May is Mental Health Month... "Buddy checks save lives... the importance of checking-in!"

As this is Mental Health Month, I wanted to revisit my post from the fall of 2021 (October 5th)

NB: This post was originally shared on October 5th, 2021

Yesterday I read with sadness of the death (by suicide) of Major General Matthew Holmes, former head of the Royal Marines. While I never met him, I served with some of his compatriots in the Royal Marines back in the 1980's. Last month, (September) was National Suicide Prevention Month. Sadly, suicides take place every day of the week regardless of the calendar.

In the U.S., Suicide rates among active-duty military members are currently at an all-time high since record-keeping began after 9/11 and have been increasing over the past five years at an alarmingly steady pace. In 2021, research found that 30,177 active duty personnel and veterans who served in the military after 9/11 have died by suicide - compared to the 7,057 service members killed in combat in those same 20 years. That translates into the startling fact that military suicide deaths are four times higher than deaths that occurred during military operations. For military families and parents, whose active duty loved one already sacrifices so much to protect our freedom, this trend is extremely troubling.

As a Marine Officer stationed in Washington DC in 1985, my very first Casualty Call was to the family of a young Marine who had committed suicide. He had been a standout high school athlete, honor grad of his platoon and was serving on embassy duty in Europe. From the outside his life looked great. Sadly, nobody knew the inner turmoil he was wrestling with. Tough as that duty was, I was honored to help his family through the funeral process and was given tremendous latitude to do “whatever the Marine Corps could to "take care of our own!"

Taking the stigma away from mental health is so important as it would allow for those service men and women who are struggling to know that it’s “OK to not be OK!”

This little excerpt from Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne does a wonderful job of depicting the importance of?"checking in"?on your loved ones and friends.

Nota Bene: Alan Alexander (A.A) Milne was a Signals Officer during WWI and witnessed first-hand the destruction that wiped out a generation of young writers and poets.?He KNEW the importance of "checking in" as he himself was "checked in" on by his comrades-in- arms from "The Great War!"

"It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.

"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh.

"Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet," said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.

"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."

Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now."

Pooh looked at Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are."

"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.

Because Pooh and Piglet were There.

No more; no less.

A.A. Milne, France, 1916 Just before the First Battle of the Somme

More on Milne... As a newly minted Second Lieutenant, in 1916 Milne was sent to the?Western Front?during the?Somme Offensive and was to quickly witness the harsh realities of war. Shortly after arriving on the?front-line?his best friend,?Ernest Pusch, was killed. More tragedy followed a few days later when Ernest’s brother Frederick Pusch was?killed by a German sniper.

It wasn’t just the death and horror of war that tested Milne,?frequent bombardments made it tricky to maintain communications and to implement battle decisions. It was decided that line was needed, so on the 10th August 1916 Milne and four other men were sent to run?a?cable, with the aim of?enabling communications with battalion and brigade headquarters to?be maintained during forthcoming attacks.?Sadly during the operation the senior Signalling Officer, Kenneth Harrison, suffered a serious head wound from a shell splinter and was unable to continue

Milne dutifully took over from Harrison. The following evening?Milne – with mathematical brain engaged – laid another telephone line, as he later recalled: ‘elaborately laddered according to the text books, and guaranteed to withstand any bombardment’.?

Pooh - The "bear of little brain" was an antidote to the horror of war that Milne witnessed first hand.

Hand salute to ALL veterans who are dealing with PTSD... "It's OK to NOT be OK." Reach out and ask for help. There are folks who want to help and who understand.

If you haven't heard from your buddies in a while... please?CHECK IN?with them! A simple phone call or visit could save a life!

If you are a Veteran in crisis or concerned about one, connect with our caring, qualified responders for confidential help. Many of them are Veterans themselves.

Dial 988. Hope and help are just a phone call away.

Call TTY if you have hearing loss

800-799-4889

Get more resources at VeteransCrisisLine.net

Semper Fi and God Bless us... everyone... Soldier, Sailor, Marine, Airman, Coastguardsman, Guardian, Military Families and Veterans!

About the Author - Paul McBride is a former US Marine. In 1985 and 1986 he participated in a joint US Marine/Royal Marine Exchange Program. The program was conceived at a high level by US Marine Corps Commandant, General P.X. Kelley (one of the first US Marines to wear the Royal Marine Beret) and his counterpart Royal Marine Commandant General, Sir Michael Compton Lockwood Wilkins.

Currently he serves as RVP at ZeOmega Population Health Management Software as well as the Founder and President of American Military Society Press. You can contact him at [email protected]

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Cheryl Mason David Shulkin Paul Lawrence Jennifer Purdy, LCSW, CPXP Larry Connell Lee Becker Mike Renfrow Toni Hightower MAJ (Retired) USAR Karen Flaherty-Oxler Ted Wong Victor Armstrong, MSW Joseph Vitti, MBA