May Day! May Day! Warm Demanders Needed!

Recently, I finished the book?My War?by Andy Rooney. It was one of the books I cleaned out of my dad’s den. I guess I started reading it just because of that.

I kept reading?My War?because Rooney’s stories of his World War II experience were beautifully threaded together with descriptions of the people he met and worked with when he was serving in the United States Army, as a news correspondent for the Army newspaper.

Rooney truly was an appreciator of people and the relationships you form when you work together. As expected, he describes how he and his fellow members of the army faced life and death challenges. He also told about the dull duties that they spent countless hours on, forcing them to spend time together and providing ample opportunity for conversations. Those conversations resulted in tight connections. The type of personal connection that causes someone to “feel a sense of obligation to the man next to them” when they go into the face of fire.

In my work experience, I have also found when I spent time with colleagues doing the routine, as yes, sometimes dull work, bonds were formed. We would share our personal stories to help pass the time. Trust was built and friendships were formed.

In Real Life Connection

We humans have a capacity to quickly connect in a genuine way when we spend time together In Real Life (IRL). When we do, our brain releases oxytocin that combats stress and strengthens our immunities. We have more energy!

Our brains are wired like this, due to Cave Man times when we needed to stay with our pack of people for protection and food. Back then we needed other people in order to survive. Now, hundreds of years later, our brains still reward us with oxytocin when we are spend time together.

On the flip side, when we are isolated our health and performance suffer. We have less energy. Our brain releases cortisol. Anxiety and depression creep in, causing us to feel lonely and our natural immunities to weaken.

80–20 Rule

Recently I listened to?an interview that Eric Koester conducted with Tyler Hayes, founder of Atom Limbs. Atom Limbs is making bionic arms that will be capable of near-full human range of motion and restore a basic sense of touch.

One of Atom Limbs work place rules that?Hayes?explained really caught my attention. They call it the 80–20 rule. Hayes explains:

“You are never allowed to go off on your own completely and just come back and deliver a solution to the everyone like a new robotic design or a new AI algorithm.

You have to get the concept to 20 percent and stop. Then bring the incomplete solution to everyone and say ‘ I got to 20 percent. What do you think so far?’ “

Hayes explains, by yourself you may go in the wrong direction, wasting time and money.

Warm Demander

I love that Hayes has a 20–80 rule because it will not only result in better business outcomes, it will result in better wellbeing outcomes for his employees.

Hayes is insisting his scientists, his mathematicians and everyone collaborate. Collaboration can be hard especially when you are not use to being challenged or building off others’ ideas.

But like any other hard practice, working together in a collaborative way gets easier the more you do it — then it becomes fun!

Hayes is being a Warm Demander of the IRL business skill of collaboration. He is creating opportunities for his team members to engage in a struggle and grow.

In April I spoke with some students at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business about the transition from college to the workplace. They asked me “how can I make friends at work?” I shared with them my framework for how to build and maintain a personal network of support.

Later, I found myself hoping that each one of them gets to work for a Warm Demander like Tyler Hayes, who insists employees collaborate.

Another Warm Demander

I recently spoke with?Jon Longfellow,?a retired executive who has managed and mentored hundreds of employees, who is also Warm Demander. I asked him for his top practices that early career employees should adopt to help them navigate the world of work, make friends and build essential IRL business skills like collaboration. Here’s what he shared with me.

Top Practices for Early Career Employees to Work On

Be seen:?Establish and maintain a regular schedule. When you pass people in the office, initiate conversation. Smile, make eye contact and say good morning or good afternoon.

Go to the office: There is a place for remote work. But know, it is difficult to be effective as a new person and you will not learn as quickly if you are not in the office. Be careful not to fall into the work from home trap. Come in when you know others will be there. It is how you establish and maintain a presence and build networks within your organization and beyond.

Participate:?Be quick to volunteer for special project teams. It is a great way to develop skills plus get to know more people. Attend every team building event and make it a point to converse with at least 3 new people, as well as catch up with at least 3 colleagues at each event.

Ask for Help:?Be active about forming relationships with people in your organization who are willing and able to help you get where you want to be professionally. When you have questions, reach out immediately to a colleague. They might be able to help you learn something faster and you develop a deeper relationship with them.

Look crisp:?You don’t need to overdress, but pay attention to your appearance, especially your shoes.

Be neutral:?Office politics are real. Do not offer opinions about individuals or leadership when frustrations are being shared.

I encourage you to share Jon Longfellow’s list with someone you know who is about to enter the work force, early in their career, or struggling to find friendship at work. I have found in my experiences, practices such as these have led to an increased likelihood of business success.

About me: I am passionate about getting the workplace culture right. I know that cold hard facts combined with compassion is what is needed to motivate individuals to do the hard work that change requires. I help leaders determine what they need to do to modernize their culture and workplace to make it smart, safe and inspiring. I also train people leaders to role model and inspire development of In Real Life business skills that promote camaraderie, relational equity, innovation and belonging.

Here are related stories for leaders. Download or order your copy of my book?Disconnected?for more practical ideas for how to deliver realness, meaning and belonging to your youngest workers. Visit?www.colleenmcfarland.us?for more information.