May I call you on Monday at 1:00 PM? | Compendium of Crappy Cold Email - Vol II

"I'm Susan. I thought you could benefit from a solution like ours, as other companies have. Can I fill you in on how we can put your sales on the fast track? May we set up a call on Friday at 2:00 PM or your preferred time? Please let me know your direct number."

At some point we have all been told that if you want to schedule a meeting with someone, you should offer available times to facilitate in the scheduling. Be on the front foot and make it easier for the other person to accept.

"I would like to speak with you about lead generation. If you're not the best contact for this, can you direct me to the person in charge of sales or marketing? If you're in the office on Friday, I could drop you a quick call at 1:00 PM your time, if that works."

This method works great when you already have a dialogue with the other person, when there is mutual interest in the meeting. It is a complete failure in an unresearched cold email. I get at least one of these per day. Let me share some highlights with you.

"I'm trying to get in touch with you to see if there is a mutual fit between our company expertise and your goals around prospecting strategies. Please email me your direct line for a discussion tomorrow, 13th September at 11:00 AM your time or you suggest a good date and time that works for you."

I am happy to hear you are looking for a mutual fit. I certainly am not. And you want me direct line?

"Our VP, Matt, will be in NY next week consulting with several agencies regarding their path to revenue growth. Do you have availability Monday or Tuesday of next week for him to stop by?"

Wow, that sounds exciting for them. I don't know you and I don't know Matt. If you want a restaurant suggestion for lunch, try my favorite place called Bond45 on 46th street between 8th and 9th avenue. Ask for my booth.

"My team found your company online and I think our approach to finding and generating new clients might work for you.We'd like to confirm via a short consultative meeting which will give us enough information to come up with a proposal for a concrete marketing plan. Can we go for a phone call at 1:00 PM your time? Please let me know if that works for you."

The "your company" phrase cracks me up. It is the way to make the email look customized but really is a generic template. And then follow it up with what you would like to do in a "short consultative meeting" to get "enough information" to give me a proposal. The only good word here is "concrete," reminds me that I need have some cement work done.

"We haven't met yet, but I am in charge of the marketing efforts here at InceptionworX and would love to set aside a few minutes with you. If you're in the office on Monday, Sept. 16th, I could drop you a quick call at 1:30 PM your time for a thorough discussion. Let me know if that works."

Finally something honest - "we haven't met yet..." but then they go on to say a "quick call" for a "thorough discussion." Who writes these? Who approves these?

"If you're not the best contact for this, can you direct me to the person in charge of sales or marketing? If you're in the office on Tuesday, I could drop you a quick call at 1:00 PM your time, if that works."

Double whammy here. Asking for the "best contact' in case I am not, which if you actually tried to learn about me and my work you should know the answer to that, and then casually offering to "drop" me a quick call on Tuesday. I'm out on Tuesday and every Tuesday you would ever ask about when you approach an email like this.

Cold emails without a proper understanding of your recipients needs and without actual value for their time will be received negatively and trashed by your recipient. If you can't figure out how to do that then don't send the email. You will be making someone's inbox a nicer place.