Measuring Success

We all yearn for Success in our lives, but what is Success? While we expend enormous efforts to reach the goal as defined by Success, the image of Success in our mind as a concept, is nebulous at best and inchoate at worst. We imbibe the idea of Success from many sources- some from our childhood days when we watched our idols playacting their vision of Success. Some we derive from the perception of what we lacked since our early days. Often it is just based on what our peers want in their life. The goal remains ill-formed or over time becomes sharper and crystalizes into a vision. We then spend the remaining part of our life to manifest this goal. Depending on the value system of the individual, there is a single-minded pursuit of these goals or half-hearted attempts followed by failure, rejection, dejection and hopelessness.

 There are two aspects to a goal; one is the goal itself, and second is the yardstick to measure if the goal has been successfully reached or not. Most goals are related to 

1. Acquiring- Money, fame, name, possessions (house, plane, cars, gadgets, etc.), health, looks, physique.
2. Becoming- pilot, CEO, CxO, President, a prominent person.

Typically, our peer network defines the benchmark of Success for these goals. The peer network is the network that we spend most of the time, benchmarking ourselves to verify if we have achieved our goal or not. We define our entire state of existence based on how much we have accomplished. Our emotional state, confidence in self, happiness, relationships are all determined by this sense of accomplishment.

Unfortunately, the external world, people, events and entities that are beyond our control determine both the goal and the yardstick. When we set our goals based on the external world, we become a puppet subject to the vagaries of nature. We are then like a boat adrift in the sea, going wherever the wind and the wave take us. Our life also becomes a Yo-Yo waxing and waning based on these outcomes. A more disturbing feature of such an existence is the emptiness and the hollowness that accrues, once we have reached the destination. The degree of purposelessness is directly proportional to the amount of sacrifice and single-minded pursuit in achieving this goal. It is not uncommon to see individuals, reach absolute nadir after reaching a state of apparent zenith.

 When we take a step back to view our lives objectively, the realization dawns that somewhere we have led ourselves astray. Do we want to subject our lives to such a mechanism of existence? Do we want to be in control of a reality which is beyond our comprehension? Do we want to subject our lives to such a purposeless vacillation? Do we want to wobble forever till we bite the dust? As we pose these questions, an inner calling replies - there must be a better mechanism of living—an arrangement that is closer to our existence, one that is determined by us. When perceived from this vantage point, Success should be a constant upward journey as we make the right choices. The path should be as enjoyable as the destination. And there should be no end. As we reach higher, there should be more to climb. Such would be a state of an idyllic existence.

 Viewed from this backdrop, it is clear that our current trajectory of life is untenable. A river meanders and one cannot force-fit it into a particular direction. So is our life, there is an innate nature to the course of life, a path which we cannot arbitrarily alter. While it has to adhere to some natural principles, these cannot be subject to the vagaries of some vague definitions outside us. We need to recalibrate our life to be in tune with our real existence. Our true selves have to merge with our righteous paths.

 Once we concede the truth that Success is best measured from within and cannot base itself on an external yardstick, it is natural to wonder- With what do I replace the external criterion? How can we create a benchmark that may not be entirely objective (not necessarily tangible) but gives a clear sense of reality? The compass should shepherd us in the right direction and give us a real feeling of growth and happiness as we forge ahead. 

 Fortunately, we do not need to look too far. Humans are born with a smorgasbord of potential and talents, most of which we are entirely oblivious. While it is true that we are not cognizant of our potential, our sensibility of ourselves is precisely the reverse. Most often, we are sure of our talents and potential. When asked about our strengths and weaknesses, we rattle them off with ease, little imagining that we might have many more skills and potential than we ever imagined. What if there is a singer, a poet, a musician or a painter hidden within us. When we do not experience potential, we deny its very existence. In truth, we express a fraction of our potential. This, we all know as a theory. The question however arises- how do we dig deeper. What holds us back? More importantly, how does one fathom potential imagined only in the wildest dreams?

 The key to unlocking our most profound potential is oodles of curiosity and a sense of fearlessness. What holds us back is our comfort zone and fear. The deeper we go, the more fearful we are of uncovering aspects that may us throw us out of our comfort zone. So, we never venture into uncharted territories. The answer lies in pushing aspects of ourselves that are uncomfortable. Try what you do not like. Experiment with What you dislike intensely. Flirt with elements which you hate. The more we push ourselves, the faster we shed our inhibitions. However, if in the background fear lurks, then anxiety will take over and pull oneself back. If the background is one of unbridled curiosity and intense awareness of oneself, we will discover something new in the whole experience. And in that experience, we will find an aspect of our potential. Unfortunately, many shackles prevent us from realizing our true selves.

 The worst shackles that we cover ourselves us with are our self-definitions. I can do this; I cannot do that, I am good at this, I am not so good at that- we continuously tell ourselves. The more we indulge in such assertions, the more self-limiting they become. 

 Our shackles can also be our strengths, and they can weaken us. As we become stalwarts, our usage of the skill becomes more pronounced. We try to use it in all circumstances, shying away from trying anything anew. We shirk from putting to use any of the lesser-known talents. People around us do not make things easier. Eulogies, adulations rodomontades us, and we stop listening to naysayers and people around us who point us in the direction of reality. Over time, ego and fear override our curiosity and the desire to try something different. The cycle continues until a big letdown. How do we inure ourselves from such influences?

 The key lies in not taking our talents too seriously. An approach of humility, wherein one ascribes all abilities to the universe, helps us keeping us in kilter. It then becomes clear that what is admirable is not that a man displays extraordinary genius. The more profound questions arise- what did he do to build on the preexisting talent? Did he sharpen it, make it more pronounced or just use it as it was? A person endowed with a lesser capability, but who makes more of it is more laudable than a person who comes with talent and does little to build on them. If one can imbibe such an intent deep in the psyche, nothing can uproot us- neither praise nor censure. 

As we approach our life with deep humility and refuse to let praise or Success derail us from the path, our life takes an upturn. Our natural curiosity to know more about our potential increases. And we then embark on the journey to experience the unbounded qualities that are unmanifested within us. The more we experience, the faster we grow. The experience of growth shows itself in multiple dimensions. At a physiological level, our health improves; we start looking younger. We become more boundless in our energy, and mundane aspects stop bothering us so much. The impact is most dramatic at the level of the spirit. As our life unwinds and unfolds its destiny, a profound sense of contentment and happiness engulfs us. The feeling of intense satisfaction is the best antidote for depression, boredom, anxiety and any other forms of stress. The voice of the soul though gentle and soft can overpower even the harshest forces of nature. A cautionary note- such an achievement is not a one-off occurrence.

 Growth is a constant process. It requires us to discover more of our talents, most of it hidden within us. As we find out more, it behooves us to manifest them fearlessly. Fear, comfort zones can hold us back and prevent us from trying out new talent. Often, it is the fear of moving away from our zones of security that pulls us back. Would we go beyond our security to pursue a lifelong dream? Many a time, we give reasons- comforts, commitments and uncertainty in the new venture. Am I good enough? I have never tried these talents. What if I Fail? How can I support my family? What if I uproot everything in the pursuit of something that ends as a failure? We start planning for failure even before we start the journey. This needs to stop. We cannot keep giving reasons for our actual paths.

 Doubts, self-questioning, anxiety, fear have to be consigned to the dustbin of our history. Armed with unbridled curiosity, fearlessness, and a desire to experience all aspects of ourselves should be the motto of our life. Battling comfort zones all time, confronting our dislikes and hatred, facing them head-on and questioning them till then vanish should be the essence of our lives. Discovering a new nuance of our potential, fearlessly manifesting them, learning from the experience and repeating this endlessly could be the most enchanting reality of our lives. The joy then becomes the path, and the destination does not hold any allure. Life then condenses to an infinite number of moments rather than chunks of time. We start living in these moments, and that is when the realization dawns - the universal truth, god or the supreme force (whatever we may call them) resides in these infinitesimal moments.