Me at 22 vs. now at 33 years old.

Eleven years is a long time. It’s just 1 year shy of 3 U.S. presidential terms. And it’s a whole year longer than the length of World War 1 and World War 2 combined!??

But when I see these 2 pictures, it seems like these years passed me by in the blink of an eye.?Yet everything changed for me in that blink. And all for the better!?

?It’s incredible, life-affirming stuff.?

So much so that I humbly hope to inspire those who feel like they’re stuck in a rut. So snap your fingers, and bam! 11 years later, you’ll be exactly where you should be ??!

But seriously, if at 22, I could envision what the 33-year-old me would become, it would’ve saved me from so much anticipatory anxiety and mental trauma induced by worrying about my future.

So this post is for all of you who’re feeling lost, hopeless, or confused. Or are going through a tough phase where little or nothing makes sense. Please know that it will surely get better if it can’t get any worse!?

At 22, my life was falling apart. And if I can come out stronger from my misery and despair, you can too!?

The following 8 were my game-changers! Can you relate to any of these??

1. Career:

At 22:?

I had no idea what to do with my life. I found myself in a B-school for a 2-year residential MBA program. All because I wrote the CAT (MBA entrance exam) since all my peers did it. I also thought that maybe a career in marketing was my jam. But I wasn’t sure. I was sure of very little at this point in my life.?

I desperately wanted to prove to myself that I could “make it” in life. But recurring theme: I wasn’t very sure what “making it” entailed.??

It seemed the way to do it was to get a good “placement” a year later when companies came to recruit you. This seemed so distant and vague in my already uncertain future.?

It gave me crippling anxiety to even think about it.

I would oscillate between skyrocketing confidence that I would achieve all my dreams of success, fortune (and fame, maybe) and the unshakeable conviction that nothing would ever go my way. The constant juggle made my head spin. It robbed me of all my mental peace!

At 33:?

I head a content marketing agency and am a mom to a 2-year-old. I find both roles tremendously satisfying. Whilst I make a comfortable amount of money, I’m not exactly ruling the world. Heck, I’m not even ruling my industry.

But I’m happy and satisfied with whatever I’ve achieved- a joyful and curious toddler, a talented and hardworking team, clients that are more like close friends, and a chance to refine my craft every day. I’m driven by purpose and passion. Most importantly, I’m at peace within myself.??

?2. Love

At 22:?

People all around me were in happy committed relationships. My roommate already had a fiancé who seemed to check all the boxes of what one should be looking for.?

I, on the other hand, didn’t even know what I wanted. Of course, I craved emotional and physical intimacy with someone special. To be swept off my feet by Mr. Right. The stuff of rom-coms.?

But I had no idea how relationships worked. I’d never been in one. There didn’t even seem to be a guy in sight. Even if I went looking with binoculars.?

“This stuff is supposed to happen organically.” I thought. “It’ll happen on its own time.”

But what if it never did? What if I didn’t find that dream guy??

What if I had to **shudder**?compromise? What if I ended up with no one or, worse, someone less than?

At 33:?

After four years of a blissful marriage and a 2-year-old baby- let’s just say my mind doesn’t run amuck predicting romantic doom.?

No, my husband isn’t the perfect man. But that s**t doesn’t exist. Not for me. Not for anyone. Also, I met him in a way that the 22-year-old me would’ve scoffed at (our parents introduced us). Not my idea of the meet-cute that’s one for the books!?

And marriage is no Bridgerton novel. It can be hard work to keep that spark alive, especially after a baby.?

But I know I would choose him if I had to do it all over again. Revel in all his imperfections. But opt for the same deal, without changing a single thing. Ok, maybe dial down on his obsession with punctuality.

3. Self-awareness:?

At 22:

I had zero self-awareness. But that’s ok. It’s a tough age. When one’s individuality is still forming. But god, I was so rigid! I thought that I was a fixed entity. That at 22, this is who I’d be for life. And yet, almost everything about me has changed in these 11 years. Even my favorite color!

?At 33:

I’m a bit more aware of my flaws and strengths. Likes and dislikes. But the great thing is: that I’m also curious and open to change. Knowing that I’d like to improve every day. But also accepting that progress isn’t a linear process.?

?4. Maturity:

At 22:?

Lord, I was an absolute baby! I came from a highly sheltered background. I still hadn’t come out of my shell and was incredibly na?ve. Of course, I thought I was so grown up and worldly-wise when I was, in fact, a lost, helpless child.?

At 33:?

I’m still a child in many ways. And, of course, I lose my path now and then. But 11 years of life teaches you much about the world and yourself. It hardens you in the right way. And it shows you what adulting is about.?

?5. Inner Circle:

At 22:?

I didn’t trust anyone enough to reveal my innermost thoughts—even my parents- who had been unwaveringly loyal and supportive of me all my life. While I was grateful for them, it was hard to explain all the complicated thoughts and feelings of an emotionally immature 22-year-old. I guess I was too afraid of being judged, even by them.?

?At 33:?

Over the years, especially post-motherhood, I have had enough people to constitute an inner circle with a discernible radius.?I still like to keep this circle small. It comprises my family and a couple of childhood friends.?

?But I’m more open and trusting. I understand that I'm in a safe space within the confines of this circle. There’s no judgment. Only empathy and wanting what’s best for me. Even when I have thoughts and feelings that evoke unwanted nostalgia for my 22-year-old self.?

?6. Social Circle:?

At 22:?

I had almost no friends. I’d lost touch with most of my school and college friends. On campus, I kept myself socially distanced, even in a time when COVID would be considered science fiction.

I was way out of my comfort zone in a brand new town with people from very different paths in life. So it was easier to stay in my room and watch sitcoms on my laptop than make an effort to put myself out there.?

What if they hated me? What if I disliked them??

And then I’d have to spend 2 whole years seeing them every day. Just staying in was so much smarter and safer!

At 33:?

I’ve slowly but surely learned to put myself out there and be more vulnerable.?

This has led to a vibrant and diverse circle of friends that add happiness and flavor to my life. I’m still no social butterfly. But I don’t feel isolated any longer.?

?7. Health & Wellness:?

At 22:

I’d already developed chronic anxiety and sleep issues because the new environment outside my home felt so threatening.?

Moreover, I wasn’t doing my physical health any favors. Granted, the mess food on campus lived up to its name. It was usually a putrid mess. So I took the liberty of eating whatever junk I could lay my hands on. My only exercise involved walking to and from classrooms. I was unhealthy from the inside out.

?At 33:?

Both my physical and mental health is much improved. I understand the importance of staying healthy for my happiness, productivity, and longevity.?I proactively work on both aspects of my health by meditating, exercising, and eating cleaner. Although, of course, I’m not saying no to a slice of cake.?

?8. Fashion sense:

At 22:?

Umm… let’s just call my taste “interesting,” to be polite. In hindsight, I should’ve stuck to safer choices like jeans and a tee. But no. I was in a wildly experimental phase where I wore weird combinations to see if I could be that fabulous fashionista who could get away with it all. I couldn’t.

Most of my ensembles were 10/10 fashion fails. Occasionally, I’d inspire odd looks from folks. A snigger, even. But that didn’t deter me. Although, looking back, I’m glad that it wasn’t people’s opinions/reactions that didn’t deter me. But boy, I’m also happy that phase is over.?

At 33:?

In all humility, there’s been a complete 180 in that department. I don’t aspire to turn heads, but there’s a quiet confidence in my style. It comes from being comfortable in my skin. And perhaps having seen too much Sex and the City or Gossip Girl ??????

Jokes apart, while pop culture does influence my style, the finesse also comes from understanding what works for me, my body type, and of course, 11 years of observing people whose fashion sense I admire.?I’m now often complimented on my style. It’s still not typically jeans and a tee. And it’s still unique. But in a way, that’s chic yet effortless.?

?Life is such a paradox. At 22, I’d never imagined myself marrying the person that I did or sharing the beliefs that I do. Much less becoming the person that I’ve become. Of course, I’m still changing daily in ways that aren’t even noticeable to me yet.?

But let’s see, maybe in another 11 years, it’ll be time for a “Me at 33 vs. 44 years old” post???

How much has your life changed in the past decade?