The Maximal Life Is Held By Grateful Hands

Hi Everyone, Mazen here, and Welcome to The Maximal Life!

Today we are going to talk about one of the most important but often overlooked tools to longevity, happiness and lasting success: The Fine Art of Gratitude. And like any fine art, Gratitude is mastered over time, with passion, and with practice. Pablo Picasso once said “Every child is an artist. The problem is staying an artist when you grow up”.

When I think of gratitude, I often look to my children as role models. Children are effortlessly grateful for all the many small wonders of the world. Without even realizing it, they are constantly giving thanks through their passionate acknowledgments for the one yellow flower in a patch of red, the sprinkling of ripe berries all over their pancakes, and the feeling of floating when they play on a swing set.

Of course, as we get older, life gets more complicated. We endure loss and other hardships. Responsibilities begin to pile up, and our focus can’t always be as light as a summer breeze. But that doesn’t mean we can’t refresh ourselves by adding some lightness to our day, it just means that it may require some practice.

Even if you have everything you want on the outside, being happy is an inside job.

As you may already know, it’s quite possible to attain great wealth, the best education, and an exceptional quality of life, and still be unhappy. This occurs when people live with an absence of gratitude. In today’s Go Go Go culture, we are being constantly thrust towards the rush of acquisition. The ability to display financial affluence through material possessions and the display of a luxury lifestyle is hyped to the status of royalty. But true and lasting happiness comes from within, and living a Maximal Life is an inside job.

The Very wise William Shakespeare Says “Nothing is either good or bad, it’s our thinking that makes it so.”

Well, did you know Gratitude reroutes our thinking in ways detectable by a brain scan?

Our thoughts are our teachers, and among all the human emotions, brain scans show us that gratitude appears to be the one that most effectively produces happiness. We can choose thoughts of love and appreciation, and seek the gifts in our challenges, or we can dwell on the difficulties and be sure to find more.

This is real science, not a whimsical flight of fancy. When we express gratitude, a part of our brain fires in the left prefrontal cortex that brain scans correlate with contentment, meaning, and self-worth. From the perspective of neuroscience, expressing gratitude is the quickest way to reroute our emotional state from stress, sadness, and discontent. Contrary to what we might see, hear, or read in the media and news the human brain is wired for empathy, compassion, love, and gratitude. Perhaps this is why the art of Gratitude seems to come so effortlessly to our children. There is a special kind of science in the practice of expressing gratitude. It raises our consciousness, recharges our energy, enhances our self-worth, and strengthens our resolve. The practice of gratitude can even speed-up physical healing from injury or illness, as it links up directly to the part of our brain that stimulates both our physical and mental resilience.

Gratitude brings measurable health and wellbeing.

You don’t have to feel gratitude to be grateful. I like how Joseph Fort Newton put it when he said “We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens within us- how we take it, what we do with it, and that’s what really counts in the end.” I love this quote because it reminds me how much easier it is to practice gratitude when things are going my way. It’s when I’m feeling challenged that the practice of Gratitude is transformed into The Fine Art of Gratitude. Anger, bitterness, and resentment seem to to be so much easier and come more naturally in the face of loss or crisis, And let’s be honest, no one “feels” grateful when dealing with these challenges.

The famed humanistic psychologist, Abraham Maslow, in his studies of mental wellness noted that: “In thinking about the relations between suffering, gratitude, and growth, we need to remember the difference between feeling grateful and being grateful.” No one feels grateful when they have lost a job, received devastating news, or watched a relationship crumble, but gratitude is not just a feeling.

Gratitude is also an attitude, a chosen posture toward life.

Brother David Steindl-Rast, the world’s foremost teacher of gratitude, has written: “I will be grateful in all circumstances. Times that challenge us physically, emotionally, and spiritually may make it almost impossible for us to feel grateful. Yet, we can decide to live gratefully, courageously open to life in all its fullness. By living the gratefulness, we don’t feel, we begin to feel the gratefulness we live.” Wow! That is some powerful stuff!

And there is ample research to back up the benefits of adopting an Attitude of Gratitude:

University of Washington psychologist, John Gottman, an expert in marital relations, concludes that unless a couple is able to maintain a ratio of 5 positive interactions for every one negative interaction, it is likely that their marriage will end. In a highly publicized study, he observed 73 couples discussing areas of conflict in their relationships. What was found to be the best way to boost the positivity ratio? Openly displaying a daily appreciation for your partner: An Attitude of Gratitude for your marriage.

In another fascinating study by The University of Miami, they asked college students to participate in a study where one test group kept a daily journal of things for which they felt grateful, while another test group kept a daily journal of things for which they felt agitation. The results showed that the students who practiced daily gratitude experienced an overall improvement in enthusiasm, determination and energy, and what really impressed the researchers was an improvement in overall health and a decrease in physical pain! Those who practiced a daily list of the things that agitated them experienced no such benefits and even reported an increased level of stress and agitation.

If we can see only our troubles, we are seeing with limited vision.

According to Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director at the University of California Berkeley, practicing gratitude leads to feelings of trust, safety, and connectedness. These feelings, she reports, “May help people transition out of stressful states into more relaxed ones in a matter of minutes.” Her research also revealed that adopting a regular gratitude practice is associated with reducing inflammation, lowering blood pressure, and improved sleep duration and quality.

Research has proven that gratitude can even alleviate insomnia and depression.

A study done at the University of Hong Kong examined the sleep patterns of people suffering from depression. The results were startling! The test group that practiced gratitude exercises benefitted not only from greater sleep, but also less frequent bouts of depression!

A more extensive study done on the connection between gratitude and sleep had participants jot down a gratitude list nightly, before going to bed. The participants reported getting more hours of sleep each night, spending less time awake before falling asleep and feeling more refreshed upon awakening. This finding is ENORMOUS! Sleep disturbance has long been identified as a central issue for poor overall well-being. For this reason, I have adopted this practice in my own personal life. I call my Goodnight Gratitude. The evidence can’t be ignored: if you want to sleep more soundly, try counting your blessings instead of counting sheep.

When we adopt this Attitude of Gratitude toward life, we are able to see how it can be tested and strengthened through adversity. Grateful feelings typically follow when good things happen, but An Attitude of Gratitude precedes goodness AND difficulty. If we can’t appreciate the joy that already exists in our life, can we truly appreciate receiving more? When we cultivate a practice of appreciating what’s already been given BEFORE challenges arrive, we can summon that appreciation even in the midst of those challenges. When faced with challenges, I’m often reminded of this simple quote by author Richard Bach, “There is no such thing as a problem, without a gift for you in its hands”.

How to cultivate a lion-hearted and deep-rooted Attitude of Gratitude

In my research and self-experimentation, I have discovered, that the foundation of an Attitude of Gratitude seems to root by two major attributes: Humility and Humor. The first, humility, can be an off-putting concept for some. The word itself can conjure up feelings of judgment or ideas of being less than some and more than others, when in fact: True humility should NEVER be humiliating. The best definition of humility I have found is said to be, “A perpetual quietness of heart.” Powerful. “A perpetual quietness of heart.” Which to me means an unshakeable foundation of strength. Humility helps us see ourselves in true perspective which places us in a powerful position for effecting positive change, and keeps our minds open to recognizing the truth around us. Another powerful finding in my research on cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude revealed that: Part of learning humility is learning to contribute to our own well-being. When we can see ourselves in true perspective, we can see where we need more, more time with our loved ones, more time for enjoyable hobbies, more healthful foods, more exercise, more sleep, and more play. As it turns out, it’s an act of great humility to care deeply for oneself. And truth be told, often our greatest weaknesses prove to be our greatest strengths because they provide us with opportunities for growth we would have never encountered otherwise. True humility should never be humiliating. Instead, it can be viewed as an honor to climb down from the ladder of judgment and comparison and take our rightful place in this mysterious and wonderful adventure we are all on together.

Living the Maximal Life is about more than the ability to function responsibly and realistically. It also includes the willingness to play, to take a break, to cultivate a hobby. I think of humor as an especially appealing hobby. It requires no special equipment or travel and it never falls out of fashion.

Ethel Barrymore said, “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh, at yourself.” That quote always makes me chuckle. I remember the first time I learned to laugh at myself. I was in college and rushing to my medicinal biochemistry class. I needed to buy batteries because my smoke detector had kept me up all night with that little annoying beep beep beep. And of course, while I’m there I stock up on paper towels, detergent, garbage bags everything else I always forget to buy. And you know I need the supersize.

I open the trunk and stuff everything in. Jump in the driver seat turn my head and there’s this strange guy suddenly taping my window. I yell like I’m on fire which scares him so bad. He yells like he’s now on fire. I almost ran over you. You’re in my car, Dude. We just burst out laughing. He says “seems like we’re both rocking the concord Chrysler in grass stain green.”

I point to my actual car two spots away and instead of grand theft auto we realize we’re neighbors and become friends Obviously you gotta make friends with someone with such great taste in cars. My unknowing “attempted robbery” had the gift of a new friend in its hands.

And on that note, here are some motions you can take to cultivate your Attitude of Gratitude:

• Keep a gratitude journal: Take a few minutes every day and jot down at least three things in your life for which you are grateful
• Write a gratitude letter: Think about someone who has played a positive role in your life and write him or her a thank you note. It only needs to take a few minutes and it won’t just boost your esteem, but also the esteem of the person who receives your letter.
• Say Thank You, out loud: Nothing beats a real-live interpersonal acknowledgment. So, the next time, and any time someone contributes to you in a meaningful way, or even a simple way, share your appreciation. When you express a buoyant gratitude, you will find that people will want to “catch” your emotion. There is a well-established psychological law known as The Law of Emotional Contagion which states: An emotional expression within a group has a ripple effect and becomes a shared emotion throughout the group. Make your emotion an Attitude of Gratitude and your entire team will benefit from catching it.

Gratitude can be practiced for anything or anyone:

The farmer that plants and tends to the vegetables on your table.

The truck driver that delivered those vegetables to the market where you were able to purchase them.

The grocers who set them out and kept them fresh so that your family may enjoy them.

And you as a customer provided the support that enables everyone to receive their wages.

When you pause for a moment and begin to think of the connections between people, you can’t help but understand the important role gratitude plays in a Maximal Life.

When we take time for gratitude, we perceive a better world and we step more fully into our role for making the world a better place for ourselves and our children. Maximal Achievers are true masters in The Fine Art of Gratitude. Of course, we must still do the footwork, but we must also learn when to let go, laugh, and enjoy. We truly begin to live the Maximal Life when, with an Attitude of Gratitude, we embrace all that life brings- both great challenges and great joy.

Allow me to express my gratitude to you, now for joining me for this very special segment. Being a Maximal Achiever and living the Maximal Life is something that is never accomplished alone, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

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