Maturity Starts When Drama Ends by Marc LeVine

"I really don't understand how someone can be so unhappy and unsatisfied in their own life that they have to create drama just to be noticed.." - Unknown

My older sibling was a DRAMA queen.?Every situation she created for herself seemed to become an existential threat, which dragged everyone around her into. Many such circumstances involved the need for brinkmanship, in which it seemed like she was up against her final undoing.?Trying to rescue her from one dilemma after another marshalled everyone’s energy, compassion and?- very often - their most valuable resources.?With so much attention focused on my sister, not an ounce of oxygen remained in the room for anyone else to breathe. That was always her plan - knowingly or unknowingly. Her goal seemed always to gather up all the attention, sympathy and good will available, leaving none to spare.

Drama queens DO really exist. In fact, there are drama queens, kings, princes, and princesses all around us. We are likely to encounter several of them in our lifetimes.?They do not only exist within families and communities.?They are also alive and well in our professional lives.

We all know someone, who has stolen attention from others they once worked with.?They crave the professional spotlight and gain a great deal undeserved attention by creating their own brand of theater.?Every project and assignment is well acted to suggest either their heroism or victimization.?You’ll find them taking full credit for the success of others for praise and reward.

Dramatists also may be seeking large degrees of sympathy; often complaining the entire world is somehow against them. This is especially true when they fail to achieve their goals.?Each of their stories may drastically differ and the details are often so enormous that few can avoid being affected by them. The dramatists essentially pre-program their reactions and emotions to feed their own egos and to place themselves at the center of their narcissistic universe.

Drama is something most people will say they wish to avoid, but many still find it interesting, exciting and totally engrossing. They get caught up in the hype kust like they do a dinner theater mystery. ?At work, the drama employee writes the script to perfection. He/she weaves a story that demonstrates having had to overcome the hardest of hardships to rise up and recuse the day.

On the flip side, the dramatist will talk of personal sacrifices that crippled them before pointing out that no one else was up for the challenge or willing to rise to the occasion to accomplish key objectives. So, the dramatist was forced to take a bullet for the team in order to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Be so warned! Dramatics will only carry one so far, though.?Over time, it all gets old and stale. The usual antics are quickly sniffed out like the “boy who called wolf” or the Superman, who never fails to swoop in and save everyone. ?Believe it.?Overdoing drama can have a deleterious effect on any career. It is a clear sign of immaturity and of character flaws that few will tolerate, indefinitely.

How to avoid being a Drama Queen, King, Princess or Prince and be more genuine and appealing to others.

1.?????Be less self-conscious.?No one should require unlimited praise or sympathy.?Treat each day like a normal one without constructing any shenanigans and tall tales to help bolster your image.?You also don’t need to set yourself up to be a sad sack to encourage shows of sympathy and gain some form of profit.

2.?????Be a true team player. ?Every successful actor has an able understudy and group of talented players surrounding him/her.?DO NOT steal their thunder.?Agree to share in their successes and failures rather than engaging in exaggeration and hyperbolism simply to come out looking like a winner or being the injured party. Instead, just be available to support the team and be willing to share in the success and learn from the failures – collectively.

3.?????Know that others matter.?It is rarely all about you.?Avoid throwing your teammates under the bus to steal their earned recognition or to call attention to your own personal problems and shortcomings.

4.?????Stop trying to suck up to your boss. You may want all of your bosses' attention and assistance, but there are other members on the team, who are also entitled to some of it. The last thing anyone should ever wish to be is a high maintenance employee.?No one has the interest or energy to bottle feed a chronic attention seeker all day long. Eventually, every boss realizes his/her daily headaches can be easily alleviated by keeping one less problem child off his/her team.

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5.?????Don’t use people.?It may be your theater, but not everyone in attendance is a member of your cast. The people around you are there to work, get paid and go home to their lives, including your manager. They don’t necessarily want a role in your personal drama and they certainly do not wish the role of your psychiatrist, laborer or banker. When you concoct a far-fetched story in which you win and they lose, you are being shady and disingenuous.

May all the dramas you are involved in be - as we Jews call it – Mazel Tuv events – one's of joy and happiness.?Or, unfortunately, real human tragedies such as illness and death. These are things that occur from time to time in each of our lives and are accepted as apart of what life has in store.?Dramas that are artificially created for the explicit purpose of personal gain are too often sinister in nature and strictly designed to manipulate others.?Some people do this, repeatedly, because they just can’t help themselves and are in need of professional assistance.

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The Author

Listen to Marc's latest interview on “Failing for You” with Jordan Yates

Marc LeVine is a graduate of Syracuse (NY) University with a degree in Industrial Psychology, Marc is currently Talent Acquisitions and Learning and Development Lead at Thermo Systems. He is the recipient of the Excellence in Talent Acquisitions Award from HR Awards in 2021.

Marc's prior employment includes senior Human Resources and Staffing Industry management roles with Edgewood Properties in Piscataway, NJ, Brickforce Staffing in Edison, NJ, InfoPro Inc. in Woodbridge NJ and Plainsboro, NJ and Harvard Industries in Farmingdale, NJ, a former Fortune 500 company. He also served as Director of Human Resources for New Jersey Press, the parent company of the Asbury Park Press, Home News and Tribune and WKXW-NJ101.5. Earlier in his career, Marc served as Director of Career Services and Placement at Union Technical Institute in Eatontown and Neptune, NJ. In addition, Marc owned and operated Integrity Consulting Associates, a New Jersey based Human Resources and Social Media Marketing firm for 11 years. Marc also served as Council President in his hometown of Freehold Borough, NJ