Maximizing Physical and Virtual Friendships

“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” — Thomas Aquinas

In my extensive quest for scholarships to pursue studies abroad, I have learned that while academic excellence holds value, two crucial factors stand paramount: financial capability and influential connections. It is evident that possessing a stellar Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) is essential, but having the financial means and influential mentors significantly impacts accessing educational opportunities abroad.

If you own your funds and secure admission to a university abroad, showcasing academic excellence will still lead to acquiring scholarships. Even in the absence of scholarships, there would be no need to worry. Nevertheless, when faced with financial constraints, establishing a robust network capable of connecting you with opportunities becomes particularly crucial. This realization has led me to prize social intelligence above some other highly-rated forms of intellect.

The pressing inquiry emerges: How can we effectively harness relationships in our bustling contemporary world? A disheartening trend I have observed is that some individuals only engage with friends, mentees, or mentors when they need some help. This utilitarian approach to relationships conflicts with the essence of genuine connections, which should be nurtured and reciprocated without ulterior motives.

To foster dynamic relationships, deliberate efforts must be made to consistently reach out to people. Recognizing their busy schedules, periodic casual check-ins through messages or emails, exchanging a simple “hello, how are you doing?” or “what’s up,” can nurture connections significantly. Marking special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrating their achievements showcases thoughtfulness, contributing to relationship depth irrespective of time spent.

Respecting boundaries and acknowledging that not all friends may be available physically or virtually at all times is pivotal. Embracing flexibility and adapting to their communication preferences and schedules is key. Personally, I prefer communication through WhatsApp chats rather than any kind of call, as the latter can be quite distracting.

Adaptability is crucial in navigating the transitions that occur within friendships. Physical relationships may shift to virtual ones due to distance, while virtual connections may evolve into in-person friendships. Embracing these changes and adjusting accordingly bolsters the resilience of friendships. In addition, efficiently networking our friendships can create a network of interconnected bonds. Facilitating connections between friends can strengthen the cohesion of the group, fostering a supportive and cohesive social circle.

Communication forms the cornerstone of these strategies. Open and honest communication lays the foundation for trust and mutual understanding, enriching the quality of friendships. Learn from the Yoruba Odogwu, Seun Ogunmola, who has cultivated the habit of depositing into people’s emotional bank account (EBA) in order to keep his networks well serviced. I hope he gets to read this (smiles).

Realizing the vitality of relationships demands sacrifices. Choosing to spend time with friends instead of pursuing personal leisure or traveling to visit distant friends showcases commitment. Avoiding the opportunistic behavior of only engaging when in need, as observed in some of my students seeking recommendation letters, is crucial.

In essence, maximizing the potential of friendships involves consistent efforts, adaptability, respect for boundaries, and genuine communication. Building meaningful connections transcends mere convenience and requires genuine care and reciprocity.

If you are aged from 18-40 years and you like the idea of belonging to a community of excellent and righteous young men or you are even above 40 and you'd like to be one of our mentors, feel very free to join the Real Boys Forum (RBF) by clicking on https://bit.ly/therbf or scanning the barcode on the flyer.

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