Matthew Perry and the "Big Terrible Thing"

Most of you are going to look back and the goofy Chandler Bing, played by Matthew Perry for 10 years on Friends and think that's how he wanted to be remembered. But it's really the "big terrible thing" that dominated decades of his life, creating unimaginable struggles that he wants to be best known for.

You see, Matthew Perry had a jet ski accident resulting in a back injury for which he was prescribed Vicodin. He got hooked almost immediately and as his addiction progressed, it drove him to take over 55 pills a day, wasting him away to 130 pounds at his lowest point, and requiring 13 stomach surgeries. He spent over $9M trying to get sober, in and out of countless rehabs.

But that's not really the story Matthew wants you to focus on that defines his life. In a riveting interview with Diane Sawyer, Matthew unveils how the disease of addiction gripped him, what caused his continued relapses, and how finally he was able to regain his sobriety and his life. Here is "Matty's" advice and now his legacy:

"Addiction is far too powerful for anyone to beat alone"

Matthew shares that addiction is waiting to get you alone and the minute you isolate, it swoops in and takes you. Building a community around you and having the right safety nets gives you an outlet when you are struggling and others to help bring you back when the temptation is too great. That's why AA and NA have been such successful vehicles to build community among people who are fighting the same fight, but it doesn't stop there. Matthew finally told is co-stars about his struggles and they stepped up to be there for him when he needed support.

"Addiction is the obsession of your mind"

Anyone who has been in the throes of addiction understand that there is an overwhelming compulsion to use substances to fight off fear, gain confidence, feel better and the list goes on and on. And if you think it's something that you should be able to resist, think again. When your brain has been rewired to think differently, the urge to use is the most overwhelming and dominate driver in your life. For most people, using substances is not a choice but a necessity.

"You can track my addiction by gauging my weight"

Matthew indicates that there were physical signs that people could spot to that told you about where he was in his addiction - weight gain meant dependence on alcohol and weight loss meant dependence on drugs. His costars were not aware or equipped to recognize when Matthew was struggling, which is also the case with many family members. The lesson here is that everyone should elevate their knowledge of addiction and when you see something, say something.

"Helping others had become the answer for me"

The most unfulfilled and unhappy people I know are the ones that focus exclusively on themselves and how things that happen affect them and nobody else. The people I know that have maintained long-term sobriety and a return to health are the ones who are most aggressive about giving back and supporting others. Matthew's life goal and mission shifted from being the popular actor to the humble servant helping as many people as he could understand the disease of addiction.

"Keep fighting. Every time you seek help, you learn something that strengthens you."

Matthew's first counselor in rehab, told him as he was leaving, "remember, it's not your fault". A doctor prescribed Vicodin for an accident and the use of that drug immediately begin to rewire his brain, creating the conditions for addiction. There is something to be learned from each time you get help, each person you agree to help and how to create safety nets around you that get stronger over time.

We may learn that Matthew Perry's death was cause by a relapse or perhaps from the damage to his body over the years, but regardless, let's remember Matthew Perry for the courage he showed to tell his story, to detail the darkest hours that he experienced, and to hope that his struggle would help others push past their addiction and recover. So, here's to you Matty. You're now my friend forever.