The Max Factor

Do good parents have good children? Hopefully. One colleague lost a lot of respect because his sons, at least the eldest, was reminiscent of a certain feminine hygiene product.

He manifested every negative stereotype around younger generations. The perfect storm of ignorance and arrogance compromised relationships that stood the test of time otherwise.

Gone and forgotten. Noticing the cast at this year's No Longer Virtual seemed a lot older caused me to leave the bar early. On a Monday night- Industry Night in Missoula is not like those infamous nights in Scottsdale.

At times I felt unease. At the venue I had an upset stomach. I felt fine at night. In the day it felt like I was being pulled in multiple directions. I was triggered by the strangest things. Jennifer mentioned her brother who has Cerebral Palsy. It never stopped him from leading an active life.

Hearing that he has "CP" which are the initials I was reminded of Chris Porreco, a dear friend who passed in 2018; inspiring one of the paradigm shift articles in my nearly ten year trajectory on this site.

One had nothing to do with the other. Hearing the names of various alumni from last year who blew me off triggered PTSD. The ultimate failure of psychiatrists is they never considered the fact the life altering effects of my father leaving his family taking my four year old sister (A story so painful I wrote a book about it and keep it in stasis because it will open wounds.) gave me PTSD. They were too busy with agendas, pushing me to other doctors and acting like divorce is a normal occurrence.

Not the way I experienced it. That had nothing to do with my sudden feeling of frustration. Misplaced anger needs to be addressed. Maybe I was tired from a different time zone and elevation. Sarah got down.

Not the way one does on the dance floor. She had no idea why I was upset and did everything in her power to make me feel better. When someone goes to those lengths it is my responsibility to lift myself up. I have a bad habit of pushing away the genuine and embracing the ones who want me to be a car service or a money lender.

I would rather have no relationships than to be an unpaid Uber driver. Returning to my hotel room, I tried to change my flight. Not many guests were staying that evening. I had three days in Missoula and if there were no reasonable flight changes I would have flown out the next day.

It turned out I could take a flight that afternoon. This felt like I was taking control of the situation. I could stay through lunch and had two opportunities to be driven back to the airport.

I took the first. As fate would have it, I was on a flight with Hannah. We did not sit together on the plane. We were together in the airport where I made a point to ask brief and occasional questions as they arose.

She was preparing for the next day's work. As much as I would enjoy telling her everything and anything- be strategic. Am I maturing? I am not bothered that she is in a relationship.

She had some end unexpectedly. Maybe certain men cannot handle strong, independent women. Pragmatically speaking- our relationship would mostly be over the phone and internet. We could probably get together three weekends per year.

Which is why she is in a better relationship. Doesn't mean we cannot socialize and she waited for me at DEN. That is one of the more annoying airports. Not as bad as DFW, on par with ATL. I kept up with her as we headed to our connecting flights.

That led to travel stories. Some people never go anywhere. Back in Phoenix I met people who never left Arizona and never visited The Grand Canyon. There is a world out there to enjoy.

The morning session was good. John and Mercedes had one of the best presentations in all the conferences. Maybe for the tenth No Longer Virtual I can list the best presentations.

You have to have crossover appeal. Even if the guests don't use the information or it does not apply- you learn a lot in school that has no practical use. If it is presented well it is good to know.

Noticing the night before how many "Old" people there are- I joked about old people last year with Rich and Amy. They are parents which makes them seem older. Would I rather be "youthful" or have a long, consistent relationship?

I'm not answering that. There was one more person who made the morning worthwhile. Max Schmitt was around most of the time. Before you say "Nepo Baby"- he took it to another level.

He looks like both of his parents. Children usually look more like one or the other. Sometimes they look like some other relative- an uncle or cousin. Max had the best of both parents who were both in attendance. He has his own style and someday- this conference will be his.

I don't think his mother is handing him the reigns of a conference where you break even if that and the ones who show up have relationships that ripple through their lives until we come back next year.

If you have never attended No Longer Virtual- I could list people I want to see in the future. Some other time. Certain people want to go and travel for work. Usually they are traveling elsewhere.

If it is your first visit; aspire to cultivating deeper relationships. The business connections will fall into place. Deeper relationships is where you should begin. After the first conference in Atlanta; I came home and went deeper with various colleagues (guys named John) and my sister who has always had a good relationship and open communication.

Think about it- I made the most successful relationship in my history better in the No Longer Virtual era. Any time you can go from good to better; take it. If you are a returning guest who already witnessed deeper relationships, aspire to long term relationships.

With married women. If you are a married woman- remember this is a long term relationship you will never have to consummate. There are degrees of success. I hated how male female relationships were graded Pass/Fail by what was done in private.

That is not the case and I could write another article about successful relationships others might have thought were failures because there were no candlelight dinners. Shows how long it has been since I was on a date.

I missed the "Where Do We Go Next" session that ends the conference. It's not like I am not in contact with others. You know it was good because I have not started writing Thank You Notes.

Last year I had to climb out of a hole and that was one way to accentuate the positive. I ended up writing Rich two Thank You Notes. I might send one this year thanking him for not showing up.

It would have been better if he could swing it. Maybe next year. No Longer Virtual Madison has a nice ring to it. Let's see if the Chicagoland guests head north when the Wisconsinites had no problem taking the bus or train to Chicago.

Can one person make a difference? Many times. It's not like I had a bad day until Max came around to me. It was certainly a better day in his presence. Any given day can take different directions. Bring out the best.

The End of The Max Factor

Thomas Jackson Will Return in Subtlety