MEAL TIME
Meal time can often be a contentious time for children and parents. Parents want their children to eat healthy, well balanced meals both for their current health and to teach about nutrition in the future. Children mainly want to eat things that taste good or eat to get a yummy dessert. There can be, and often is, a tension during meals where the parent may request that the child have "2 more bites before getting dessert" and the child will try to negotiate down to 1. The parent will feel that they don't need to negotiate with their child, nor should they, but how can they create an environment where the child feels successful? There are a few key elements that invariably work with most children and they include choice, portion size, modeling and menu planning.
The choice is not that the child chooses what he or she wants to eat, but that he or she chooses to be healthy. For example, parents can talk to children about the importance of good, healthy choices and then praise them when they request one of those healthy choices. If the child tells the parent that he or she wants an apple, for example, the parent should tell that child what a wise choice that is and perhaps even make up a story about a child eating an apple and the amazing benefits of eating fruits and vegetables. As a recurring theme, children love to be praised, especially by parents. The praise should also focus on the child feeling proud of himself or herself as opposed to the parent telling the child that the parent is proud. The slight nuance will allow the child to build self-confidence in both the choice being made and himself or herself.
Small children eat small portions (or at least they should) and parents need to be sure that they are giving their children an age appropriate serving size. If a child is able to eat everything on the plate without being "encouraged" to finish, he or she will feel like a winner. I don't know if it has ever happened to you but when my children have an empty bowl after eating noodles they always show me the empty bowl in anticipation of the praise they are going to receive (and they do receive it). Serving too large of a portion can have the negative consequences of either encouraging overeating or leaving a child to feel like a disappointment for not finishing.
Modeling is extremely important for mealtime. If a parent eats a healthy, well-balanced diet the chances of the child following suit are greatly increased. Our children, especially when they are little, know very little in the world outside of what they see inside the house. So even if you don't love fruits and veggies, be sure you are eating them, along with a reasonably sized portion, if you want your children to be successful in making good food choices as they get older. We must become what we want our children to be, paying lip service isn’t enough.
Conflict often results when parents tell the children they are having X for dinner and the children (or one or more of the children) don't like or want X. A battle of wills often ensues with no real winner. One way to avoid this confrontation is by planning out a weekly menu, much like there is in schools. If a child knows before they go to school that they are having meatballs and spaghetti for dinner, it is more likely that they will be OK with that when they return home. Menu planning should also take place with the children each week where they assist in planning the meals. They will feel empowered and most often will be happy to eat the meal that they helped to prepare (even if they didn't do any of the cooking).
Successful children are the result of much hard work and planning, as is any meaningful endeavor one undertakes in life. Turning frustration and disappointment into passion and drive will help our children reach their full potential. Successful children often become successful, well adjusted adults. If we keep the goal in mind that our primary job is to help create self sufficient, self confident and prosperous adults, than the monotony of daily life becomes less wrote and more proactive.