The measure of life: feats + dreams.

FAREWELL TO A FRIEND.

Last week I learned from a private message on LinkedIn that someone I worked with in the past just passed away on December 19th.

After finding out I started remembering the time we spent together.

I must say we did not hit it off right away when we first met.  I think we both had reservations about the other’s skills, experience, and attitude.

On the other hand, we were on the same team, we wanted the projects we had to be successful from both a delivery and commercial viewpoint and to do so, we knew we had to work together effectively.

Through working with this man, I learned that sometimes people have a strong opinion on things and rather than trying to convince them otherwise you just have to let them try things their own way and be available at a future time when they might request assistance.

No judgement, no grudges, no hard feelings.

If they ever come looking for assistance and they find a no-judgment, open conversation then a new floor of the relationship is created that supports a higher level of understanding and work.

In time I considered this man a reliable source of information that helped me guide commercial efforts and I believe our client also learned to appreciate his way of work.

I left that company in 2013 and he stayed for another three years. When he was out of the job he wrote me to ask if I could send his resume to the company I was working for and to other contacts.

I did so, unfortunately, there was nothing available in my network.

Sometimes I wish I had the power to just call people up and say: “Hey, this person is looking for a job you should grab him now” and get people a job right away. That would be awesome, don't you think?

To be honest, I do not know if he ever found another good-paying job.

While we were not close, we kept in touch throughout the years, mostly through LinkedIn where we would send each other “happy birthday” and “congrats for the new role” messages.

You might think these system messages might be canned, unoriginal, or even cold but at the same time they are a quick way to keep in touch, let someone know you are and you can add a couple words of your own real fast, to make them more personal

I for one am happy we used them.

He had just turned 58 a few days before his passing and I currently have feelings of withdrawal when I realize I will not ever see his face again; those big fat glasses around his eyes and I will not hear that particular laughter he had.

I will remember him fondly for two main reasons:

First, because working him was a learning experience that made me a better professional.

But probably more importantly because his passing is making me realize something.

You see, sometimes when a close, dear person passes the pain is just too intense to learn anything from it in the short term.

There are a lot of emotions going on, things one might have said or might have not said, things one wanted to do but didn’t, or things one did not want to do, but did anyway.

Regrets are often present when someone real close goes and it takes some time to come to terms with them.

On the other hand, when a person I either did not know or knew very little passes on, I often do not dwell on it.

“That’s life, we will all get there” and move on.

But my friend here falls into a different categoty:

A person I met for a while, developed a good working relationship, were part of a team that achieved some cool things together and when the time came we went different ways, wishing well on one another happy we got to meet.

I hope he was living a happy, satisfied life when he departed. I do know he was a husband and a father and I hope his family is doing fine and find comfort in the good times they got to spend together.

And that takes me to this.

The real tragedy of the current times we live when so many lives are being lost is that each of those lives has special qualities, skills and experiences that will no longer get shared.

Moreover, most of the people we are losing had dreams, wanted better things for themselves and for their loved ones, more time together if nothing else.

What’s the value of all that? Is it even measurable?

Somehow, the prospect of dying without achieving anything of real importance is more present now than ever, isn’t it?

I used to think, “wow, the average male leaves 80 years old I still have a lot of time to do stuff”.

I no longer feel that way.

Anyone can go at any moment, and yes I am aware that has always been the case but it just feels more real now.

I can hear the clock ticking in the background in a way I could not before and it is making me nervous.

It is making me realize it is getting late to do all those things I said I wanted to but have not.

And even later to tell all the special people in my life how thankful I am for having them and for all they have taught me.

Being alive has become a gift as each day is a new opportunity to keep working on one’s chosen life projects and to spend time with the people that make this whole trip worth while.

Thanks for reminding me of that Pablito, farewell and godspeed.