Mean Girls Don’t Make Leaders: Embracing True Leadership to Build a Legacy of Sisterhood

Workplace culture can be a battlefield where ambition is often measured by who gets to the top, no matter who they trample along the way. But true leadership isn’t about power plays or personal gain—it’s about the mission and lifting others to succeed. In too many environments, a toxic "Mean Girl Gang" mentality takes root, turning workplaces into arenas of manipulation and fear.

This harsh reality hit home when a former colleague, worn down by the toxicity at my previous organization, finally decided to leave. She described it as being ruled by a "Mean Girl Gang"—a clique more obsessed with stepping over others than advancing any real purpose. I knew exactly what she meant. I had seen this insidious culture up close, where ambition wasn’t about striving for excellence but crushing anyone who wasn’t part of the trusted inner circle. If you weren't in the gang, you were sidelined, manipulated, and gaslit. It wasn’t just demoralizing; it was soul-crushing. Instead of driving productivity or fostering creativity, it left employees in constant?fear, bracing themselves for the next blow. Survival became the primary focus, not innovation. In this atmosphere, fear thrived; the only thing that grew was the distance between leadership and real progress.

When my former colleague reached out, it came at a time of personal reflection. I had just spent a week caring for my retired Army mentor as she recovered from surgery. I met her in 1991 when I was a young Staff Sergeant, and she was a Chief Warrant Officer and the lead case agent on a high-profile espionage investigation. I worked under her command and watched in awe as she led me and a team of Alpha males with calm authority. She didn’t need to raise her voice or play mind games—her leadership spoke for itself. She inspired confidence and loyalty.

My mentor enlisted in the Women’s Army Corps during the 1970s when women were sidelined and had scarce leadership opportunities. But she shattered those barriers, leading with grace and power. My mentor showed me that authentic leadership isn’t about domination or control; it’s about integrity, respect, and the courage to make tough decisions. She taught me that leadership is about empowering your people to reach their full potential, take ownership of their roles, and contribute their best ideas without fear, knowing they are valued and supported in pursuing a shared vision.

Before her surgery, my mentor introduced me to her Army buddy —one of the first female Army paratroopers. My mentor and the paratrooper have been friends for many decades. The paratrooper was diagnosed with dementia. When her condition worsened, my mentor traveled to pack up her life and moved her across the country, settling her into a beautiful memory care facility just up the street from my mentor’s home?so she could care for her for?the rest of her life. The paratrooper is thriving and provides daily walks for a neighbor’s dog, who is unable to do it herself.

My mentor, the paratrooper, and I embody a legacy of female leadership different from the “Mean Girl Gang.” Back in the day, there were so few of us in our workplace that we coveted the friendships we established because we needed each other. There is something sacred about belonging to a sisterhood where the goal is not to outshine but to nurture each other’s brilliance.? Knowing that true success comes from lifting others as you rise is a profound honor in a world that sometimes rewards cruelty and competition. The “Mean Girl Gang” will never understand the power of that kind of sisterhood, but those of us who do know it to be one of life’s greatest gifts.

When I shared this story with my former colleague, she half-jokingly asked if my “Girl Gang” was accepting new members. I told her we were and welcomed her into a circle where strength comes from solidarity, not sabotage.??

So, how do we foster a culture of real sisterhood in the workplace? It begins by leading with intention, lifting as we rise, and valuing collaboration over competition.?Here are seven essential tips for creating a strong work environment built on empowerment, not rivalry:

1. Celebrate Each Other’s Wins: Make it a point to highlight and celebrate your colleagues' achievements. Recognizing others' successes creates a culture where women feel supported, not threatened, by one another’s accomplishments.

2. Create Safe Spaces for Open Dialogue: Encourage open and honest conversations without fear of judgment. When women feel safe to share their ideas and concerns, it fosters innovation and deeper connections.

3. Mentorship Over Competition: Be a mentor, not a rival. Share your knowledge, offer guidance, and actively help your colleagues grow. The success of one strengthens the entire team.

4. Stand Up for Each Other: Toxic environments thrive on isolation. Refuse to engage in gossip or power games, and instead, stand up for your colleagues. Having each other's backs builds trust and solidarity.

5. Trust Your People to Make Decisions: Empower your team by trusting them to make the right calls. Provide the guidance and resources they need but give them the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. Growth often comes from challenges and missteps, not just successes.

6. Avoid Micromanagement—Let Them Find the Solution: Leadership isn't about dictating every step. Trust your team to develop their own solutions. You create space for creativity, innovation, and ownership by allowing them to problem-solve. Your role as a leader is to set the direction, not tell them how to “make the sausage.”

7. Foster Inclusivity, Not Exclusivity: True strength comes from diverse perspectives. Make your circle wide, inclusive, and welcoming to all, not just a select few. A strong "Girl Gang" lifts every woman in the room, creating a culture where everyone can thrive.

By following these principles, we can transform workplaces from battlegrounds of ambition into spaces where leadership is rooted in mutual respect and the shared pursuit of something greater than individual gain.

As Margaret Thatcher said:?

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”?

Here’s to the women who choose collaboration over competition and?understand that leadership is about building something bigger than themselves. In the end, there’s enough room in this tent for all of us to thrive.

About Gina L. Osborn

Gina L. Osborn is a former FBI Assistant Special Agent in Charge, former Chief of Safety for LA Metro, and recognized expert in security, crisis management, and leadership. With extensive experience combating international terrorism, cybercrime, and violent crime, she is committed to helping organizations develop effective, proactive safety strategies and shares lessons on authentic leadership, leading through chaos, crisis, and change, and rising to the top in male-dominated fields. To learn more, visit www.ginalosborn.com .