No Means Yes

The most valuable lesson I learnt in financial sales is "pushing for nos."

"No." "Not For Me." "Not Today." "Not at the Moment." "Not Interested"

Each of these seeming rejections meant that I could avoid wasting time with a prospect who just did not need what I was offering, and it allowed me to focus on people with actual needs.

Think about these scenarios:

You are in a committed relationship. Would you entertain any kind of external attention from someone else?

Or...

You have just had a big bowl of fufu and egusi soup. Would you accept the offer of a three-course meal?

What about...

If someone handed you a big wad of cash for no service rendered?

Let's flip the script;

how would you look at the person who cheats on their partners, greedily accepts excess food, or collects money for no reason? Dubious, right?

All of these scenarios are equivalent to going after every opportunity that comes your way.

What am I getting at?

As a personal growth coach, I have witnessed countless individuals grappling with the fear of missing out on opportunities. The pressure to seize every chance that comes their way often leaves them feeling overwhelmed and spread too thin.

I want you to really understand the importance of self-respect and self-restraint when evaluating opportunities. Understanding that not every opportunity is meant for you can create a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

In his famous book, "The Paradox of Choice," psychologist Barry Schwartz explains how an abundance of choices can lead to decision fatigue and decreased satisfaction.

When we feel compelled to pursue every opportunity, we risk losing sight of our true passions and values. Limiting our choices and focusing on what aligns with our goals can increase happiness and fulfilment.

Take these into consideration the next time you face the dilemma of figuring out what opportunities to pursue:

• Am I showing self-respect?

Research in positive psychology highlights the significance of self-respect in building resilience and a strong sense of self-worth.

Embracing self-respect allows you to set boundaries and prioritize opportunities that align with your values and aspirations.

It empowers you to say 'no' to opportunities that may not align with your long-term goals.

• Am I showing self-restraint?

Psychologist Walter Mischel's famous "marshmallow experiment" demonstrated the importance of self-restraint in achieving long-term success. Participants who resisted immediate gratification by delaying eating the marshmallow were found to have better life outcomes.

Employing self-restraint when evaluating opportunities helps you discern which truly serves your growth and development.

• Am I being driven by FOMO?

FOMO is a common phenomenon in our digitally connected world. Constant exposure to others' achievements and experiences can trigger a sense of inadequacy and the fear that you are missing out on something better.

Understanding that not every opportunity is meant for you can help alleviate FOMO and allow you to focus on your unique journey.

• Am I embracing mindful decision-making?

Practising mindfulness can enhance your decision-making abilities. By being present and self-aware, you can better assess the potential impact of an opportunity on your life.

Mindful decision-making lets you filter out distractions and make choices aligned with your authentic self.

I encourage you to adopt a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. Trust that the right opportunities will come your way when you align with your purpose and values. Learning to employ self-respect and self-restraint will lead to a more focused and fulfilling life and open doors to opportunities that truly resonate with your aspirations.

Remember, it's not about saying 'yes' to everything that comes your way; it's about saying 'yes' to the opportunities that truly align with your authentic self.

Have you had a decision-making dilemma about what opportunities are right for you?

How did you figure it out?

If you found this helpful, share it with your network to impact someone else.

Until next time!

#CandidlyCleo