In Mature Workplaces, People Carry Their Own Messages

In Mature Workplaces, People Carry Their Own Messages

What we permit, we promote.?I learned this phrase from speaker and author Liz Jazwiec. If new ideas and challenges are permitted and celebrated, more of each will take place. On the less positive side, permitting can reinforce actions that are not good. For example: A person regularly shows up late, and nothing happens…a leader repeatedly misses goals, and nothing happens…a person gossips, and nothing happens. The results are lateness, missed goals, and increased gossip.

This type of “permitting” happens in immature workplaces. People tend not to speak up to others who break rules and standards. People are unwilling to go directly to the person they are upset or frustrated with. Instead, they go to their leader or others in the workplace to “tell on” the person.?In a mature workplace, people go directly to the person. In my book?The Great Employee Handbook, this is referred to as carrying your own message.

My own childlike behavior was changed when I worked for Mark Clement at Holy Cross in Chicago. I was in a VP role and was frustrated with another VP. We both reported to Mark. In a conversation with Mark, I mentioned items that I felt this other VP needed to get done. My plan was that Mark would say he would talk to this VP. I waited for that response. Instead, Mark said, “How did [name of VP] respond when you shared with her what you just shared with me?” I was stunned. He then said, “After you and she discuss these issues, if they are not resolved, we can meet together.”

Mark forced me to be an adult. I could either act or learn how to have a conversation with my coworker. This lesson continues to make a big impact on my life. If Mark had said he would handle it, I would not have learned to carry my own message. I would have just kept bringing issues to him.

A few tips:

  1. When a person brings a concern about another worker, ask what happened when they went directly to the person. Usually they will admit they have not done so. Then, spend time with the person building that skill set. A lot of energy is wasted when people go to others with their concerns about a person versus speaking to the person themselves.
  2. Do not accept general statements. For example: “This person is creating a lot of anxiety.” What does that mean? Ask for specifics. Words like “a lot” mean nothing without specifics.
  3. Make sure one of your standards of behavior is “Go directly to people with your messages rather than taking them to someone else.” Then, if they come to you first, connect back to the standards. It will be clear the person is not living them.

The best leaders create adult workplaces, not adult/child workplaces. In mature workplaces, things run more smoothly and productively, conflicts decrease, the culture improves, and people learn valuable skills that allow them to grow professionally and personally.


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Kristin Baird

Culture catalyst helping healthcare leaders achieve high employee engagement, retention, and consistently positive patient experiences. I bring the magnifying glass, mirror and roadmap.

20 小时前

This is such a rich message Quint Studer. First of all, I love the quote, “What you permit you promote,” and never knew its origin. Second, I love describing the mature organization. It sounds so much more positive than something like ‘self-policing’.

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Cory Wolfgang

Solving the biggest puzzles

21 小时前

Such a great message, Quint! In diverse teams, this is even more important, as cultural and experiential differences shape how people perceive communication and decision-making. Too often, assumptions about intent or engagement arise when someone handles a situation differently than we would. Encouraging direct conversations not only strengthens accountability but also fosters understanding, reducing misinterpretation and building a more mature, high-trust workplace.

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Kerry Eaton

Fine Artist, Painter (retired healthcare executive)

21 小时前

I specifically recall talking with you, while at an LDI in a church hall in Gulf Breeze! You put your hands out in a cup-like position and said something like… ‘“Avoid taking other’s problems, instead ask them about their plan to manage the issue”. It was good advice, as I was prone to take on every issue that came (remotely) my way. After that, I’d hold my hands behind my back as a way to remind myself not to take the problem away from the owner. I didn’t always succeed, but I did improve & so did my team. Good memory!

April Hansen

Nurse, Hyper-Growth Business Leader, Keynote Speaker, Lover of People and Pizza

22 小时前

100000% spot on, Quint!! I am giving a keynote today and will be using my favorite Chris Voss line as a means to start a hard conversation … “I’m about to say something you may not want to hear…” Gets the defenses down and invites candor ??

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