A couple of things that might help…

Exactly a year ago this month, I wrote an article “Making the Most of your Next Video interview” (https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/making-most-your-next-video-interview-david-williams/). Little did I (or anyone else) realize how dominant this medium would become for candidates and companies in such a short span of time. Now, even my kids’ dance lessons, online classes, cheerleading tryouts, and church youth groups are all via video. As we adjust to these changes during this unique season, many of us have experienced stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. 

My senior is missing out on her final year of high school and unsure if she can move to college in the fall. Our Goldendoodle is probably thinking, “Why are all 6 of you always here?” (not that she really minds).

Here in California, we are about 6 weeks into the Stay at Home order. When it was initially issued, I told my 4 girls as we looked into the unknown future that “structure will be your friend” during this time. I didn’t want them to sleep till 11:30, watch 8 hours of TV and then spend 6 hours on Instagram or Tik-Tok every day. My hope and prayer were that we would become better people, transformed as a result of this season. Given that we are enduring a global event that is unlike anything we have ever seen and may never see again, I wanted my family to realize both the gravity and the significance of this life experience. They can tell their grandkids, “When I was your age…”

As I have been going through this season with my family, I thought I would share a few things that I have found helpful for us. If you have any advice and tips, I would love to hear yours as well!

I’ll keep it simple even though I know the list could be much longer:

Intentionally Connect

Intentionally Disconnect

1)     Intentionally Connect.

a.      Calm fears. In stressful times, my tendency can be to shut myself in the office and plow into work. At the end of a hard day, I may feel the need to go on a long run, work in the garden, or veg in front of the TV to decompress. While none of this is bad, it should not come at the expense of neglecting my wife or kids who are also experiencing similar stresses and disappointments. They need me, and I do not want to miss an opportunity to address their concerns or calm their fears.

b.      Join a book club. One of my friends organized a club a few weeks ago, and every Tuesday we meet (on Zoom) to discuss it. He moderates the overall flow, and then we break into discussion groups 3 different times for about 10 minutes. There are about 20 of us in the club. It runs for an hour, so we get to see everyone in the large group before and in between the smaller breakout sessions (which are always randomly changing). This has been a great way to meet new people and see friends weekly.

c.      Turn on the TV. Watch a set of documentaries or a mini-series with your roommates or family. Because of our schedules and the ages of our kids, we were rarely together in the evenings on a school night pre-virus. But this season has given us the incredibly rare opportunity to spend the evenings together for two weeks as we watched, “Crash Landing on You.” You can find it on Netflix. Fair warning, it might suck you in too…

d.      Tackle that “to-do” list. But bring others along. Depending on the task, sometimes it feels quicker to do it myself. Now that my kids have more free time (no sports, dance lessons, parties, or playdates), they are more available. This has made it easier to help them build life skills. Whether it’s learning to clean their bathroom, wash a car, or give your dog a haircut, this has been a good time to increase their aptitude (plus, all of those chores needed to be done anyway!).

e.      Reach out more often. Talk to your parents, text your friends, ask your neighbors if they need anything when you make a trip to the store (especially if they are older, have small kids at home, or are single mothers). Seasons like this can bring out the worst in us – selfishness, hoarding, and greed. When my wife offered to give all our neighbors rolls of our toilet paper from our supply, I initially panicked a little, but realized that it was the right thing to do. Recently, an old friend organized a Zoom meeting of a team I worked with in 1991. Since this was first time that we had been “together” in over 25 years, it was incredibly fun to catch up with everyone again.

2)     Intentionally Disconnect.

a.      Turn off the devices (at least for a while). Of course, this has two meanings. As I mentioned earlier, I did not want my kids to spend 16 hours a day on devices nor I did not want to shut them out so that I could veg in isolation. Admittedly, my kids are watching TV and on their phones WAY more than normal (all the Harry Potter movies were consumed in several days and the Disney Channel has become background noise). We had record rainfall in California recently, so no one was even going outside. When both parents are working from home, the kids need to be kept busy and entertained. Watching TV in moderation makes sense. But when the “workday” is over, it may be helpful for all of us to go on a walk, jump on the trampoline, finish a crossword puzzle, or do a craft.

b.      Create some personal space. Besides unplugging, sometimes we just need to be alone. If your house has been full of the same people for days and weeks on end, create some healthy space for yourself. Clear your head. Be alone if necessary. Pray more. Meditate. Read a book. Journal. Work on your car. Mow the lawn twice in a week. We all get frustrated with others sometimes. If a long run will help you (or others) be more tolerable, put on your shoes and hit the trails for a while.

When I first started my business, I would get deeply stressed and fearful about the future. My dad could see how heavily this was weighing me down. He had opened a recruiting agency back in the 1960’s (which is still operating), so he knew the road ahead. He told me to quit obsessing and worrying about what might happen in the future and instead focus on today. That has proven to be great advice.

We are not in the Zombie Apocalypse. This lockdown will not last forever. It is temporary. The end will come.

Let not one of the tragedies of this pandemic be that we come through it unchanged for the better.

What have you found helpful during this time? I would love to hear your ideas and advice!