the fact of observing itself. What has happened now is that the phenomenon of observation of breath is now the object of your observation – and you, consciousness, are still the subject.

At this point, if you contemplate further, “but I`m also observing this”, this may give you the impression that you are “moving deeper”, but actually what you are doing is simply repeating the previous step. It is like a cat trying to “grab”  the light beam from a laser pen. He puts his paws on top of it, on the floor, and immediately the beam of light is above his paws. Than the removes them and covers it again – only to find the beam of light still on top of his paws.

This is a trap. Like an “infinite loop” in computer science. A “vicious circle” So what is the way out? You have to turn the attention (which is the “light” of consciousness) onto it’s source (pure consciousness), the subject, without objectifying it. The “virtuous circle”, here, would be:

(1)  I pay attention to my breath (objectified attention on something external)

(2)   I realize the phenomena of observation itself, which is subtler than the breath, and pay attention to it (objectified attention in an internal perception)

(3)  I turn the attention to the source of the attention, which is the source of observing – my consciousness. This consciousness simply “shines” inside as “being”, as “I am”, without anything attached to it. And I let it rest there, moment after moment.

(By the way, step 2 is optional).

This is roughly the process of Self-Enquiry (atma-vichara) taught in Advaita Vedanta and, especially, by Sri Ramana Maharshi. Once your attention is in the self (consciousness), just keep it there, “rest” it there. After some time, a reality that is behind the “I Am”, behind consciousness and the subject, reveals itself. This is awakening.

How does it feel?

What does it feel like to meditate regularly?

Highly subjective, but here are few feelings.

BODY: the immediate effect of meditation on your body is a feeling of relaxation, ease, and comfort. You will feel this in some level from the first time you meditate. As the months (and years) pass, this becomes a skill that you are able to tap at will at any moment during your day. There are also several benefits to your nervous, respiratory and circulatory systems that you may feel or not, but that nevertheless happen.

MIND: meditating is like giving a break to your mind – or taking a break from your mind. In the first months/years you may feel the mind gets more active during meditation. In fact that is not necessarily true – it is only that now you are paying attention inside, instead of outside, so you see better what was already going on. If you continue practicing regularly, however, you will see that meditation become a space of refuge and nourishment. You will feel it improving your clarity of thought, memory, power of concentration, and resilience.

SPIRITUAL: for those that are into these type of things (like I am), meditating regularly is by far the best thing you can do on your spiritual journey, and, in many traditions, is almost the whole journey on itself.

This daily practice will enable you to achieve more of anything you seek in my life – be it health, wealth, performance, spirituality, etc. For all these things, your mind is the most essential tool, isn’t it?

Favorite Meditation

The best meditation is the one that works for you, at this moment in your life. You can try different ones, and see the ones that work.

Meditation Stigma ?

Why, in your opinion, is there such a stigma attached to meditation from those that don’t practice?

There is not much stigma anymore like it used to be few years back now that don’t mean that everybody you personally interact with will have a positive view on meditation. The reason for this is really simple: some people are still attached to a dogmatic “face value” opinion of meditation, and are not open-minded enough to try it out or even read about it.

Their opinion might come from a more fundamentalist religious path, which would see any eastern practice as something dangerous for their faith or at least suspicious. That is not true, as most meditation practices require no religious belief, and therefore do not fight with any belief you may have (or lack of it).

Or maybe they have a fundamentalist view of society and culture, which would see meditation as a pointless waste of time or something that “hippie people do to feel happy”. Not the case anymore – meditation is now mainstream, finally they may come from a fundamentalist view about science, though with the research available nowadays this is hardly justifiable.

Be as it may; don’t let their point of views bring you down. Stick to what you believe in, and hang out with people and online communities that are dedicated to personal growth and have a more forward thinking mindset. 

Is meditation dangerous?

This is a huge topic, and one for which there is very little research or consensus. Most scientific studies found only benefits for meditation. However, some people – which had latent psychotic or bipolar disorders, or strong PTSD – have reported that certain types of meditation practice increased their symptoms. Other people report other types of problems (such as social alienation, dissociation, repression of sexual desires, etc.), although they are usually only present in people that intensely practice meditation as part of a spiritual path, or in a cult.

We can hurt ourselves with basically any activity, so using common sense is important (although not always enough). Just like physical activity is excellent for health and promotes well-being, but can also cause injury depending on how it is done, meditation is also great for you, but needs care and attention.

In general, however, meditation is pretty safe, and brings positive effects to your body, mind and heart. I believe that, for anybody out there, there is always a type of meditation they can safely do and benefit from.

Ending my compulsions

Meditation helped me get perspective on one of my biggest compulsions. Now how do I end it entirely?

[Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. Simply personal experienced by various meditator.]

Now answering your question, bringing the “state” of meditation into the compulsion when and where it happens. Since you have been practicing meditation for a while, you know the “feeling” of it, you know how different the mind is during meditation. So, during your day, when compulsion appears, bring in that meditation feeling. Then watch the difference in your body and mind before bringing the meditation and after it.

On the flip side, practice bringing your compulsion triggers inside your formal meditation practice. One day when you sit in meditation and feel your session is going deep, start bringing to mind the several triggers for your compulsion. Observe the effects of it in your body, in your nerves, in your mind. Learn to refine your attention to catch the “triggers” (external and internal) that produce that state. And observe how there is a space between you and the feeling – and the ability to choose to identify with it or not, to follow it or not.

With that experience you can feel the power that you have to deal with your compulsion from a state of clarity, sanity and calmness.

Learn to find the space between the trigger for the compulsion and the compulsion itself. This is a space of power and freedom.

You can do the same with other emotions that trouble you.