The Matterhorn - failure and reflections

Last week I went in pursuit of a 3year ambition - to climb The Matterhorn, this article outlines my experience and my reflections.

Why do I set these challenges?

I have 3 guiding principles in how I want to live my life– one of them being ‘Challenge & Adventure’. ??Setting these challenges regularly is being true to myself. ?These challenges fuel personal growth, keep me fit(ish) and most importantly enables me to fulfil my life purpose ‘to inspire people, particularly my friends and family through my enjoyment for life and worldwide experiences’. What’s important to me is that on each challenge I look to change the playing field - doing something different each time ie: from running to swimming, cycling, kayaking, skiing, trekking and this time mountaineering. ?

?Why The Matterhorn?

20 years ago I climbed Mt Blanc

10 years ago I skied the Haute Route – a 6 day ski tour from the foot of Mt Blanc to the foot of the Matterhorn.?Unquestionably one of the best weeks of my life. When we arrived into Zermatt it was the first time I ?saw this majestic mountain.? In my opinion,?the most beautiful and iconic mountain in the world.??Later that evening, nestled in its shadow ?with a beer in my hand and the confidence having just spent 6 days traversing the High Alps I wondered to myself – maybe,?just maybe one day I could climb that beauty.

7 years later I was having a dinner with my good friend Phil Kemp he had just climbed Mt Blanc with his daughter, Ellie.? Phil had been part of our Haute Route challenge in 2012.?After a number of beers we were sharing stories of Mt Blanc and the Haute Route ?- and then there it was - we drunkenly agreed we should climb the Matterhorn.?It would bookend the Haute Route! The challenge was set and importantly a new playing field – climbing! ?To achieve this we had to become climbers , it was more than a trek.

Our Journey

We had one week in Alps to achieve our goal. ?1 day climbing skills, 2 days high altitude acclimatisation and 3 days to climb Matterhorn.?

Day 1 was a success and ?our brilliant guides (Calum Muskett and Tim Oliver) suggested our acclimatisation peak would be the Swiss Bietschhorn. Standing at 3950m ?it is not a popular mountain to climb as its just below the magical 4000m of which there are just 82 in the Alps.?It would however provide ideal Matterhorn prep. ??Day 2 we had a strenuous 3hr hike to a Bietschhornhutte mountain hut where we would rest up before our 2.30am start. ?

Our 2am alarm call was met with deafening thunder and lightning echoing around the mountain. Our guides decided to push our start time back?to a leisurely 3.30am. The first 2hrs was a punchy, fast up hill trek navigating by headtorch. Then quickly it was crampons and ice axes at the ready to traverse a snowfield before we hit the West Ridge in early morning daylight.???Phil climbed quicker than me and my heavy anxious breathing was only ?being interrupted by sporadic rockfalls around us.? Shit I thought, this is real and this is pretty dangerous. On cue dislodged by Phil’s boot above a plate sized rock came hurtling towards my face, ?which I palmed to one side. "Sorry Rosey" he shouted from above, looking back to checking there was no damage. Nervously traversing exposed sections I ?gingerly continued climbing this terrifying ridge for 3.5hrs until summiting at 10am, 30mins behind Phil. ?There was no sense of achievement or exhilaration as you might imagine. ?Instead all I could think about was ?I had to turn around and go back down the same terrifying bloody ridge which Phil was already descending. There wasn’t even a rewarding view as we were in the clouds.?The way down was slow, I was getting tired, altitude taking a toll and I was a little?scared.?F**k this I thought as I ?crept down, ?rocks occasionally gave way under my feet causing me to slip and creating rockfalls below. Phil was far enough ahead that I didn’t need to worry the rocks hitting him but still it wasn’t a great sign. My mind wandered to Lorraine, Grace, Harry and Emma and wondered what the f**k was I thinking. What was I doing on this bloody ridge as I’m not enjoying this. ?My inner voice was unhelpfully getting louder ?“you hate this don’t you? You're jacking it in if you get down safely.?You’re not climbing the Matterhorn now you’re just not good enough, you’re too slow and cautious. You suffered on Kilimanjaro and you’re suffering again now, when will you learn you bloody idiot ?you’re just not cut out for this shit”

I eventually made it back to the hut at 5pm. 13.5hrs after starting. 6.5hrs to summit 7hrs to return and a full 1.5hrs after Phil.?He greeted with me?hug and the news that the Matterhorn was off.?It was closed due to the dangerous conditions. Thank f**k for that I roared with delight. The decision had been taken out of.my hands. ?I had ?quick drink and then set off once again as we still had a 2.5hr hike from the hut back down to the car. Phil and I shared stories from the days adventure- bizarrely I hadn’t seen much of him during the day. ?It had been a gruelling , exhausting ?16hr day by the time we returned. I hadn’t eaten or had a pee all day - altitude suppresses your appetite and i was completely dehydrated. ?But it had been brilliant – this is after all why i do these things. Excitedly Calum shouted “ Rosey ...have you seen the photos of you and Kempy on the ridge (he had taken these with a drone) - they are bloody awesome. ?Well done boys that was a proper chunky day.”

Sadly we’d failed in our mission to summit the Matterhorn. But maybe more accurately we weren’t given with the opportunity.?I still don’t know whether if I had had the opportunity whether I would have gone for it after the experience on Bietschhorn (late nicknamed ‘BitchHorn’ by Phil and I). ?Our brilliant guides Cal and Tim praised us and said we’d be fine on Matterhorn ( but the cynic in me says of course they would). ?The following day we were back climbing on the rock and within 2 days summitting another amazing peak - so maybe the guides were right. ?They usually are.

Reflections

1. Growth is outside your comfort zone and that’s where the fun is (usually)

I’m not a climber....I don’t enjoy the technicalities of ropes and gear, I’m pretty scared of heights and?I’m 90kg.? None of these are good ingredients for climbing. ?Everytime I set foot on the rock I am a little anxious, but if I look at how far I’ve progressed in 2 years I’m proud of myself.?I'm still nervous on heights, technical rope?work is still not my favourite and I’m still 90kg - but if I wanted to do I could possibly call myself a climber – of course I won’t - I wouldn’t do that to real climbers. ??I’ve given it a real go and I’ve had some success, sometimes I've even enjoyed it. This therefore begs the question if I can stretch and grow like I have done on climbing, how can I transfer that growth mindset to work - and I love my work! Now that’s exciting.

2. This shit’s real and its dangerous

I’m referring to 2 things here, mountaineering and climate change.?

Mountaineering is dangerous, 2 people died on the Matterhorn the week before we arrived. On average 12 people die each year, 3000 successfully summit a ratio of 250:1.???Mountaineering accidents happen all the time and although your guides are there for your safety its not 100% guaranteed.?Sadly 11 people died (including Mountain guides) in a glacial collapse in Dolomites in July this year. ???I have to take accountability for my actions and?what taking these risks means to Lorraine, Grace, Harry and Emma and my Mum and Dad.? I genuinely feel at home in the mountains, ?I love them, but I sometimes struggle when I face up to the?dichotomy of embracing everything exciting the mountains has to offer and putting my life at some level of risk and what that means to my family. ?I never take for granted their love and support.

Climate Change -?This year Mt Blanc has been closed all summer due to dangerous rock fall, Matterhorn is closed for same reason and so are many of Europe’s biggest peaks. ?Rockfall is caused by melting permafrost due to extreme temperatures. ?These closures are not a one off. ?They will become the standard and when you see the impact of Global warming first hand it once again reminds me I need to do more in this space.

3. Teamwork creates better results and is more fun

I only do these challenges with trusted mates.?This is the 3rd time Phil and I have done a challenge together which stretch back over 15 years. From that drunken conversation we committed to being a team on this one.?Quite simply without him as a teammate I wouldn’t have done this.?We make one another laugh and he makes it more fun. From our practice days scrambling in the Peak District or our training weekends in Snowdon he made the journey enjoyable and I firmly believe you have to enjoy the journey not just the destination.?I feel we have a some unwritten team principles which have developed over those 15 years:

1. We have one anothers back - always
2. ?We are committed..there’s no room for flakiness
3. We will not give up – we will finish
4. We will make one another laugh

There were multiple reasons why Phil could have legitimately pulled out of this trip. If he had I would have absolutely supported his decision (#1 above) . However If he had pulled out I’m not sure I would have achieved what I did.? But he didn’t, and for that?I am very grateful.?I am even more grateful of his friendship. ?Of course I would never tell him,?but he’s a good guy.

What’s next?

Well the Matterhorn is still there. I know Phil wants to, but I dunno.

Another mate has mentioned the possibility of Fast Net Race.?I’m no sailor and I get sea sickness....so maybe I fancy ?changing the playing field once again - ?sounds like it could be right up my street!

We’ll see.