Maybe people don’t need negotiation training
Philip Williams
Specialist in Negotiation, Mediation, Conflict Resolution, Investigation, Intelligence, Safety & Crisis Management
Maybe people don’t need negotiation training……………..after all, isn’t it just one of those thing that we start doing from the moment we are born. Like walking or running, it is something we intuitively pick up, copying each other, developing our own style and through life; get to a level that by and large, we are okay with it.
Should it become more important to us, we typically put in a bit more effort, pay more attention to those we view as successful and with self-will and the need to meet targets, we tell ourselves that our performance improves.
Well it does to a point.
What often happens is we settle on a style that seems to work most of the time which we then consistently apply to all situations. Not necessarily a bad thing, but when things get tough, are different or come to a standstill then we are quick to blame the ‘other’ or life or both.
This is often accompanied by that lingering feeling that we have missed something. We are haunted by a sense of potential loss and disconcerting unease that this is the best it is going to get!
But it doesn’t have to be.
Coming back to my running analogy, despite my best self-effort it is highly unlikely that I’m going to be good enough for the Olympics! To even move my performance towards that league requires something else. In fact, a complete step change which comes in the form of professional training.
This involves others looking at my whole style, taking it apart and then helping me rebuild myself into a far more controlled, comfortable and confident athlete. This time I can plan more effectively, dynamically assess my progress in the moment and surgically apply changes to whatever is thrown at me.
Instead of my tried and tested sub optimal approach, I am armed with a far wider range of knowledge, experience, skills and options to meet the challenges and shift my negotiation performance to an elite level and ultimately; achieve outcomes that I never thought possible.
Negotiation training is optional….as a wise friend of mine says, so is misery.
Hostage Negotiator and Director at Control Risks
5 年If we were all open and accepting of this...the boundaries to our success would be unimaginable. Great read Phil trust you are well
Workplace Mediator,Reflective Practitioner/Facilitator, Conflict Management Coach & Trainer. Specialist in SME, third sector and charity disputes. Online mediation, training and coaching SEND Mediator
5 年Like running it's also about learning to take wider view, calming and managing feelings so we bring our best selves to the task.
Ex-Hostage Negotiator and Founder of The Listening Institute
5 年Excellent stuff
Retired
5 年I often get turned down for training
Professional Negotiator I Crisis Management I Kidnap I Risk Mitigation I Counter-terrorism I International Policing & Justice
5 年Great analogy Phil ????.. if only there had been as much emphasis placed on #listening as there was on speaking when we were young and growing up! It’s not too late though ?? #negotiation #activelistening #resolution