The Meaning Makers: Rewrite the Narrative of Your Life (Part 5 of 6)

Ever stopped to think about who's actually writing the script of your life? There’s a quote I love from Tony Robbins: “The only thing that controls our lives is the meaning we give to events.” Take a second to sit with that. Not the events themselves, but the meanings we attach to them. Mind-bending, right?

It’s a profound reminder that, in the grand theatre of life, we’re not just actors - we’re the playwrights, the directors, and, yes, even that picky critic who sits in the back row. (You know the one.)

But here's the plot twist: We often don't realise we're holding the pen. Instead, we let everything else - our environment, other people's opinions, that one comment from third grade - write our story for us… defining our narrative. We hand over the pen, and with it, our power.

Let’s change that now!

The Traffic Jam Theory

Let me paint you a picture: Two people, same traffic jam. One's turning various shades of purple, convinced the universe is personally sabotaging their day. The other's vibing to a podcast, using the time to plan their next move. Same situation, completely different stories.

This is what Tony means about being "meaning makers." It's not what happens to us that shapes our future - it's the meaning we stick onto it. Is that rejection a dead end, or is it life's way of pointing you toward a better path? That failure - is it proof you're not good enough, or is it just data about what doesn't work? You get to choose. (Pretty powerful stuff, right?)

Are your struggles setbacks, or are they lessons? Is rejection failure, or is it redirection? You get to decide.

Taking Back the Pen

Most of us have spent years letting others assign meaning to our experiences. Parents, teachers, that weirdly judgmental barista - they've all had a hand in shaping how we interpret life. But here's your wake-up call: You're an autonomous soul with the power of choice. You can choose meanings that lift you up instead of ones that weigh you down.

Does this mean you'll never feel bad? Of course not. Pain is part of the human experience - but suffering? (staying in that pain) That's optional. It's like the difference between getting caught in the rain (unavoidable sometimes) and choosing to stand there complaining about it for hours (definitely avoidable).

You don’t have to live in the hurt. Instead, you can use it to fuel your growth. The moment you realise this is the moment you reclaim your narrative.

Emotions as Growth Triggers

Here’s a radical reframe picking up from Fear (Part 2 of 6): negative emotions like fear, sadness, or anger aren’t your enemies. They’re signals. They’re calls to action, asking you to step up and grow. When you feel tension, it’s a cue to pay attention.

Think about it. How many times have you dreaded confronting a problem, only to realise afterward that it wasn’t as big as you made it out to be? Facing our fears shrinks them, and with every step forward, we gain freedom.

Your Future Self: The Ultimate Coach

I touched on this a little in Breaking the Complaint Loop (Part 4 of 6), but this time, let’s go deeper into designing your personal coach. Ready?

Here we go!

One of the most powerful tools (and my personal favourite hack) for rewriting your narrative is cultivating an internal coach - your future self. Imagine this: the version of you who has already overcome today’s challenges, the one who’s figured it all out. What would they say? How would they guide you?

This idea comes from the late, great Burt Goldman, who explained that through visualisation and imagination, you can tap into a future, evolved version of yourself. That future you becomes a mentor, offering insight and calm clarity for the decisions you’re facing now.

Here’s the thing - this isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s rainbows and unicorns. It’s about having an internal coach who keeps your vision alive, nudging you to make choices that align with where you want to go, not where you’ve been stuck. Let’s face it: most of us know exactly what we should be doing - it’s those old habits, those well-worn grooves of self-sabotage, that trip us up every time.

Your internal coach is here to remind you of your purpose and your progress. It’s about turning down the volume on the critic in your head and letting your coach - your wiser, future self - take the lead.

Instead of obsessing over the pain of the past or the uncertainty of the future, this inner voice helps you zero in on what truly matters: the present. The small, intentional steps you take today are what carry you forward.

As Tony Robbins says, “It’s not in what you tell people, but in what you do.”

So, here’s your call to action: what would Future You do right now? Listen, and let them guide the way.

The Practical Bit (Because Theory Only Gets Us So Far):

So, how do we start rewriting our narratives? Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Be Curious About Your Story: When you feel stuck, ask yourself, What meaning am I assigning to this? Is it empowering or limiting?

2. Choose a New Meaning: If the current narrative isn’t serving you, rewrite it. Instead of “This failure proves I’m not good enough,” try “This experience is teaching me what doesn’t work.”

3. Tune Into Your Emotions: Use negative emotions as signposts. What are they trying to tell you? Where do you need to grow?

4. Call on Your Inner Coach: Picture your future self—what advice would they give you? Let that voice guide your actions.

5. Take Aligned Action: Meaning isn’t just about what you think—it’s about what you do. Choose actions that reflect the story you want to live.

Final Thoughts

You're not just living your story - you're creating it, moment by moment, meaning by meaning. Every challenge, every joy, every “what if” is yours to define. Don’t let the world write your story for you. So take back that pen. It’s time to Decide.

Choose interpretations that empower you. Write a narrative that lights you up and moves you forward. Because at the end of the day, the only story that truly matters is the one you believe about yourself.