Maybe It Is Time To Pivot

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a fashion designer.

I even had the makeshift barbie fashion set where I would piece together premade tops and bottoms and put them together for the most epic style this side of Clueless. My mother, being the kind of mom that would sit down and play with my sister and me, always found a way to split up the clothes fairly between us. She would put on Barbie fashion show and yet somehow my sister wound up with all of the dresses and my mother and I were wondering what happened and how it all went wrong so quickly (not much has really changed on that part – my sister is still fabulous as ever and has a great sense of style.)

But I digress.

A few years later, I found myself wanting to be a writer. I was utterly fascinated by my own stories and imagination. Unfortunately, my flights of fancy never seemed to make onto the paper.

Later I went through a puppeteer phase after watching a Sesame Street documentary. My parents, to this day, are grateful it was just a phase.

When it was time to go to college, I found myself with a scholarship for graphic design from a small community college in the middle of Wyoming. To be honest, I have no idea how this happened, but I went with it.

College was great, and things were moving forward until I became extremely sick with mono, flu, and strep all at once. After one phone call, my mother knew I was not doing well. She and my father drove all night, took one look at me, picked me up, and brought me home to Montana – where I went straight into the emergency room. It turns out, I had missed a month full of classes and did not know it. I was sick, and it took 7 IV bags full of fluid before I even went to the bathroom.

Six months later, I finally felt fully recovered.

Even before I could question myself, my mother stepped in and said, “You need to do something. You are either joining the Air Force, or you are joining the Guard, but you are doing something with your life. You need direction.” This happened in the car, and I knew there was no escape (Plus - she pointed her finger at me - no talking back after that gesture).

Backstory – my mother is badass. She is from the small state of Rhode Island in a dirt-poor neighborhood with enough smarts to know the military was her best way out. She was 17 when she hopped on a plane to TX and never looked back. Hello, Air Force. 38 years later and Command Chief Master Sergeant of the Montana Air National Guard, she earned her right to tell me what to do. Don’t get me wrong – she is the most loving mom ever- but she would not raise weak daughters.

So…. off to basic training I went and then to tech school to be an aircraft electrician.

Not going to lie…I was terrible at it. However, I do know how to use a soldering iron now.

I held many career titles since then; weight loss manager, coffee barista, training manager, fuel tank sander, nuclear weapon tracker, vehicle maintenance supervisor, even traveling kids safety worker, but my favorite was a photographer. That is a story for another time, however.

Did I have any experience with these titles? That would be a large - hell no.

Did I turn down the chance at these jobs? Also, hell no.

Was I happy though it all? YES.

Why?

Because I never looked at any title I ever had as a stopping point. I never looked at what I was doing as a negative thing. Maybe I am a bit naive, but I have never believed there wasn’t a job I couldn’t do with enough training and enough patience. I can learn anything and do anything. My career title is just a moment, not a forever thing.

Right now, I believe I am exactly where I need to be. I’m a company I love with a team I couldn’t be prouder of. It’s a fit that is just uncomfortable enough to make me want to try harder to make it work. It’s a right and comfortable place.

Who I wanted to be and who I am right now are two completely different things.

Heck, even my career title from two years ago is different than who I am now.

Life changes.

We pivot.

We learn.

I could have stuck my heels in, told my mom no, and ran off with the circus (which honestly, the traveling kids’ safety worker was pretty darn close). I didn’t, however. I took her advice, and yet, I had no idea what I was getting into.

I grew up and into my career by not being set on a title. I just was set on being happy.

Maybe you are going through the same struggle.

Maybe you are wondering what your next title should be and if zombie killer 648 is taken.

Maybe you are digging in your heels, and that’s ok. You should go for what you want.

But maybe…it’s ok to pivot.

Change directions. Use your skills. Take the job you might not know how to do. Fight your way through the mess. Learn the program that everyone else younger seems to know. Put on the boxing gloves and hope you don’t get your ass kicked. Make the coffee that seems so exclusive that only a Hollywood vegan would know what the actual ingredients are. Be the operations manager of a company that seemed to forget all Osha regulations. Train the cats at the shelter because your heart loves them so much.

Just pivot.

Turn and try again.

Turn and be the same you, learning new things, being great, and making mistakes all at once.

It’s only a title and it changes continuously.

It’ll be ok.