Me, My Aunt and Cancer

This month marks 20 years since the passing of my aunt, Patrica Harmon, from breast cancer. I would like to share her story.?

In 2000, she was initially diagnosed, I didn’t understand the severity of it. She was always the strong aunt. The aunt, in my eyes, was indestructible. I looked at her as Superwoman. She could do anything, she could make traditional Liberian food and American food. She took me on my first trip to the MN State Fair, taught me how to make rice krispie?and gave me my first whooping ????. She was more than my aunt, she was my second mother. I wanted to be just like her. She was the glue to our family. So when I found out she had cancer, I didn’t think much of it because I knew she was going to beat it. She went into remission but I wasn’t surprised. Again, she was Superwoman. I was just happy things could go back to normal.?

In 2002, my grandmother passed away. I was too scared to go to funeral so I stayed home alone. I heard a car honk outside and ran to see?my aunt in her car with my cousin, her oldest daughter. I enthusiastically ran up to the passenger side where she was seated but she was stone-faced. She told me that her cancer was back and it spread throughout her body. Me being 13 years old and na?ve, I didn’t understand she was telling to say to me. I thought to myself “Okay, just go back to the hospital and get it out”.?In hindsight, she was telling me she was dying.?

The next couple months were a blur. I don’t remember much, maybe I choose to black it out. Maybe, that was my way of dealing with it. The next memory I have is my aunt in the hospital. It’s so ironic because though she looked so frail, I still saw the strong, fiery woman I loved so much. Shortly after, she passed away at her home with my mom by her side. When my mom give me the news, I was numb. I didn’t understand and to be honest, I was angry at Aunt Patricia. She wasn’t suppose to pass. I didn’t want her to go.?Yes I sad, but I was so upset with her.?

When I went to her wake, I sat in the front row and that’s when it hit me, she was gone. My aunt was laying a box in front of me. My gorgeous role model was gone. All that angry turned into complete sorrow and I started to ball. I was so sad for her, for me, my cousins, and my family. I was only 13 but her daughters were?18, 12 and 10. Her death was my first heartbreak. Her passing symbolized so many things to come, death of my parents’ marriage, death of a once tight knit family and death of my childhood. I had to grow up fast, this was my new normal. My angry shifted from her to God. Like why?!? Of all people, why my auntie Pat?! Going to therapy helped me reconcile all of those emotions. Though I’m still grieve, I’ve come to terms with it. My biggest issue was I didn’t think it was fair to have her life?taken from her so young, she was only in her 40s. I didn’t want her to be forgotten.?

When I decided to start my nail business, I decided to named it after her to carry on her legacy. Through Harmon Polish, I have been able to partner with several breast cancer organizations to spread awareness to the disease and share her story. Through the end of her life came abruptly, through Harmon Polish her legacy will live on.

To my aunt Pat, I love you deeply and I hope you’re proud!?

- Lil K